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16 comments

I always ask first to kiss a woman. It can be a short, soft kiss too if she says yes. Don't work yourself up thinking it needs to be a full on french kiss. Good luck!

Maybe start with simple gestures of attraction and affection, if you haven't already. A quick gentle caress. Holding hands. See how she reacts to touching when you hang out talking.

If you are feeling it, and you are pretty sure that she’s feeling it too, then just asking if she wants to kiss, or saying that you would like to kiss her often results in a kiss.

What does “feeling it” mean? The other primate sexual interest signals: touching, double entendres, extended eye contact, awkward silences followed by a smile, or more extended eye contact.

If you’re not sure, just ask. “Are you thinking about kissing?”

If you haven’t kissed, what other physical contact do you share? how close do you sit together? Do you hold her hand or take her arm on the street? Does one of you open the door for the other? Do you help her with her coat, or ask for her help?

I wonder what chemistry you’ve experienced in the last four months. You met on tinder, so do you think she is no longer interested in you sexually, but likes the friendship with you? What indication do you have that she is interested sexually?

I recently had a similar thing and I'm also young (18) and there was like no chemistry and physical touch felt forced so we are now friends. Maybe you guys just aren't destined for more than friendship?

On another note if you wanna dm me that would be cool, I haven't met another young lesbian with (presumably) similar views

Lesbian sheep syndrome? Does that mean lesbians are timid, stupid and can't think for themselves, and never take initiative? If so, it sounds like something a male would say.

Things must have changed a lot over the last few years, because when i was your age, the lesbians i were involved with were very confident and skilled - we were considered adults after all at that age. Back then, 4 months was a lifetime, and if you haven't even kissed yet, it is probably more of a platonic relationship. So my advice is - if it doesn't come naturally, it is probably not supposed to happen.

Oh no this isn't it at all! It just means that lesbians are sadly too used to the cultural idea of how straight romance is initiated so are unsure how to proceed when in a lesbian relationship and keep waiting for the other to make the first move. I think it is a real thing due to society punishing women for being too forward. (Not all lesbians have this complex of course, so sorry if it came across that way)

Thanks for explaining. On a positive note, there are quite a lot of lesbians who reject societal expectations. Historically society have rejected or excluded lesbians, so there is no reason or need for lesbians to abide by societal expectations. It just depends on how you look at it. I guess some see it as a punishment, while others see it as freedom.

Yeah, this forum has helped me enormously just from lurking. Seeing so many women being confident and loud really inspires me.

if it doesn't come naturally, it is probably not supposed to happen.

Thank you. Plenty of good advice in the comments here, but imo there's a more important question hidden within OP's question, and this is the answer.

What is lesbian sheep syndrome ? When you are sitting / standing close, have eye contact and ask “please may I kiss you?”

Kissing is a funny old lark but it’s not tricky or scary. Have you ever kissed anyone ? (I only ask because you say “kiss a woman”).

No I haven't. I've known I was gay since I was 11 but I lived in a very conservative area and never had the chance to date anyone.

You want to know how I got my first kiss when I was a year older than you?

Yes I was terrified myself, because I never kissed anyone before and I really wanted to kiss her. I was overthinking it and such. I had her over for a double feature movie so it was already lowkey and gaged her receptivity by slowly inching my way closer to her until I just let myself melt into her breast. And she put her arm around me and I straight up said I wanted to kiss her and that’s how it went.

(But I said so in a more romantic way. I learned how to say it in another language and it broke the ice. I said “have I ever told you that I can speak [x language]?” She said “no I don’t think you have”. I said “would you like me to say something in it?” She said yes and I said “I want to kiss you” in that language and told her what it meant. Just go slow).

I invited her to watch portrait of a lady on fire in a few days to set the mood. I’ll try something similar. Glad to know it’s not uncommon to be my age and not having kissed anyone. Thank you so much.