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I'm not sure if this is the right circle to post, but I feel like it's the most relevant.

for me personally, I don't think they should be included with LGB for the following reasons -

  1. asexuals aren't killed, ostracised, bullied etc just for being asexual. asexual women may be pressured into getting married to men, but that's just misogyny. lesbians go through the same thing, and so do basically single women of any age and orientation. ace men may be made fun of for being virgins, but that's just toxic masculinity. any virgin guy would experience that.

  2. asexual can sometimes be not innate, as in, a trauma response. sexual trauma from childhood or any time of your life really, can cause you to be asexual, especially sex-repulsed. no amount of trauma or life experience can turn a straight person gay. that's a very important distinction, and I don't doubt that it might lead to conversion therapy narratives against gays and lesbians.

    sidenote: this is personal (and maybe only happens online), but I've seen so much ace homophobia. I'm not sure if y'all noticed, but yeah. I was in a fb group that archived/pointed out examples of asexuals being homophobic, and there were asexuals in that group too. they (homophobic aces) made fun of gay men for being infected with HIV, by saying stuff like "haha, I'll never have HIV! I don't fling myself at random people" during a conversation about that epidemic, in regards to LGB issues. it was a tumblr post, I'm not sure how to find it, but the hyperlink is to a tumblr blog that points out ace homophobia. I've never used tumblr, and maybe this is just a very online phenomenon.

I'm not sure if this is the right circle to post, but I feel like it's the most relevant. for me personally, I don't think they should be included with LGB for the following reasons - 1. asexuals aren't killed, ostracised, bullied etc just for being asexual. asexual women may be pressured into getting married to men, but that's just misogyny. lesbians go through the same thing, and so do basically single women of any age and orientation. ace men may be made fun of for being virgins, but that's just toxic masculinity. any virgin guy would experience that. 2. asexual can sometimes be not innate, as in, a trauma response. sexual trauma from childhood or any time of your life really, can cause you to be asexual, especially sex-repulsed. no amount of trauma or life experience can turn a straight person gay. that's a very important distinction, and I don't doubt that it might lead to conversion therapy narratives against gays and lesbians. sidenote: this is personal (and maybe only happens online), but I've seen so much [ace homophobia](https://homophobicaces-blog.tumblr.com/). I'm not sure if y'all noticed, but yeah. I was in a fb group that archived/pointed out examples of asexuals being homophobic, and there were asexuals in that group too. they (homophobic aces) made fun of gay men for being infected with HIV, by saying stuff like "haha, I'll never have HIV! I don't fling myself at random people" during a conversation about that epidemic, in regards to LGB issues. it was a tumblr post, I'm not sure how to find it, but the hyperlink is to a tumblr blog that points out ace homophobia. I've never used tumblr, and maybe this is just a very online phenomenon.

29 comments

[–] [Deleted] 10 points Edited

Most people are just abstinent or happy not to be sexually involved with others. The way the world's gone makes this even more extreme. Sex and sexuality has become really distorted, for women specifically. We're being targeted all over and it's why most asexuals springing up are women.

Of course there's levels of sex as well. You don't have to be down for everything and anything, some people are just happy with touching, some don't ever want penetration, some do. Patriarchy and male sexuality dominates the conversation, and creates a weird fixation on how men have sex. The entire framework for sex and sexuality is built around males and penis. And that's how women think of it and eventually think of themselves sexually defined by what a man does to them, especially with his penis.

Exploring your own body and what you actually enjoy and how you respond to pleasure is important I believe. And it doesn't have to be an identity or make you feel like you're not normal. You are, it's the world that's fucked and you're just reacting to a messed up reality. Our bodies, and how we view and embody them shouldn't be defined by male ideals. And truthfully I think asexuality is something that has sprung up from those ideals. That isn't to say there's not people perfectly content with not having sex, but the way it's defined, and the narrative really shows it to be a reactionary sort of thing.An opposition to male dominated sexuality.

I'm really just thinking aloud here, but I've been on this track of how men have completely distorted the way we see sex, and the relationship we have with our bodies and our sexuality. There's just a lot to unpack.