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I'm currently in a relationship with a man but I don't think it is working out. I have a very strong preference for women, but it seems like I keep dating men simply because they're convenient rather than because I'm actually attracted to them.

I would much rather date a woman, but I have a lot of difficulty just finding women who aren't straight without going to spaces explicitly for LGBT people. Unfortunately, I haven't found any spaces in my city that drop the T, and I don't think I would get on well with someone who expects me to change my political beliefs to include autogynophile acceptance.

I'm kinda stuck here, so advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to respond!

I'm currently in a relationship with a man but I don't think it is working out. I have a very strong preference for women, but it seems like I keep dating men simply because they're convenient rather than because I'm actually attracted to them. I would much rather date a woman, but I have a lot of difficulty just finding women who aren't straight without going to spaces explicitly for LGBT people. Unfortunately, I haven't found any spaces in my city that drop the T, and I don't think I would get on well with someone who expects me to change my political beliefs to include autogynophile acceptance. I'm kinda stuck here, so advice would be appreciated. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to respond!

24 comments

Can you share what country you live in, and what region of that country?

East Australia, a major city

[–] mauvaisefoi 9 points Edited

Oof, yeah, no spaces here that drop the T. I second word-of-mouth, but with asking straight people as well and not using the word 'lesbian' because its meaning can be unclear to some and might exclude women-leaning bisexuals. I find straight people actually pretty eager to tell you about a homosexual/bisexual acquaintance if they find out you are gay.

I'm not even out to most of my friends but some in the past have said to me, "I know a girl who's also into girls" and it's just such a simple, non-bullshit way of meeting real lesbians. Though it helps that my social circle is mostly working class.

Other than that, community sports are a good place to meet lesbians. I've also heard Canberra has a high density of gays and it doesn't seem like the kind of city to host Twitter-dwelling transcels so maybe keep an eye out for that if you happen to find yourself down that way.