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I personally was in denial of being a lesbian until my first year of college. I went from thinking I was hetero, to aromantic asexual, to homoromantic asexual. Then I weened myself off of the antidepressants I had been taking since middle school… and I could no longer pretend I was ace once my sex drive finally kicked into gear lol.

The whole process between straight and lesbian took about 5 years though. I’m not sure if that qualifies as late bloomer status or not. The few lesbians I’ve met said they knew their orientation in middle school, and the bisexuals usually said they knew by high school.

What about you guys?

I personally was in denial of being a lesbian until my first year of college. I went from thinking I was hetero, to aromantic asexual, to homoromantic asexual. Then I weened myself off of the antidepressants I had been taking since middle school… and I could no longer pretend I was ace once my sex drive finally kicked into gear lol. The whole process between straight and lesbian took about 5 years though. I’m not sure if that qualifies as late bloomer status or not. The few lesbians I’ve met said they knew their orientation in middle school, and the bisexuals usually said they knew by high school. What about you guys?

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I'm bisex. Sort of knew in high school but never paid attention. Then when I was 21 I fell hard for a female friend and couldn't deny it any longer. Then I went out with guys for 7 horrible years, until finally deciding to look for a girlfriend despite that being significantly more difficult in terms of numbers. Asked my current gf out at 29, it's been an amazing two years.

Mine is going to date me. I realized something was "off with me when I noticed myself staring at my Ginger Spice poster 😆 on my bedroom wall more than the other posters of male music artists. I started realizing I noticed girls more often and wanted to engage with them more often then boys. Then I had this friend in middle school who would be very close with me. She would cuddle, lay one on the love seat in my family's living room, she would spend the night all the time and just be really close to me. Then I realized what it meant to be a lesbian and I got really scared. At that time it was still a hushed thing. I told my brother that I thought that I was gay and he accepted it and just said "Ok, have you told mom or dad?" A day later I told my mom that I think I was and her response was "Yea, I know." I'm like WHAT?! She tells me that she's known that I was a lesbian since I was 5. Apparently I came up to her one day and told her That I did not like boys because they are gross and that I like girls much better! Dad said same thing! 🤷🏽‍♀️

I don’t really know. I guess I was always interested in women as role models, favourite characters, friends, etc more so then men. I didn’t really question it because it made sense for it to be people similar to you. I also freaked out whenever lesbians were in movies/television because I wanted to watch but not look too interested.

At school, there was one girl who I really liked, I just thought I wanted to be her friend so that’s what we became (& still are). I had no idea it was anything different - the unable to recognise/identify feelings of being autistic makes things hard. Over the years, the same sort of thing occurred with other girls in the class, though my feelings towards the first girl never went away. I didn’t think I had a chance with her, there was no way she could be attracted to women too, let alone me when there are so many amazing women out there & I’m not one of them.

There was one teacher, the science teacher, I really liked her & looked up to her greatly. Unlike my other teachers, she wasn’t married, no relationship (that she told us), fairly gnc, very handy, wore loose clothing, so many random skills up until that point I hadn’t seen someone like her before. Fun Home had just started it’s Broadway run & they used Ring of Keys for the Tony Awards performance & I remember thinking that’s me with my science teacher. I got as much Fun Home stuff as I could get my hands on & managed to see the show during its run. I realised I was a lesbian after that though didn’t start telling people a few years later before the end of high school.

Once I got to university, I became more comfortable being a lesbian, which was greatly helped by my dear friend who’s also a lesbian. I realised the girl I liked more than the others at school, was actually a decade long crush. The Prom had just finished its Broadway run & it plus other life events encouraged me to contact her for the first time in years & I told her finally after over a decade & moved on since she now has a girlfriend. Now it’s now.

Middle school was when I realized I was bisexual, I’ve only focused on women since. I’ve crushed on girls/women before then but since I wasn’t knowledgeable in the existence of homosexuality, I assumed I was straight.

I’m starting to think I might be bisexual. I never really considered it till my mid thirties.

I came out for the first time at 15, went back in the closet from 17-20 due to family conflict and social isolation and then I wasn't comfortable in accepting that I was only attracted to women, I just said "I definitely don't like men"/called myself "queer" and was celibate from 20-25, though I came out fully as a lesbian when I transferred to college at 24. Been getting outter and prouder every year since then! 🏳️‍🌈✨

Eta: funnily, the woman that made me realize I was a lesbian was actually non-binary. I called myself queer but I knew I was attracted to her because she was female and that really helped me face my lesbianism and accept it.

[–] [Deleted] 6 points Edited

Time for me to overshare!

I was always attracted to women, my first romanticthoughts were about other girls were when I was like 8. I have a really homophobic family, so I internalised their hatred and I didn't even put two and two together about the thoughts I was having about women and the possibility of me being gay. It's hard to explain, I knew I had thoughts about women, but I didn't think that meant anything, being gay and have thoughts about other girls, it NEVER occured to me. Because I had compartmentalised it.

I remember all the propoganda I heard from my sunday school teacher, my primary school teachers and my family. I remember being gay was such a taboo in my family that when I was a kid, one of my friend's older sister asked me what swear words I knew, I proceeded to go through a list and at the end I blushed and whispered 'ᵍᵃʸ'. It was the ultimate taboo in my eyes. I remember the first time I typed up the word 'lesbian' to see what it meant, all I saw was porn. I remember being grossed out by the idea that I was a 'lesbian' because of that. Also my family used 'lesbian' as an insult and a dirty word. Even now when I hear family or friends talking about gay women they always whisper the term lesbian. Literally, I have a friend that does it all the time, she'll be talking about something to do with lesbians but when it comes to actualy saying the word, she will whisper or mouth 'ˡᵉˢᵇᵃᶦⁿ' if we are in a public space. I have considered cutting off the friendship because of this. I still hate the term lesbian because of these experiences.

It caused me so much pain, I thought being gay was gross and I thought gay marriage was wrong and I 100% identified as straight. I remember a teacher telling the class that sexuality is more fluid than we believe it to be, and I remember in my head being like 'nope, not me, i'm 100% not attracted to girls' lol. Once I fully deconverted from christianity, I was able to accept my attraction to women, but I still preferred to keep it private because of how strongly against homosexuality my family was.

[–] PaulaAlquist 7 points Edited

I didn't know, but my schoolmates did. I was relentlessly bullied for being lesbian, being a predator (I was absolutely not!), rumors went around that I was a boy. English wasn't the first language, and not the one spoken at home.

I finally admitted it to myself in college. I fell in love for the first time, with a friend, for whom it was also the first time, so I did eventually get a lesbian fairytale.

I've had crushes on girls since forever. My parents chalked it up to "hero worship." But by the time I got old enough to recognize the romantic nature of my feelings, I questioned it for a while because it was the height of the whole "guys love lesbians" thing, and there was a lot of backlash against "fake bisexual girls" going around. But when I was 14 I fell madly, undeniably in love with a woman and the rest is history.

Got hit in the face with it in middle school but spent the next four years in denial and repressing and trying to be straight, until I couldn't ignore it anymore. Went from not caring about being involved with anyone at all, to forcing myself to have "crushes", then figuring I was just asexual because none of my boyfriends elicited any sort of reaction out of me, to bisexual and thinking I could just ignore the same sex attraction, to realizing it was only women and it had only ever been women.

I grew up a conservative home and attended a religious school. At around 10 years old a classmate explained that gay meant two men who wanted to marry. I went home and cried because I wished there was a option like that for women. 🙃 I have never been very smart.

I didn't start telling other people until high school. .

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