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This is a 2-in-1 post discussing the the rise of TIF identities among bi women in particular, and talking about my personal struggles with feeling like "enough" of a woman as a heavily SSA bi woman. I'm wondering if others can relate, and if this could be one of the reasons why transition is on the rise.

I've been noticing a very sharp increase in feminine/gender conforming bi women who are identifying as trans or non-binary now. Lesbians are even more affected by it, but I'm noticing that it's starting to affect bi women now more than I've ever seen before.

I'd like to add that a lot of people are still under the assumption that most FTMs are lesbians, but this isn't true anymore. As of 2015, 29% identified as some flavor of bisexual. Additionally, another 24% identified as "queer", which is a nebulous identity that could mean anything. Only 23% identified as "heterosexual" (aka lesbian). I wonder how it's changed now.

I have 3 theories:

1: Bi women experience disproportionate amounts of domestic and sexual abuse. I am aware that it's becoming more and more common that women who have experienced abuse/rape become TIFs/non-binary later on. (See also: Demi Lovato, Courtney Stodden, etc.)

2: Many bisexual people feel like they are not "queer" enough for the LGB(tq+) community. Bi women are generally are more likely to conform to feminine gender roles, and most are read as straight. Many often report a general sense of alienation from the community. Perhaps some of them have decided to identify as nonbinary in order to feel "queer" enough?

3: Maybe they feel like lesser of, or a "failed" woman for liking other women? Low self-esteem?


This is the post-within-a-post. Also, this one relates to WLW in general. That being said:

I think about this a lot. As I look back on my life, I think that if I was just a few years younger, woker, and/or more naive, I'd likely be identifying as non-binary right now because of this.

When I was in middle/high school, I had a lot of internalized homophobia, and I felt like a "failed girl" for MANY reasons, but the biggest one was because I am mainly attracted to women. I couldn't relate to most of the "girl-talk". So I generally preferred to either be alone, or maybe hang with the boys (if they were being respectful, which they SELDOM were). I felt like I didn't like guys "enough" and was frustrated by it.

TRA propaganda was beginning to go mainstream at the time, however it wasn't as pervasive back then like it is now. But as I said, my internalized homophobia (and general low self-esteem) made me feel like I was failing at girl/womanhood. I think that if TRA propaganda was more common and if I wasn't an Anti-SJW edgelord at the time, I'd have probably been convinced that I'm "actually not a girl" and identified as non-binary.

As someone who is somewhat GNC, to this day, I still struggle with feeling like a "less" of a woman compared to feminine women. (Especially the ones I find attractive.)

Anyone else can relate to this feeling?


4: Any detrans/desisted/former NBs that are bi who care to shed some light on it would be very helpful. I think there are many other reasons that I haven't considered and it'd be nice to hear your input.

End of post. Sorry if this post was messy & scattered given that this is a 2-in-1, but I didn't want to spam the circle with 2 posts, especially since I feel that one of them is tied to the other.

This is a 2-in-1 post discussing the the rise of TIF identities among bi women in particular, and talking about my personal struggles with feeling like "enough" of a woman as a heavily SSA bi woman. I'm wondering if others can relate, and if this could be one of the reasons why transition is on the rise. I've been noticing a very sharp increase in feminine/gender conforming bi women who are identifying as trans or non-binary now. Lesbians are even more affected by it, but I'm noticing that it's starting to affect bi women now more than I've ever seen before. I'd like to add that a lot of people are still under the assumption that most FTMs are lesbians, but this isn't true anymore. [As of 2015, 29% identified as some flavor of bisexual.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_sexuality#Transgender_men) Additionally, another 24% identified as "queer", which is a nebulous identity that could mean anything. Only 23% identified as "heterosexual" (aka lesbian). I wonder how it's changed now. I have 3 theories: 1: **[Bi women experience disproportionate amounts of domestic and sexual abuse.](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/nisvs_sofindings.pdf)** I am aware that it's becoming more and more common that women who have experienced abuse/rape become TIFs/non-binary later on. (See also: Demi Lovato, Courtney Stodden, etc.) 2: **Many bisexual people feel like they are not "queer" enough for the LGB(tq+) community.** Bi women are generally are more likely to conform to feminine gender roles, and most are read as straight. Many often report a general sense of alienation from the community. Perhaps some of them have decided to identify as nonbinary in order to feel "queer" enough? 3: **Maybe they feel like lesser of, or a "failed" woman for liking other women? Low self-esteem?** ---- This is the post-within-a-post. Also, this one relates to WLW in general. That being said: I think about this a *lot*. As I look back on my life, I think that if I was just a few years younger, woker, and/or more naive, I'd likely be identifying as non-binary right now because of this. When I was in middle/high school, I had a lot of internalized homophobia, and I felt like a "failed girl" for MANY reasons, but the biggest one was because I am mainly attracted to women. I couldn't relate to most of the "girl-talk". So I generally preferred to either be alone, or maybe hang with the boys (if they were being respectful, which they SELDOM were). I felt like I didn't like guys "enough" and was frustrated by it. TRA propaganda was beginning to go mainstream at the time, however it wasn't *as* pervasive back then like it is now. But as I said, my internalized homophobia (and general low self-esteem) made me feel like I was failing at girl/womanhood. I think that if TRA propaganda was more common and if I wasn't an Anti-SJW edgelord at the time, I'd have probably been convinced that I'm "actually not a girl" and identified as non-binary. As someone who is somewhat GNC, to this day, I still struggle with feeling like a "less" of a woman compared to feminine women. (Especially the ones I find attractive.) Anyone else can relate to this feeling? ---------------------- 4: **Any detrans/desisted/former NBs that are bi who care to shed some light on it would be very helpful.** I think there are many other reasons that I haven't considered and it'd be nice to hear your input. End of post. Sorry if this post was messy & scattered given that this is a 2-in-1, but I didn't want to spam the circle with 2 posts, especially since I feel that one of them is tied to the other.

11 comments

I feel like you used to have to be extremely gnc for people to support a transition, meaning that more lesbians were pushed into it because more of them are gnc. Now that "non-binary" is so popular it's hitting a broader spectrum of girls. Maybe it snowballs, a girl who's struggling for other reasons goes on tiktok and sees a girl she can relate to saying that adopting this identity fixed all her problems.

Re: what TIFs ID as, I think a lot of them who were(/are) lesbians don't know what to call themselves after transition so they just say "queer". They still only date women, but they know it isn't really a hetero relationship, and they don't want to say lesbian anymore.

Re: what TIFs ID as, I think a lot of them who were(/are) lesbians don't know what to call themselves after transition so they just say "queer". They still only date women, but they know it isn't really a hetero relationship, and they don't want to say lesbian anymore.

Yeah, I considered that too when writing my post, But I've seen TIFs of all sexualities refer to their sexuality as "queer" because it's basically a wildcard, so it muddies the waters imo. But to be fair, most "queer" TIFs I've seen are usually lesbians who know that their attraction to/relationships with women will never be the same as actual men's attraction to women. So I'm sure that the percentage of lesbian FTM is higher than those statistics I cited imply.