12

Show comments

16 comments

You should never "stay together for the kids" for any reason, it'll always lead to them seeing toxic or outright abusive relationships

And if this man is married, I fear for her

There is so much evidence out there that kids growing up in violent households suffer. And pretty much every abuser grew up seeing his father beat his mother so actually getting out of that marriage asap is the better option for children.

I’m also pretty sure that kids suffer when their dad murders their mum. I don’t have any stats or research to hand on that so I’m going out on a limb with this suggestion (/s)

So, I’m absolutely dying to know if he thinks a man should stay with a wife who cheats

I’m dead sure he wouldn’t suggest putting up with that

Even though unfaithful wives aren’t the leading cause of death in men younger than 50

What’s the biggest killer of women under 50?…oh, yeah, abusive men

Because it's so great for the children watching daddy brutalize mommy.

.. and then, when he rapes her daughters and beats up her sons, then they blame her for not having left him.

I hate men.

🛎 no matter what we do in response to men’s intractable insanity, it’s wrong

Because it's so great for the children watching daddy brutalize mommy.

I saw Hillbilly Elegy. Vance of all people should understand how damaging it is for kids to be raised by a couple in a toxic and/or abusive marriage. I guess too much time in the elite echelons of the GOP rotted his brain

FFS.

Even the Catholic Church wants you to get to safety.

The correct thing to do is whatever the victim wants to do to address the situation. Victims are hyper aware of their safety and their gut instinct should be followed.

Victims should not be pushed to stay, nor be pushed to get a divorce, nor should victims be presented black and white options. If a victim truly feels that divorce is against her morals, other options should be presented, like separation.

Victim advocates are mandated reporters and those kids are getting called in. Not sure what good staying together "for the kids" is going to do when dfacs takes them away.

What a way to say you're a violent abuser you piece of shit.

Paywall. Can someone tell us what exactly did he say?

“This is one of the great tricks that I think the sexual revolution pulled on the American populace, which is the idea that like, ‘well, OK, these marriages were fundamentally, you know, they were maybe even violent, but certainly they were unhappy. And so getting rid of them and making it easier for people to shift spouses like they change their underwear, that’s going to make people happier in the long term,’” Mr Vance said while addressing the Pacifica Christian High School in Southern California last September, Vice News reported.

“And maybe it worked out for the moms and dads, though I’m skeptical. But it really didn’t work out for the kids of those marriages,” he continued.

“And that’s what I think all of us should be honest about, is we’ve run this experiment in real time. And what we have is a lot of very, very real family dysfunction that’s making our kids unhappy.”

Asked by Vice News recently why he thought it would be better for children if their parents stayed in violent marriages, the best-selling author of the book Hillbilly Elegy refused to respond.

“I reject the premise of your bogus question,” he said in a statement via his campaign.

“As anyone who studies these issues knows: domestic violence has skyrocketed in recent years, and is much higher among non-married couples. That’s the ‘trick’ I reference: that domestic violence would somehow go down if progressives got what they want, when in fact modern society’s war on families has made our domestic violence situation much worse. Any fair person would recognize I was criticizing the progressive frame on this issue, not embracing it.”

Mr Vance has faced backlash for his comments from Democrats as well as journalists and commentators on social media.

“JD Vance thinks parents should stay in violent marriages ‘for the sake of their kids,’” said his Democratic Senate election opponent Tim Ryan. “That’s not just wrong, it’s unbelievably dangerous,” he said.

He sounds very inarticulate. I'm trying very hard to be fair and objective, and not jump to conclusion. It seems like he's talking about the problems of break down of families, but he's conflating domestic violence into his point and the whole thing of what he says is just a mess. Either way, even giving him lots of benefit of a doubt, he is just wrong if he thinks not getting married is A reason that leads to more domestic violence. He doesn't even back this theory up with any evidence because he can't. It's absurd and has no basis. And he's completely clueless the way he thinks people in violent abusive relationships are just ending their marriage so they can "change spouses like underwear" to make themselves happy. That take is beyond idiotic. HELLO!!! People are leaving violent relationships to avoid physical harm and possibly death.

What a moron.

Exactly. And domestic violence REPORTING is up. All those trad “suck it up and accept DV” marriages he’s exalting were just as dangerous for women, but there were no DV shelters, no one in law enforcement or the courts cared or believed women and reports weren’t even made, and women were told by everyone around them to just stay with their violent husband “for the sake of the kids,” the same exact BS he’s spouting here, which is just braindead “family values” anti-woman circlejerking/virtue signaling for his right wing fan base.

It's hardly a bogus question when HE chose to bring up violent marriages explicitly in his rant deriding divorce.

Nice strawman though. No one said marriage is the reason domestic violence exists. Though it certainly makes it harder to escape (which enables abusive men to escalate), especially with the pressure on from the likes of him to stay even when it's known that the husband is violent.