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I was wondering if there is a circle for GC parenting talk, or how making a circle works. I would love to talk about so many topics, as I feel that this gender stuff has permeated absolutely everything, and I also prefer GC opinions sometimes over woke ones.

Fb groups are an absolute disaster zone and Reddit parenting groups are a race to the bottom between the gender affirmation and how much online and screentime is fine and if you say that too much internet and porn can have bad side effects you are an evil privileged Facebook crunchy mom that invalidates everyone's struggles.

More specifically I have a son and I would love to have actually constructive talks with other GC mom's raising boys which doesn't boil down to all men are bad or just forcing only dolls and feminine stuff on him. I would love to talk about how most boys items especially clothing are very dark colors only, very bland and boring while girl things are fun, sparkly, neon, glitter, etc. I believe that we see a lot of young boys gravitate to those things because they are just cool looking but there is a gender cult that wants to say "aww he just loves feminine things" instead of just knowledging that kids like fun colors and shiny things!!

Anyway, tl;dr: it would be helpful to have a GC parenting circle.

I was wondering if there is a circle for GC parenting talk, or how making a circle works. I would love to talk about so many topics, as I feel that this gender stuff has permeated absolutely everything, and I also prefer GC opinions sometimes over woke ones. Fb groups are an absolute disaster zone and Reddit parenting groups are a race to the bottom between the gender affirmation and how much online and screentime is fine and if you say that too much internet and porn can have bad side effects you are an evil privileged Facebook crunchy mom that invalidates everyone's struggles. More specifically I have a son and I would love to have actually constructive talks with other GC mom's raising boys which doesn't boil down to all men are bad or just forcing only dolls and feminine stuff on him. I would love to talk about how most boys items especially clothing are very dark colors only, very bland and boring while girl things are fun, sparkly, neon, glitter, etc. I believe that we see a lot of young boys gravitate to those things because they are just cool looking but there is a gender cult that wants to say "aww he just loves feminine things" instead of just knowledging that kids like fun colors and shiny things!! Anyway, tl;dr: it would be helpful to have a GC parenting circle.

60 comments

I just came to this circle looking for an answer on this. Would love to see it. Have an infant daughter and advice on raising her is so desperately needed.

I desperately want a parenting/motherhood circle here as well. Mothers face unique hurdles (especially with genderwoo being all over the schools and children's media). So it would be nice if we had our own space to chat and vent to each other about it

Agreed. I have 2 boys and I don't really talk about it much here because I find comments from child free women unhelpful.

have 2 boys and I don't really talk about it much here because I find comments from child free women unhelpful.

Oh hon, don't get me started....

Most of the childfree women here are respectful. But there are a handful who just seem to relish making us "breeders" feel like shit for pointing out that mothers face a unique strain of misogyny. As if we're somehow implying that childfree women have no problems.

I don’t know how this is possible. Anyone with an eyeball to spare can see that mothers are the spittoon of society. While being its most important and productive members. It’s disturbing.

I see this so much - devaluing mothers and the role of motherhood amongst some feminists. It's awful. It seems to tie in with internal misogyny, fear and thus hatred of older women.

[–] SecondSkin 0 points Edited

It’s somewhat this, but younger mothers get dismissed and treated terribly by other women a lot of the time also.

The fact there’s a gardening circle and a crafting circle etc, before a parenting one, seems batshit. Maybe it was assumed that it would be a sub part of another circle, but the idea mothering is a sub part of anything else, and not as huge and over whelming and all encompassing as it is, is still dismissive and derogatory. Raising human beings surely should matter more than hobbies. And any discussion of motherhood elsewhere here is often unwelcome, or attracts judgement and derision. Mothering is such a huge thing at any time, in the middle of trans madness it’s even more overwhelming. But how we do it will impact on how this contagion continues or falls. So surely prioritising a space for that matters? So we can share ideas without the snide comments, or the well meaning but unintentional silencing ones, descending en mass.

[–] Tesserae_Tali 13 points Edited

Speaking as a childfree woman, I'll say that the disrespect and dismissal definitely cuts both ways, both on this site and elsewhere (although I agree that most women here are respectful). This is, unfortunately, one of the deep and enduring divides in feminism.

ETA that I do think it would be great for Ovarit to have a circle for mothers. A circle for childfree women might also be nice, although I think probably less urgent. And am I correct in thinking that there's still not a circle for women of color . . . ?

And am I correct in thinking that there's still not a circle for women of color . . . ?

I'm not sure how a women of color circle would work. Since "woman of color" covers a HUGE swath of VERY different people. And then you get into the messy business of defining who counts as a "WOC" and who does not. At least "mother" and "childfree" are straightforward categories

Why do we even have this divide? Other divides I get, like the “should we glorify Benjamin Boyce” divide, but I will never understand the childfree/mother divide or the bisexual/lesbian divide. Maybe outside of Ovarit, but we are all here fighting the same fight so why get caught up in that kind of bullshit?

Yeah, I also like the idea of having a circle for each. I think a lot of the negative comments are just because people are running into stuff they'd rather not see. Not an excuse--I like that here people are generally nicer than other anon places on the internet. But it would maybe help if these things were hosted off the beaten path (not in one of the main circles).

No circles seem to be made any time soon if ever. I think the mods have just given up on the idea

[–] SecondSkin 22 points Edited

I agree with this also. I find discussions about mothering are generally unwelcome here (I’m guessing that’s partly an age thing), and a circle just for this would be helpful.

I have girls who have autism, so are especially vulnerable to this contagion. As well as in need of much greater safeguarding/help to understand they have a right to boundaries. So find I spend a lot of time trying to counter it in advance. But this can be limited by their anxiety, their different development levels, just general drowning with the emotional labour of kids with send needs.

And I’d really love a gc parenting space. A place to freely talk to other parents about this stuff, with their first hand experiences and ideas. Where it doesn’t feel like mothering is unwelcome or silenced or devalued. It would be a really valuable space imho.

So, if you go to the /circles circle, you'll see that this is a much requested circle. It's my understanding that the site is kind of maxed out in the resources department (can't remember the details, but you can find out in /circles). It sounds like they're intending on starting a /parenting when possible.

I would like one too. I have a son and raising him in this world is hard.

I think this is not only a good idea but a vital one. If I had time I'd start one myself

[–] SecondSkin 5 points Edited

Safe schools alliance have a Facebook page (but I don’t do Facebook), Bayswater support have a forum (but it’s for parents whose kids are caught in rogd. I think). And mumsnet feminism forum is groundbreaking (but it doesn’t focus on parenting, and the sections of mumsnet that do, don’t have solely gc traffic).

So I agree with your point that it’s vital. This contagion will fail when kids are safeguarded against it. Proactively, not just steps taken once they have rogd. While that’s way easier said than done, it is something we can take active steps to try to safeguard our kids. And that will always be more powerful if we share gc parenting ideas/successes etc.

[–] Len 14 points

I would love to see this as well. I have a son and daughter…so far I’ve posted most of my parenting question under the women circle, and that seems to work, but would love to see one focused on parenting.

In order to make this happen someone with enough points, understanding of the site and it's rules, time and desire, needs to step up and moderate. I believe that is the factor preventing creation of a lot of circles that women have been requesting.

If anyone fits that bill, I'd enjoy this circle too. I have one GNC child old enough to be gender critical herself and I would love some way to network to get her some friends who won't turn on her for not being alphabet soup enough. I'm afraid being a gen z radfem is going to be even lonlier than it is for us older gyns.

I'm a gen Z radfem. I doubt I've ever said anything about my personal views on politics beyond the walls of my house or ovarit. :/

I don't blame you at all. My daughter has become terrified of her age cohort. They believe so fervently and turn on any dissent, disagreement, or even questioning with a violent intensity. They were indoctrinated so young I have little hope that many will ever turn from it. The best we can hope is for it to become deeply uncool and they'll pretend they never really cared for it. I'm afraid it's going to be a very alienating life for many more years if not forever for critically thinking young women like my daughter and yourself.

It is a different era for Mother's & kids now. In the '90's when I was raising my child, gender conforming wasn't as strictly enforced in toys, clothes & even activities. The schools didn't encourage gender ideology. Our kids of both sexes played with toy kitchens and cars & we didn't push them into it. They were there & it was normal & they did have the examples of some Men in their lives cooking, cleaning & Women doing yardwork. Or both doing both. In the 70's & even 80's Women could have short hair & men have long hair without being transed-& both have colorful clothes & jewelry. Parents & kids need support so that kids do get the message-you can be the sex you are & still like what you like. Those of us who aren't currently raising kids can help with political pressure in school board elections. Putting out lists of resources like books, media, that were positive messages that we might have used or given. Buying clothing as presents that include bright colors or non-stereotyped graphics to give to both sexes. Toys in primary or neon or earthtone colors instead of ONLY pink or blue. The stores & companies track what sells, more demand, more sales, could move them to provide less stereotyped kids stuff.

I would love this too.

It would definitely help navigate school topics too. I think it would be amazing to have a network of GC parents sharing things. Karlyn Borisenko has a spy stream of some crazy woke school meetings. We need a lot of these documented across the country to fight the "it's not happening" narrative.

I need to find that crazy woke school meetings thread and add to it. Last night I attended a school board meeting to discuss the sex ed curriculum. A posse of parents turned up to complain that they don’t think the school should notify parents when different topics in the sex ed curriculum come up because that stigmatises those topics. (Note that schools here in New Zealand are required to allow parents to op out of any part of sex ed.) They also complained that the school (which has kids aged 5-12) hadn’t done anything to celebrate’ international pride month’. One woman said ‘my 10 year old daughter Saffron is so disappointed because she identifies as a queer-ally”.

Christ alive I can’t believe there are parents peddling this nonsence aswell!!! I think that mother meant she didn’t have the oppertunity to send her daughter in as a queer ally and flex her good parent skills.

Also parents should absolutely be able to opt their kids out of any sex/gender related school activity’s. But I for one want to know exactly what they’re planning on teaching

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