and sleeves. Why do girls get stuck with those tight little cap sleeves that hit their upper arms at weird angles?

It's been the same since I was a kid, and I was a kid a loooong time ago. And I remember hating cap sleeves so much back then and wanting boys' shirts because their sleeves weren't uncomfortable.

As an adult woman, I STILL hate them! Why is it so hard to find a normal damn t shirt 😡

As an adult woman I have problems with most womens tops - why the hell does the sleeve always seem to go right up into the armpit?!

I move, I do things, so I sweat - I cannot wear any top with sleeves that are cut right up into my armpit because it (1) is sodding uncomfortable, and (2) looks hideous since I can't control the amount I sweat, and (3) makes the sweating worse.

What's wrong with having space around the armpit for ventilation & air flow? Why are womens tops always so skin tight? I basically stick with vests b/c I'm so tired of trying on clothes only to find the fabric wedged as far as possible into my pits.

You’re this close to joining the world of sewing out of hate for off the rack clothes. I’ve been taking oversized menswear and refashioning it for my body, giving myself wide sleeves and enough ease to comfortably move my shoulders.

Unfortunately, because I’m not a professional, it takes me between 5-20 hours for one item of clothes. Yes, that includes me making mistakes and having to unpick the threads. So I only have a few me-made garments. It takes a lot of motivation for me to start a project and put in the effort to deal with mistakes.

I envy those people who like sewing. I do it because I can’t spend another day in uncomfortable clothing or in pocketless situations.

A tip: look on wholesale websites. I use one called JiffyShirts and buy crew neck shirts that are unisex. They are like $3-$8 per shirt (high quality shirts too!) in many cases.

Cap sleeves don't look good on ANYONE. I mean literally anyone that isn't a stick figure pre-pubescent girl (and not even necessarily them either). I always thought they made arms look like sausages.

this is true come to think of it, I have always worn boys tshirts I have very few womens ones and the few I have came off the internet from a few obscure online stores like shirtpunch.

Sleeves are often too tight, I'm not massively fat I have a 32 inch waist and big boobs so I get the bigger sizes to fit my tits in, but yeah I subconsciously avoid tees with those little sleeves as they are always too tight even if I get the larger sizes to comfortably fit my tits in, I dont think my arms are massive, 12 inches round the bicep, but yeah those girly tees have always been tight and uncomfortable round the arms and I've had to return them so often I've given up them.

in fact now my son is a teen I have started wearing his old tees too, I realised they fit me perfectly fine when he was 11 years old and I now pay attention to the boys teen range for myself as they are cheaper then adults, why the hell can I an adult women find tshirts for 11 year old boys more comfortable and a better fit then tshirts made for women

When I was a kid and my mom took me clothes shopping she made me try on everything and I wouldn't come out of the dressing room for her to see it if I determined that "I can't play in this". Comfort above all else.

[–] AnneDoe 0 points Edited

God I hate those so much. I begun wearing men's t-shirts years ago and never went back. Women's shrits are always restrictive in weird places too and they show off curves when I just want to wear something comfortable. Even the extra large ones look horrible. Men's t-shirts are way more comfortable and the fabric isn't full of elastic so it actually breathes and doesn't get harsh and uncomfortable the more you wash it. And the necklines, ewrgh. They are either too low and scratch my clavicles in a weird way or they are too small and make me feel trapped. Women's clothing in general is just shit when it comes to comfort.

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I hate all the “be kind” crap that girls get stuck with. “It’s cool to be kind” and “positive vibes” and all that...never see it on boys clothes 😒

there was a wonderful FB post the other day, you know those stupid "live, love, laugh" words for the home? it was one that said "eat shit die" now thats my kind of home decor.

lol that's an old one. In GTA V there's a character (Trevor) that pretty much takes over this one soyboy's house and he has "live, love, laugh" written on the walls (by his neurotic pickme gf who prostituted herself to her boss). What does he do? He writes "eat shit die" in literal shit all over it. I love GTA V even with the sexism.

Be kind

Be happy




Sparkles! Rainbows! Unicorns!


My son has a shirt that says "kind is the new cool" but we are in a foreign country with little grasp of english sooo take that with a grain of salt

That’s nice to know! :) I’ve never seen any boys ones here in the UK :/ I’ve even seen grown women wearing similar messaging here

OMG don't even get me started. It's not just girls and boys, but adults T-shirts too! Uniqlo does this. Lucky Brand does this. I recently discovered a brand called "Life is Good", and they do the same thing. It pisses me off to no end. Why do boys and men get all the fun and exciting themes, fun characters, funny and cool iconic pop culture things, but girls and women get dumb boring shit like pretty flowers? Oh yes and girls and women ones get the freakin "Be Kind" bullshit. GTFO. I HATE this shit. It's enough to make me want to open my own t-shirt store to sell t-shirts for girls and women with cool, snarky, fun, vintage and all the other types of designs they only put on male t-shirts.

I buy uniqlo tshirts but I have never had a womans one only the mens as they get all the anime stuff and the women just get Peanuts, altho they seem to be getting less anime stuff and more art and the designs of the anime stuff have become more plain and boring.

every time I look at the womens its Peanuts as in Snoopy why? I've stopped bothering looking

Exactly! I really like the old anime stuff (those one when anime was just a medium of entertainment before it was co-opted by genderspecials to "express their identities") I never buy their women's t-shirts. Before the Peanuts they were all flowers. Meanwhile the men's had cool graphics like Godzilla v. Mothra.

I first started shopping there for gundam tees, but the last 2 or 3 sets of gundam tees they've had has been rubbish designs, I have over 70 tshirts guess they dont want my money

I have a little girl and I feel this so much. Girls pants also tend to be tight leggings that fit like a sausage casing. Which sucks in the summer because their little bodies need to breathe

Unfortunately the cute neutral clothing is typically the most expensive. You can pick and choose and carefully curate a decently “chill” baby wardrobe if you really try, but the brands that are more subtle and able to be chosen from freely are more high-end. If you’re shopping the cheap stores it gets full on dinosaur vs. tutu.

Dinosaurs are neutral though. All "boy" clothing is neutral unless it makes a reference to being a boy on it.

I think there's not so much mums wanting their girls to be little princesses than there are dads/family men losing their mind if their boy might look at something remotely associated with being a girl.

I was watching a youtuber who also does family vlogs (Colleen Ballinger aka Miranda Sings), and her eldest son (~3 year old) loved her water flask so she bought a smaller one for him and let him pick the colour. He loved the hot pink one because it was the brightest option - and I see how every toddler would find hot pink exciting.

Luckily, they are amazing parents, so kid got the colour he wanted, but I don't think that's always the case. One time of dad ripping a pink thing out of boys hands and getting angry and that kid will be forever scared of pink. I really feel like this divide is there to pander to parents with issues.

[–] Tortoisemouse 3 points Edited

I think a significant number of parents go along with gendered everything just to help their children fit in.

My son's favourite colour was pink until he started school and got bullied for "being a girl" and having a pink sports kit bag.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have discouraged him from liking pink (and liking/doing other stuff that is coded "girl") to protect him from school bullies but I don't want to reinforce a system that causes so much harm. The bullying happens because of the system. Reinforcing the system to avoid the bullying just feels like giving in to bullies. I did slightly throw my son to the wolves because of my gender-critical beliefs and I don't exactly know how to square that. Also, my son's personal experiences with pink might mean he grows up to be one of those men who is scared of pink and then reinforces that for his own children.

Pink can be a really nice colour. My daughter (younger than my son) actively hates it because it's "for girls". My son probably would still like it but avoids it because it's "for girls". The whole gendering thing is fucking annoying and it's so frustrating as a parent because you literally can't escape it and can't protect your children from it no matter what you do.

You're right, even if the parents are great, in school the kid will come in contact with kids who've been drenched in their own parents' issues. They're bullied by their parents, so that's how they communicate with others as well. I still do think, for an example, your son wouldn't be as affected by bullying by peers because he has the confidence you get from the support of the most important people in his life - his parents. I mean, in young age parents are seen as these superheroes that can do anything. That gives both strength and perspective to sense that the bullies have the issues, not him. Still, of course, it's not the most pleasant experience to go through, but while you cannot shield him from it, you've given him the tools to get through it himself.

Thank you, this is so nice of you to take the time to reply so thoughtfully.

This is very perceptive of you because my son does indeed have good resilience. He has coped with being bullied because of gender nonconforming preferences, having dyslexia (again bullied for this), and being the smallest in the year (always last in ever race/sports, and bullied for being small). We moved him to a different more suitable school, got him extra support for his dyslexia, nothing we can do about his size, but you must be right that having parent support through challenges builds resilience and quiet inner confidence.

My daughter on the other hand has had almost no difficulties or obstructions in her life. She is lucky to be good at nearly everything, high-achieving, popular, capable. Her resilience is ATROCIOUS and she falls to pieces at the smallest setback.

Being male also gives my son an immediate bit advantage in life. Hopefully I will be able to support my daughter with all the shit coming her way when puberty sets in.

I would love girl's clothing with animals AND pretty flowers. I would love boys clothing with adventure AND pink. (My son used to have a nice button-up shirt in pink and he loved it. Especially wearing it on Valentine's day.) Everyone deserves more options!

1960 called and wants their t-shirts back.

Maybe it will launch a women’s movement for liberation.

The 60s was awfully sexist but at least they didn't have those garish shirts for children. I always hated contemporary childrens clothes when I was a child.

I used to get Garanimals (founded in 1972) for my girls. They were interchangeable and appropriate for either sex, mix and match. No outrageously girly items, plain T’s, cotton and they loved primary colors. I just found a 1970’s ad for “Katie”. It showed her roller skating, climbing over a fence and fishing.


I looked them up now and the creator sold the company and they are sold at Walmart now. They aren’t as bad as most clothing for girls now.

In the 3rd grade (~2004) I was obsessed with those happy bunny and paul frank shirts. They were good humour in good taste, came in every colour/style anyone could ever want, and never asked girls to 'be kind'. Instead, they read things like: -"cute but psycho. things even out." (I find this hilarious as someone with several mental and cognitive disabilities because without humour the world is bland asf) -"be the stupid. people shut up." -"totally me" -"peace, love, angry birds" -"girl genius" (in colours like blue, green, red, orange, camo)

Now when I look through a girls section I see: -"be kind" -"daddy's girl" (🤮) -"good vibes" -"strawberry fields forever" -"smile!"

I know this doesn't reflect all 'girls' clothes, but I just don't understand how TRAs feel so strongly "against" gender stereotypes that a tomgirl is just a boy who wants to be a girl and a tomboy is just a girl that wants to be a boy. What the hell do the clothes you wear and the way you present yourself and the interests you enjoy have anything to do with your biological sex? Who cares what you 'identify as'? If you are being your authentic self, it shouldn't matter to you what others think about how you choose to present yourself. You can't dictate what other people say or do, you only have control over your own response and feelings.

Boden is pretty good about making cool clothes for girls with interesting themes.

I'm not sure about that. The Mini Boden "girls" landing page, is swamped with pink, frills, flowers, fairies, mermaids wearing bikini tops, butterflies, tiny cap sleeves, spaghetti straps, off-the-shoulder tops, bikinis, spinny skirts. https://www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/girls-new-in

There are a couple of cool things (dinosaur leggings, jellyfish t-shirt) but mostly it's the usual, if better quality.

The boys page is all blue and aggressive predators and camo print and sports motifs. https://www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/boys-new-in

Scandinavian kids clothes are the best I've found. Polarn O Pyret used to be good but is increasingly gendered. Duns and Maxomorra are good but soooo expensive.