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29 comments

I’m gobsmacked and heartbroken and yet at the same time I shouldn’t be surprised. Finding this post at the top of Ovarit this morning is a bit of synchronicity.

Last night my friend and her husband dropped by. As we were chatting the subject came up that the husband visited a brothel back in his early twenties when he was “lonely”. Heretofore I would have classed this guy as a Nigel. Kind, polite, willing to hang with two chronically ill women and be the packhorse. And yet. He visited a brothel thirty years ago. He was having difficulty describing his feelings about the experience. Both his wife and I put words in his mouth, wife on the side of “he was a kid in a candy shop”, me on the side of “of course he was weirded out, its strange to treat another person like an object”. I wish I’d shut my mouth and listened a little more instead of trying to find ways to quell my own sadness and horror.

Oh, I remembered how the subject arose. I asked about his father who recently had heart surgery. The talk of dad turned to the idea they were glad that his father had an age appropriate girlfriend because before he was turning into a dirty old man and they’d been considering the idea of shipping him off to one of the Nevada brothel towns for servicing. That in turn brought up the subject of the husband’s long ago visit to a brothel.

It really is every single one of them. No matter how the guy felt and it wasn’t entirely positive, he didn’t have any trouble doing the deed when it came right down to it. We are things to them.

During this whole conversation, I kept the focus on how horrifying the life of a prostitute is. There were no arguments from either. But somehow the exploitation is okay in people’s minds even when they recognize it?

I’m so upset about this. So upset that I’m pushing my feelings down so that I don’t get angry or cry. And I’m avoiding my daily morning call with my friend.

Because it’s not only all men, its a terrifying number of women too who tacitly look the other way or classify these women as different. They aren’t different. It’s all us.

You did the right thing by voicing how wrong it is. People need those kind of reality checks from a friend; they start to presume no one really disagrees (no one who counts such as a friend, anyway) and need to hear dissent, even if they don't change their mind.

Was that story about considering sending his dad to a brothel a joke on their part? I can't tell.

No, I don’t think it was a joke. The father had started being inappropriate with women who were around him. Including another friend of my friend who had gone out to dinner with my friends and the father during a family visit.

I’m seriously upset about this. I used something I read on Ovarit as an illustration. Walk into a crowded restaurant. I used the local diner as an example. A prostituted woman would be obligated to have sexual contact with every man there. My female friend of course understood this. I’m not sure her husband did. I’m not comfortable thinking of him or referring to him as a friend anymore. Really upset. Because this guy isn’t monster man. If guys who aren’t monsters are okay with this and instead of giving his widowed father a talking to about appropriate behavior, age ranges and dating was wondering if getting a prostitute for his elderly father was a viable option what does that say?

I know the guy in question would probably class my friend and I differently from the prostituted women but here is the problem. I don’t class us differently.

My feminism isn’t a secret to anyone who knows me in the real world. They’re probably surprised I didn’t say more honestly. I’m just so stunned. I honestly don’t know how to think about this.

I'm just so gobsmacked that not only did he buy a woman and considered buying them for his dad (to "cure" his creepy behaviour? Wtf?) but that they both thought so little of it that they'd speak to others about it like it's normal. Have the creeps like this guy noticed they can get away with being open about it nowadays?

I think it’s something most men would do at least once in their life, if the option was available. It is what it is. To stop the exploitation we have to stop women and girls from being prostituted in the first place.

No arguments here. Not only should buying sex be illegal it should be inconceivable. That’s what’s getting to me, that the humanity of these women is not just discounted but discarded.

Wow, that is horrible. I'm sorry.

Thank you watcheratthegates. I’m seriously not sure what to do with this. :( Here’s the irony kicker. Saturday was his birthday so I had a card all ready for him. Saying what a nice guy he was. Head bang.

"All my fantasies of having a slave to abuse are just right there!"

Call it for what it is, PROSTITUTION IS SLAVERY!!! Fucking disgusting men!!!

‘It truly is like living in a fantasy world. Walking through a parlour door and getting to pick from a range of girls to suck my cock and be fucked by me. All my teenage fantasies right there.’ – Anonymous sex buyer

Read more: https://nordicmodelnow.org/myths-about-prostitution/myth-punters-are-lonely-single-men/

Thank you for the link to your site. Your site was the balm my soul needed today. Or the fire. Thank you for the work you do.

A man's fantasy is a room full of enslaved women who wouldn't go anywhere near him if they had the choice. Sounds about right!

Man fcks woman = Subject verb object

And they still pretend they're in their right to do so 😵

Can we get this gross sensationalist shit off the front page? We already know depraved men think like this. Thanks.

A lot of women, myself among them, did not know men thought like this. It’s jarring but eye opening. I wish I’d seen more meme type stuff like this 20 years ago. Quick and to the point and invites the reader to do more research and reflection.

[–] Killer_Danish 18 points Edited

Yup. It hurts to hear, but need to hear it. These are the thoughts of far too many men! I watched this documentary on punters a decade ago, and guys would openly admit to buying women if they believed all their male cohorts were doing the same. Which is funny, because if a guy admitted to me that he purchased a woman, even just once, he’d be dead to me.

Brian Cranston told a story on Howard Stern about going to Europe as a teenager and nervously buying a woman to take his virginity. I lost all respect for him as an actor and I hope he continues to fumble in his post Breaking Bad career.

Honestly that kind of doesn't surprise me coming from Brian Cranston. His character is a sociopath creep and he pulls it off so well.

It actually blows my mind that some women did not know men think like this.

I first saw it at like age 8 on the Internet as a kid. These attitudes in viewing women as props/subhuman are everywhere. Look at how media represents women falsely and then demonizes us for their offensive caricatures. Look at the normalization of the porn industry and subordination of women.

I suppose it is truly hard for me to believe so many women make it to adulthood and still believe the majority of men are on their side.

And fish don't know they're swimming in water, or whatever that saying is... It benefits women to have these things pointed out because so many are just used to it and don't realize the situation we're in.

Women are incentivised to delude themselves about men because they find the reality of loving and living among a class of people that would find them being brutally raped sexually arousing too painful to bear.

[–] notyourfetish 7 points Edited

Same. A boy grabbed my ass when I was six years old, and I knew then that men were disgusting.

How is it sensationalist to quote actual things johns have said? I'm thankful NordicModelNow posts here on Ovarit to keep us informed.