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It's not embracing your sexuality, it's making yourself sexually commodifiable.

When I see women's sexuality spoken of it's almost always about the women doing what men like, never anything for herself.

One of the biggest hoodwinks the patriarchy ever pulled was convincing woman that man's wants are actually her wants.

[–] Occam 25 points Edited

I blame p### saturation for grooming women into believing that to be sexual is inseparable (even indistinguishable) from being sexually desirable, to the extent that women of all sexualities are almost assumed to be able to masturbate to their own reflections (seriously, how often have you heard that as a transition goal from TIMs?). Between that and a purity- and status- engrossed culture (e.g. race worship, being blinded to a man's actual looks and physique so long as he's even remotely accomplished), a tragic number of women are divorced from and struggle to articulate the reality of their own sexual preferences, even if they have healthy peer circles of female friends where they're free to explore and be open about what they find unabashedly hot in men.

Fucking ironic because women are supposed to be the selective mate of the species—men have collectively Pavlov'd us out of our evolutionary proclivities by kicking the bar ever lower for other men.

"Fucking ironic because women are supposed to be the selective mate of the species"

Very true, a lot of human reproduction and sexuality makes much more sense bearing taht in mind. From hidden ovulation, the need to have sex many times to be sure of pregnancy, the way that it takes trust and empathy for men to be able to bring women to orgasm. All of these make sense is we view human sexuality as a female sexual selection, with the female orgasm as a sort of Lek.

Pornism turns all that round, male access to money overrides female selection.

You can fuck hot men if you want but they’re still narcissists

Personally I have found “unhot” men often to be just as narcissistic, so you might as well go for whatever a “hot” man means to you personally.

The delicate, ever so fragile ego of the narcissist is indeed a terror to behold. I have had practical experience dealing with some loser who got completely assblasted that I disrespected him at a game tourney. He was incredibly... persistent to say the least.

How incels think women choose mates is how it should supposed to be but in reality isn't. I've seen way more attractive women with less attractive men. It's almost always the woman who is the more attractive one.

So sad! I am an aging hippie, who "embraced" my own sexuality by taking stupid risks earlier in my life. Today, I am a full time traveller, and I happen to be in London at the moment. It shocks me how young women dress these days. It has been super hot here lately, and I get that, but showing more than half of your breasts, or allowing your buttocks to show below the edge of your too-short pants is just sad. It looks desperate, not sexy. These young women look like porn stars, or porn-star wannabes nowadays. There are plenty of women on the streets in London wearing headscarves, and clothes which cover their whole bodies, and while I feel sorry for them as well, the contrast could not be more striking. I guess I am getting old.

I find it incredibly difficult to move past "performative sexuality" for myself. And I am a member of Ovarit!!! I look around at the young women aspiring to look like porn stars and I think, what other option do they have? If I, a middle-aged feminist is struggling, what hope for most of those girls?

I am happy to see reports of a Gen Z porn/sexualisation backlash, but when I look around the city streets of the UK I see so much self-sexualisation, self-objectification in the very young women/teenagers.

There's a difference between embracing your sexuality and embracing being a sex object

I had a conversation about this exact thing in a group chat with my friends all agreeing and then the same day i saw one of them had posted she wished radical feminism would die faster on her Tumblr. They all agree on all the points that aren't trans related. It's so frustrating.

So glad people are starting to notice this. If your sexuality is perfomative then whose sexuality are we even talking about? Certainly not women's.

100% this. Embracing being objectified ≠ embracing her sexuality.

I don't see anything wrong with someone, male or female, wanting to look sexually desirable to the sex that they're attracted to. But I know that there's a huge pressure for women to look perfect that doesn't exist for men. For me it's the double standard that's the problem. I wouldn't go as far as saying that dressing scantily clad and showing a bit of boob is serving the patriarchy.

My main issue with beauty standards for women is how hard they are to stick to and the shaming that women get for not conforming to them. Men are not shamed for being unfit or too hairy. "Dad bods" are embraced. Men aren't expected to shave all their body hair off. Men can just exist as they are naturally, whereas women have to do all this extra stuff to be considered worthy.

In a weird way it reminds me of Victorian girls putting their hair up to signal marrigeability, except for pop stars and actresses it involves sexy photo shoots and movies/videos in which they play skin-baring vixens.

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