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34 comments

[–] BloodOfTheRaptor 40 points (+40|-0) Edited

That last sentence is a K.O. to the third wave.

I love /r/FDS, sadly its days are likely numbered.

I love /r/FDS, sadly its days are likely numbered.

Me too. I wish it was around when I was much younger and trying to navigate the world of dating. The support and camaraderie alone is worth its weight in gold.

[–] hexchromosome 19 points (+19|-0)

I'm impressed by their lightning fast growth!

FDS has also done a great job of branching out to other social media, so when the inevitable ban happens, I'm betting it will only strengthen them.

[–] Verdandi 10 points (+10|-0)

They also aren't explicitly radical feminist, so they attract all kinds of women. It's really exploded in popularity!

[–] XXathlete 2 points (+2|-0)

I still can't get approved over there. Commented several times and gotten the auto "this needs to be reviewed," all stuff that hits their side bar, I've messaged their mods... No luck.

[–] hexchromosome 2 points (+2|-0)

I had this issue for a long time, too. The mods are just swamped. After a few tries I was able to comment, and posting to a little longer before I managed to snag a mod. Don't give up!

[–] Calico 14 points (+14|-0)

They’re aware of that, and they’re building networks outside of Reddit. They have their own forum and website, although it’s not nearly as active as the original sub. Yet.

[–] girl_undone 13 points (+13|-0)

Asking people to switch from a link aggregator, threaded comment style site to a forum in kind of a big ask IMO.

[–] Calico 14 points (+14|-0)

I agree, the convenience and format of Reddit does make it much easier to engage with content. Hopefully as they grow they’ll be able to develop a more robust platform.

Worst case scenario there’s still the Reddit clones like saidit, etc.

[–] twoxfeminist 5 points (+5|-0)

Male 'feminists' are a fucking joke. They're 'feminists' because they support what protects their own interest. Not to mention inserting their opinions where they do not matter, like women's voices being heard first by default as a biologically oppressed class when it comes to the discussion of men being in women's spaces. if I have to interact with one more man who is up in my mentions about me being a TERF or SWERF or w/e, I'm going to go insane. For all of the shit that they do and then to hijack our own movement, men are so lucky that women don't resort to violence against others like they do.

[–] Amareldys 14 points (+14|-0) Edited

I already thought it was good for me and progressive and edgy in '99... I was part of the problem and the reason this shit happened.

Funny thing is, I was so turned off by pro-porn, pro-prostitution, sex pozzie culture back in the early 00s and declared myself NOT a feminist because of it. It just didn't seem beneficial to women. It was when I got slightly older (and was surrounded by nothing but libfem friends) that I began to believe the BS (and even then it was with great discomfort).

Should've listened to my younger self LOL

[–] Calico 16 points (+16|-0) Edited

There was a time in the early 2010s when I was exiting an environment of religious conservatism and did kind of lean into libfem beliefs as a way to undo some brainwashing, but I never went full sex-pozzie.

While I strongly agreed that women should not be shamed or harassed for having sex, and of course that sex workers were human beings entitled to the same basic rights we all have and should not be treated as disposable, I had a lot of problems with the kind of shit they expected feminists to fall in line with.

I didn’t understand the logic behind trying to claim that self-objectification and pandering to males was “empowering”. I could never see how being a stripper or porn star or camgirl or even someone who is so promiscuous that they value quantity over quality of sex was a strong independent woman “taking control” of her sexuality. Actually sis, sounds like your sexuality has very little to do with yourself and everything to do with chasing that sweet, sweet male validation.

Where was the talk about female pleasure? I mean real pleasure, not the kind you get from being the one desired by someone else — seeking sex on your own terms based on your own desires and not forcing yourself into some stupid man’s gross fantasy. Why was that not the foundation of sex positivity? And why was no one bringing up how much men needed to step the fuck up and start treating sex as something you do WITH someone and not TO them?

It was all about how “good” feminists are supposed to retrain themselves to think, instead of how we deserve better and needed to demand better from men.

But heaven forbid some pickme ever feels like kind of a crappy feminist because she indulges rapist men in their horrifyingly abusive sexual fantasies instead of going to fucking therapy.

So yeah, if I hadn’t discovered radical feminism I would have already given up a long time ago.

[–] Verdandi 8 points (+8|-0) Edited

YEP!

My friends and I all had that "Feminine NOT Feminist" sticker/flag thing on our DAs (DeviantArt, which was insanely popular in the 2000s).

This was despite being pro-choice, pro-union, anti-war, etc. Every progressive idea, we just really REALLY hated all the blue hairs telling us choking on dicks is sexy.

[–] cupcakes_and_shiraz [OP] 7 points (+7|-0) Edited

This was me way back when; was pro choice, anti-war (even marched with Code Pink a few times), supported equal pay for equal work and anything pro-women and girls, but called myself a "humanist" and a "conservative" rather than feminist because I thought prostitution, porn, BDSM and and cheap hookups which assuaged male egos was unhealthy (which in retrospect I probably meant "exploitative").

It wasn't until I came across pro black women spaces (which in turn reaquainted me with radical feminism) that I was able to call myself a feminist again.

[–] questioningtw 11 points (+11|-0)

I really regret my pro porn days. When I was like 19 I honestly thought porn was ok because it was consenting adults and most video stores kept their adult movies hidden. Most porn was also crap like the Maddams Family and not the extremely sick stuff you see today. I had my peak porn moment around 2007 or so when a woman was harassed offline for being called a child abuser for now allowing her son to view porn and even a bunch of feminists where saying she shouldn't be so mean to her son. People should have been listening to anti porn feminists instead of ridiculing them.

[–] z6iiab 10 points (+10|-0)

yeah... she knew. and now some TRAs are even trying to lie about her being "pro-trans" or thinking TIMs are actual women, ugh, their revisionism is so colonialistic and disgusting.

[–] ClovenCrotched 9 points (+9|-0) Edited

SWIW is the trickle down economics of feminism

[–] Verdandi 7 points (+7|-0)

Didn't that used to have a name having to do with horse shit?

Like the horse gets the most oats and the little proletarian birds get to pick through it's shit for leftover oats.

[–] Seven 5 points (+5|-0)

So many mantras repeated, people really get brainwashed by this...

[–] HessaHein 2 points (+2|-0)

All these mantras are just thought-terminating cliches, tautologies designed to quell cognitive dissonance. You can repeat it as many times you want but it doesn't change reality.

[–] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

What can we do to not raise a mantra repeating generation? I see hope in my daughter who questions everything but I don’t have faith in her teachers and the school system who seem to be big in mantras.

[–] Seven 1 points (+1|-0)

If she questions everything she’s in the right path. A lonely one, but in the right path

[–] [Deleted] 7 points (+7|-0)

So powerfully stated, and that last part is especially cutting.

(Btw, do you have a link to the actual post and/or an archive?)