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44 comments

[–] nothefunkind 9 points Edited

I agree, i understand the mindset of some radfems around the topic of every single male being horrible (i've been there), but at the end of the day i think it's fruitless to lose hope in the decency of some men, especially young boys who are being raised in this culture. This doesn't mean to throw caution to the wind or drop your guard, but i've seen some really gross comments to mothers here that are concerning. I've been wanting to open this topic up more but am a little nervous

Yeah, I get venting, but it makes me nervous seeing extreme views here. It's important that we don't fall into demonizing TIMs too much, or else our concerns and criticisms lose merit. The worst TIMs are the loudest, so it's easy to become biased.
The whole movement is destructive, but we should remember that many of the individuals are just extremely confused, mentally ill people who need therapy. One of the most productive, smart, creative, independently successful people I know is a friend of mine who's a TIM, but he's not at all like the ones we hear about here. He doesn't try to speak for women, doesn't try to invade women's spaces, and has actually told me how much he detests and resents TRAs. He keeps me grounded on the topic. But he is ill and needs help.

You just did a “not my Nigel!” with a TIM.

Oh my.

I wish you a speedy peaking!

Already peaked, clearly. Just haven't gone over the deep end into black and white, good and evil thinking. That kind of thing will drive people away from our cause and make us easy to dismiss as hateful bigots.

[–] crodish fujoshit 6 points

I'll give them the benefit of doubt when they stop skinwalking us.

Your friend, as "grounded" as he might be, still claims womanhood because he identifies as one.

Yeah, I don't like it, but as he's on the cusp of suicide I'm not about to give him flack for it.

I'm certainly not advocating for benefit of the doubt. There should never be benefit of the doubt in legislature that is made to protect the vulnerable. I believe that if exploitable avenues exist, they will inevitably be abused. Even on a personal level, you don't owe someone the benefit of the doubt.
I just want to base my TERF position on a place of compassion and justice for women rather than hatred of TIMs.

I get the downvotes, and I don't blame folks. My comment was arguably out of place and over-serious. I just really don't want to see another community I love go down that path. I want to be able to proudly point people this way without scaring them off with comments like that. We have good and valid points and concerns, and I don't want people to be able to dismiss them off the bat as bigotry so easily.