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It's more than being considerate towards your abuser's feelings though. It's trying to appease them rather than fighting or telling them to fuck off because there's a very real possibility that he'll get irate and attack or kill you. I've heard people say that "fawn" should be added to the fight, flight, or freeze responses, and I think it's true for women especially. We have to resort to other means besides brute strength.

This is a good point and one of the big reasons that victim advocates always do what the victim wants to do. Of course, we want to support them making their own decisions and learning how to do that again and of course we don't want to force them to do anything. But, also, they know their abuser. They know the tiny micro-expressions that mean something is going down. They know what to say that will have a better chance of calming them, or at least getting "only one" black eye. If the victim says "I can't do that", she may not be able to articulate why (still in FFF mode), but her gut is right.

But, also, they know their abuser. They know the tiny micro-expressions that mean something is going down.

Also applies to street harassment, getting hit on at a bar, and other comparatively mild interactions with men who are strangers. Women learn to pick up on the signals aggressive creeps put out as girls because the have to. This is why I have zero sympathy for idiotic men who whine that women cross the street to avoid them.