I remember being picked on by a neighborhood boy in 2nd grade, I came home crying and my mom said that I needed to be extra nice to him because he probably had a hard home life and when people are mean to me that I should be even nicer and try to be their friend. I recognize this is how my mom was taught to be, and my grandma before her, and on and on. This drive to be nice is embedded in me and really hard to shake off, even when you are aware it is total bullshit.