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i have previously used n.e.u.r.i's for heightened situational anxiety. few months here and there over the years. i have cptsd to the point i'm considered disabled and have had doctors offer me full time use of brain chemical drugs. i'm sceptical because i have seen a lot of people substitute the drugs for therapy and more long-term coping skills.

my sister, who has terrible OCD in addition to our shared cptsd, is currently hooked on benzos (klonopin) and pops s.s.r.i's like tictacs. she's also a low functioning alcoholic who thinks it's funny that she's been lying to her therapist for 15 years.

the conspiratorial part of my brain (fellow ptsd ladies, i know you hear me!) wants me to think that it's just another money making trap in the giant pyramid scheme that is capitalism. my inner optimist hopes that the people who develop these things really think they're helping and just don't understand the potential revenge effects.

Honestly if a therapist can't clock an alcoholic, I'd be concerned. When I was a high functioning heroin addict, I fooled my therapist and psychiatrist for over a year. They had no clue even though I was very obviously a junkie lol

I haven't been back since going to rehab 6 years ago bc I'm still shocked at how fucking dumb both those men were

it's pretty amazing. she knows all the things to say. she cancels appointments when she's been on a long drunk and only goes when she's looking healthy-ish. people didn't believe me when i would talk about it, so i finally started taking people with me to her house in the middle of the day for my welfare checks. it's really hard to be passed out on the kitchen floor with your pants off at 11 in the morning. once i went to get my niece at 7am and she was already staggering drunk. like holding on to the hallway drunk.

she probably hasn't been to therapy for a hot minute, though. she's been looking like a walking corpse for the last 3 years. our granny died from alcoholism and it's like watching that all over again. every couple of months i get a stream of abusive text messages for 8 - 12 hours but mostly we leave eachother alone. i spend time with her kids, i wait in the driveway for them to come out of the house.

congrats, btw, on your sobriety. i was a high functioning opiates user for some time myself, many moons ago. it was tough to walk away, but i'm glad i did. and glad you did too.