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[–] NoDayForADo 11 points Edited

I have never been comfortable going braless. I've actually tried to convince myself I was, because so much fuss is made about it... but I feel saggy and unsupported braless. I had tuberous boobs and it's just how I am.

But there are other marks of womanhood I hate. I am so uncomfortable in dresses/skirts, and I HATE make-up... i don't even own make-up now. And yet there was a time when I was younger I wouldn't leave the house without it.

If I have a dress on, I can't WAIT to get home and get out of it. Does this mean I'm trans?

I'm the same re bras. Ironically I was a late developer and was desperate for a bra long before I actually needed much support, and insisted on all my clothes being designed to cover bra straps when I could easily have gone without! A younger family member had commented that I was getting 'boosies" and I was self-conscious but also wanted to be like the other girls in my class. Once they kicked in properly I went through a brief braless phase before switching to underwired t-shirt bras (which were a thing - they looked natural but gave you support and control. I miss those!). I have always had heavy rather pendulous breasts even as a young woman and I vastly prefer how I feel in a bra.

Oh my goodness I had an uncle who used to make comments about my boobies growing and always asked if I had a boyfriend and it was so gross. I hated him

Ew! Fortunately I only had innocent child observations and that was embarrassing enough.

I was at school with girls whose mothers wouldn't allow them to have bras because they were "too young" even though the poor things were sporting a good C cup at 12 and forced to wear granny-style spencers instead. Suffice it to say it didn't make them look any less mature.

If I have a dress on, I can't WAIT to get home and get out of it. Does this mean I'm trans?

absolutely. If you were okay with a dress some days, but not others, you'd be genderfluid.

[–] dotconnectr 15 points Edited

Years ago I was late for work one day and people thought that either I had the flu or my husband beat me up. I realized none of them had a clue what I actually looked like and I'm a fundamentally honest person so that bothered me. I ran out of fucks many years ago & I'm at the point where I have no interest in relationships. If I ever feel the need to slap on warpaint or shave at some point in the future, I'm not sure I'd remember how. I will occasionally wear a bra, but comfort is the priority.

I realized none of them had a clue what I actually looked like

Yes! Authenticity for the win. Women are beautiful AS IS

Yeah. Had a whole day of people asking me if I was feeling all right. No, I just woke up late and forgot my slap!

Nowadays I really and truly cannot be arsed with it all.

Similar thing made me peak about makeup: I went to work one day without it and everyone thought I was sick ffs. I got comments all day long, "you look terrible" being the #1 comment from both women and men I worked with

I hate ppl lol

I relate, except for the bra part because now that I'm nursing, braless I pretty much look like that schoolteacher TIM with the sex toy prosthetics. :(

Omg I forgot about that dude for a second because it’s been a week or two since he was posted about here. Does anyone know what happened with that shit? Is that perv still wearing sex toys to class? #firehim #checkhisharddrive

I dropped the bra earlier this year. Can't recommend enough. Even my anxious chest pains are milder now.

[–] DarthVelma 4 points Edited

On the bra thing, in a perfect world each of us could just wear the amount of support we need for our comfort level and/or whatever activity we were engaged in at the time and everyone else would just leave us alone about it.

[–] BlooWasHere 14 points Edited

This is the blessing of being in my 30's.

I do still wear a bra, but it's because I feel physically more comfortable with it on (notably, though, it is a sports bra. I haven't worn an underwire in YEARS.)

I rarely shave my legs, like maybe once a month or so. I do wear makeup out and about a handful of times a month, but I don't bother with the full glam stuff. Just foundation and mascara. My hair is clean and combed, but I was never able to do anything much fancier to it than a side braid or a headband, and I'm probably not going to learn now. I only wear stretchy (but decently fitting, black) pants or skirts, because I don't have the time or money to adjust my wardrobe whenever my weight fluctuates.

It's not even about making a statement, or that I've fallen into a life of frumpiness...I've just gotten to the age where I don't care if men find me attractive or not anymore; in fact, such attention would not be welcome. I think that I look put together and look like I respect myself, but I'm not going out of my way with the frills these days.

100%

I won't go out in public without a bra bc I have Gcups and I don't want to invite perverts comments. But at home? All day long. I can't be bothered with shaving or makeup. I keep up a simple, inexpensive skin care routine appropriate for my age about 5 nights a week

After a while of not wearing makeup (foundation/concealer), your skin tone seems to adjust hugely and you don't look ill. This seems particularly true if you have paler skin. Foundation was causing me to be pale and sickly.

Do you think it really does change, or we just get used to how it looks? I noticed the same on myself since I stopped putting any tinted anything on my face but I don't know if it's just I'm used to it now or if it really did look worse before in its natural state?

No it really does change - most foundation I've come across in the EU contains titanium dioxide and loads of other nano-nasties, that help reflect light and give the skin a 'dewy' look, but are heavy metals and carcinogens that dry out the skin and cause it to look dull over time.

[–] DoomedSibyl 1 points Edited

Thank you for this. It explains a lot. I stopped wearing makeup except for special occasions years ago when I got mortally ill. Not even remotely a priority when you’re in the hospital and once I was better, I’m still disabled. My skin looks better without the makeup I used to wear as an unquestioned part of workplace grooming. I’m finding that I’m aging a little better than contemporaries who have to keep up with the female grooming expectations. It’s not as bad as the arsenic in the Elizabethan makeup, but it definitely does seem to do something negative. Thank you for the information.

That's really interesting and makes so much sense, thank you. I stopped the foundation two years ago and I get a lot of compliments on my natural skin now. I don't feel any need for it now. I still slap on the eye make-up though.

Foundation was causing me to be pale and sickly

Yep! Congrats on your freedom

2 and 3, absolutely. But y’all are wearing badly fitting bras if they’re not making you happy. Go to a nice store and get fitted!

Yeah, if you’re anything above a D cup, a well fitting bra is much more comfortable than going braless! Smaller breasts can do fine unsupported but having a big bust can really make your neck, shoulders and back ache.

Why would a bra, even a fitted one, make women happy?

For many of us it's a lot more comfortable than no bra. Braless is actually extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant for me. Currently wearing soft triangle racing back bras and they are lovely to wear.

[–] otterstrom 3 points Edited

I guess I just don’t understand it. I wonder if it’s just a physics thing or if it’s just it feels more uncomfortable because they are swinging and you feel self-conscious or exposed or if it’s a psychological thing. I just think breasts were meant to hang naturally and I can’t understand how restriction is lovely to wear

Why wouldn’t comfortable clothes make someone happy? I’m much more comfortable wearing bras than not.

I know what size I am. I hate underwires and can’t stand to wear them now. I used to be able to tolerate them no problem... I even slept in my bras.

I hate my boobs being constricted so much now that it’s uncomfortable to even wear a sports bra... and yes, I’ve tried different sizes for those too, trust me.

Women survived millennia without bras. Why are you encouraging women to conform to patriarchy here?

Also, I want to add: I have bigger boobs. It did hurt a bit when I first stopped wearing a bra. But that passed.

Wearing a bra is not “conforming to the patriarchy” unless you personally are wearing a bra to “look good for men” or whatever. My bust is so large that I have been looking into a reduction for chronic back pain. Wearing a well-fitting bra is a necessity for me in order to not be in a huge amount of pain.

Wearing comfortable clothes is conforming to patriarchy now? I’m large and going braless is very uncomfortable for me - not everyone’s experience I know, but certainly mine. Women survived millennia without ibuprofen too, but I’m not giving that up either lol

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