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[–] Ginger 45 points Edited

The saddest thing is the whole "she's just using her tears to manipulate me" narrative is pushed on LITERAL TODDLERS.

I've heard so many parents go "oh, I don't even believe her anymore when she cries." Ummm, maybe she's crying because she's THREE and still getting a grasp on her human emotions (and waving away your daughter's feelings instead of teaching her how to actually express/ stand up for herself? Geez, I can't imagine that will have any negative implications later on down the road!)

Funny how so few parents will wave away their sons' tears as "manipulative."

Ugh, a female relative said I was “spoiling” my infant niece because I picked her up as soon as she cried and I was “training her” to cry for attention. Well, yeah, that’s the whole fucking point, they cry to let you know they need/want attention and you give them attention, that’s literally how babies work. She’s supposed to cry when she wants attention.

And then they roll their eyes when we point out that this bullshit starts in infancy. YOU DO IT TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTERS WILLINGLY.

I really hope you told them that. I would rip somebody's head off if they said that about my niece.

I sure did, although I was nicer about it. My MIL loves to call people out though and she wasn’t as nice about it, and I didn’t feel a lick sympathy for her 🤷‍♀️

I think it begins even earlier than that. I've read about how parents will let their infant daughters cry for longer than their sons.

It's absolutely fucking disgusting that people's hatred of the female goes so deep they punish baby girls for existing.

[–] drinkwater 67 points Edited

I feel the need to point out, that women's pain and suffering is entertainment for society, especially men. All porn is full of women crying. You can find confrontation videos of women getting "owned" or assaulted because she's a "Karen". Women's tears is women's pain, and for men women's tears is what they use to get off. I don't give one shit about men's tears, not when ours are for sale.

Everything you said is 100% true and I'm using that last line whenever I encounter ppl saying I should care about "men's feelings uwu"

Growing up, my mom would literally laugh at me when I would cry. When I was younger though, I was simply slapped to shut up instead.

Why do men think they're the only ones who aren't allowed to cry? Can they step out of their bubble and learn that the "comfort the crying woman" is a media trope and doesn't happen as often in the real-fucking-world? Because IIRC, female patients are deemed more often as "hysterical" when they enter the ER with the same conditions as male patients, they have to wait longer, and they are given mere sedatives whereas male patients are listened to and given actual painkillers. You can look this up, Harvard did this study and addressed the sexism.

Women get accused of being manipulative if they cry (hence the term "White Woman Tears"). But we also get shit on for NOT crying in certain situations.

The Amber Heard trial is a good example. When she held it together, she was painted as an emotionless ice queen. When she did cry, people said her tears were fake and made memes out of her weeping face.

We literally cannot win

[–] LovelyJubbly 1 points Edited

"Men have it harder because women are already assumed to be weak and irrational"

That's the argument.

Any stigma they face is a fraction of what women do for showing emotion. Our emotions are used by men as "proof" that women can't handle leadership positions and that the "degradation" of society is due to women just starting to appear in those roles.

Men are saying with their whole chest in front of cameras, on front of live audiences.

Crying men are seen as feminine, as "beta", and that's why they don't like it. Anything that moves them closer to women horrified them because they know they are considered inferior, and free game to make fun of.

Women get dismissed as hysterical when we cry, men lose what little respect they may have had for us. Men say they are mocked for showing emotion, but women are looked down on for it.

Both men and women are deemed weak for crying, but women are already seen as weak and treated with distain, so it’s less obvious.

For a man to be seen as weak (like a silly, emotional woman) is an insult to his ego, the irony being that nothing is as fragile as the male ego. Men are far more emotionally and mentally weak that women, if you ask me.

Men are shamed for crying BECAUSE crying is associated with women

Yes! Women are assumed to be emotional, just because they’re women. For men, the biggest insult is to be compared to a lowly woman :/

[–] no- 26 points

What about men’s anger and violent outbursts? They’re not rational or logical, and unlike crying, they’re damaging.

I don't know about you all, but in my house, NO ONE was "allowed" to cry. We all got relentlessly made fun of for shedding tears. We were told "you're fine" "it didn't hurt so much" "you better stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" etc etc. We were also told relentless about how women cry to manipulate and "win" an argument. I shut down that part of myself and didn't cry for decades.

My parents used to do this thing where they'd spank us and if we started crying right away, we'd get more swats because clearly, we were just being dramatic and manipulative. But then, if we held it together and didn't cry, they continued to hit us because obviously we weren't getting the message/being rebellious/whatever.

I'm not going to get into the whole debate on whether you should or shouldn't spank (although I don't think kids ever deserve to be hit, personally), but ffs, if you are absolutely going to spank them, don't pull this bullshit on them. It's cruel.

And this is how we get to grow up without the capacity to even scream.

Jesus, that hits hard. I don't scream. I don't know if I've ever screamed. Maybe as a young child, I guess.

Damn.

Lmao didn't expect to be quoted 😭. But Fr I wasn't allowed to show any emotion as a child that wasn't "pleasant" and that rly messed up my emotional regulation. This is sadly very common for a lot of Indian women in the way we are bought up. The whole "you're fine" is such a huge thing!

I always want to laugh when they say women can cry! If we cry we are "hysterical", manipulative, too emotional, too sensitive, incapable of logic and reason...

If a man cries HE IS SEEN AS A WOMAN!

I was told to pull myself together and stop crying at my friends funeral.

[–] LilOvaries 6 points Edited

Another male thinking he's being oppressed because women don't want to have sex with him, or annoying males just like him (so most men).

Thank goodness they die faster because these males are annoying like some damn flies.

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