More
91

23 comments

[–] Hopscotch 36 points

"Queer" will never not be a slur to me. It's like the N word.

A friend of mine recently decided to end her het marriage and date women. Now it's all "queer" this and "gay" that. Like honey, chill. You're a bisexual woman same as me. No need to shave half your head and adopt other identities. I really think a lot of this is unloved people desperate to feel special

[–] pennygadget 20 points

I really think a lot of this is unloved people desperate to feel special

Its also boring people wanting to feel "oppressed"
[–] Nediljka_Orwell 17 points

I hate to say it, (and it's tough to articulate clearly what I mean without ruffling some feathers- I hope I'm successful here!) but "cool sex with females" has been sold to a straight female market now. Through porn and pop culture. Through sex pozz libfeminism too. And females are buying it and trying it for themselves.

We've been turned into consumable commodities for each other now. Not just men anymore.
[–] pennygadget 5 points

You're not wrong. Even before "qweer" shit took over everything, a lot of girls fell into the trap of claiming to be bisexual and making out with other girls at parties in order to titillate scrotes
[–] Luckystar 11 points Edited

Yep. If you ask people why they insist on saying queer instead of gay or lesbian they'll say it's more "inclusive". But inclusive of what? LGB includes all people who experience same sex attraction. Everything after the B is just straight people.

People get stuck on "inclusion" because it has a strong positive connotation in the USA, I think largely due to the history of racial segregation. Obviously being inclusive to all races is a normative good.

But you can't just change the target of "inclusion" and carry over that previous good will. Easy, obvious example -- An elementary school should never be "inclusive" of pedophiles/sex offenders. You don't have to go to that extreme to understand why "inclusive" isn't always objectively a good thing... universities and companies are "exclusionary" to the overwhelming majority of applicants because they would not be able to function if they accepted 100% of people who applied.

Terms lose their meaning when they become "inclusive" of their antonyms. The term vegan will never be "inclusive" of meat eaters. The term Muslim will never be "inclusive" of Christians. This isn't normatively or morally wrong, it's literally just terms having meanings.

The term "queer" exists to make LGB "inclusive" of straight people. But then when you include straight you end up with 100% of the population. So all you've done is make the category meaningless. "Queer" is a meaningless term.

In a way I guess it could be a good idea to defang slurs by making them completely meaningless, but it's not at all helpful when people say "queer" when they mean gay, lesbian or bisexual. It just erases those groups of people
[–] Philogynist [OP] 6 points

This is why I don't like "queer". I actually don't mind the whole "slur reclaimation" thing. If homosexual people generally wanted to refer to themselves as queer instead of "LGB" I don't care. But that's not how the term is used—it's used as you say, to make gay spaces, activism, etc. inclusive to het or het leaning people.

Also great examples!
[–] Atlasisawoman 1 points

Reminds me of a white woman who is an influencer I used to like. She dates only men and thirsts over TIMs but since she’s bi she says “her people” are being killed (referring to gay rights) and since being white isn’t oppressed enough, her 8% Cherokee heritage now means “her people” are being killed.

It’s ok to just be yourself. You don’t have to be every flavor of Victim
[–] FlannelRiot 13 points Edited

I never understood why, all of a sudden maybe within the last 10ish years or so, Queer was “reclaimed”. The words history is quiet dark and I’d never want to be associated with anything related to it. So why do all these young kids?

Whatever happened to just using gay or bi? Is it because they’ve made up a ba-jillion fake gender identities so now they need an all-encompassing umbrella label? Why not just make up something new. Why take something that was used as a slur towards gay and bi people and “reclaim” it?

I feel like most of the kids shouting “I’m queer!” have no idea of its actual meaning or history. Why the hell would you want to refer to yourself with a word that literally just means: strange; odd.
[–] sylviasmushrooms 19 points

Why the hell would you want to refer to yourself with a word that literally just means: strange; odd.

Because the worst thing a narcissist can imagine is being ordinary.

[–] FlannelRiot 8 points

Oooh riiiight. I keep forgetting a majority of them are narcissists 😂
[–] assignedpooratbirth trans-wealthy 15 points Edited

They go for the word queer because it has no definition and it doesn’t make them confront the fact that they’re really just a “boring cishet,” it’s a ticket to the LGBTQIAXYZ club / oppression olympics, and because they’ve never had the word used to bully them. You can almost always tell someone had a cushy life growing up if they call him/herself a queer. Utterly bizzare… I wish they would at the very least stop calling actually LGB people queers.
[–] FlannelRiot 10 points

I do too. I'm a Lesbian. I don't want to be a part of their weird 75 genders club, leave me alone lmao.
[–] AdultHumanAurat 11 points

Tumblr has an amazing radfem/gc presence, you just have to go looking.

[–] Philogynist [OP] 4 points

Tumblr is how I found radfems! The population of us on there is enormous and growing every day.

[–] Novemberinthechair -7 points

Who called Bernie Sanders queer? I think this is supposed to be funny, yeah? It's a joke.
[–] Philogynist [OP] 27 points Edited

I'm not sure I understand so apologies if I'm explaining something to you you're already aware of here:

This was popularly used as a meme format a year or two ago. It's a still from a video he made in which he was "once again asking" for donations so he had a chance at winning the election against billionaire interests. People reblog it and change the bottom text around usually in reference to something else in a joking way (in this instance it's being called "queer"). Similar to how people would quote movie lines to each other in certain social situations in which the movie quote seemed humorously "fitting" for, back before social media was a thing.

So in this instance 12,000 people are annoyed with being called queer and are expressing that exhaustion and annoyance by passing around a meme thereby quoting a "fitting" Bernie Sanders line for this widespread social situation.

And that explains the vast majority of millenial meme humor

[–] sylviasmushrooms 14 points

I just wanted to say that this was a kind and thoughtful explanation and I would be very grateful if you’d typed this up for my benefit.

[–] Philogynist [OP] 6 points

Gosh, thank you—that's really kind of you to say! I was trying to be mindful that people are of different ages on here and humor is like a different language between generations, but also didn't know her age and didn't want to come across as condescending.

© Ovarit LLC
About Ovarit | Rules | Guidelines | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Bugs | License

“All space becomes male space unless females maintain a concerted effort to mark a space for themselves.” –Sheila Jeffreys