I mean... my armchair psychology degree tells me if people want to go this far out of their way to be unfuckable, then perhaps they're really just fuck-phobic and pretending to want sex because wanting sex is what normies do. So, in a way this is like saying "I'm normal, really! I just can't seem to find a partner."

Like, an asexual virgin male who says he won't have sex with anyone unless they're a supermodel; he wants to fit in with the guys, so he pretends his standards are really high.

these women tend to have enormous sexual hang-ups of all kinds. TMI time...

I have had sex with a few transmen and it was always awkward and difficult and very unfulfilling. they wanted to be the 'man' but often lacked experience, any sort of confidence, not to mention respect and tenderness for my body, capped off with palpable revulsion towards my female genitalia (and... I never get complaints. I know a lot of men can be vagina-repulsed because of socialisation, but tbh most of them were always eager to get up close and personal even if they didn't know what they were doing. with transmen it was noticeably different. they couldn't stay far enough away. given our shared female bodies, this was extremely hurtful). one of these transmen went out and bought herself the biggest strap on he could find - but wasn't especially interested in foreplay and didn't really want to give me head, but then got all butthurt when my unready body couldn't accommodate the dildo. the last experience I had basically ended in an assault because of how careless and callous the transman was, even though I'd explained it had been a long time since I'd had penetrative sex before we even got started. I am usually the 'receiver' in lesbian sex, but I have experience being the doer, and know full well the care that must be taken making a woman's body ready to receive penetration with a larger object if she's not in regular practice with it. it blew my mind that awful person seemed to have no concept of it. none of them were ever much for foreplay. one of them now has a femme 'girlfriend' who is basically just her emotional support live in companion while she goes out and fucks men in saunas (that's a common story in the community believe it or not). one, the one most personally abusive to me, disappeared. another is known for violently abusing every femme she has ever been with. and the last transprently hates women and will only date other transmen (and spent some of the time we hooked up putting down butches and sneering at them). there was also a very strange public incident where she kept staring at the butch I was dating at the time from across the room, culminating with tossing ice at her. incredibly bizarre.

another key peak moment for me was when I dared to post publicly about experiencing transmen's internalised misogyny during sex, only to get a 'call out' in my inbox from a newly minted 'nb' dating a transman (who, surprise surprise, was followed by rumours of abuse towards her ex) informing me that I was using terf rhetoric and would I like to have a discussion about it? I knew the dipshit boyfriend had sent her. and was so upset by this attempt to stop me from honestly naming what I sensed in my deepest intuition was occuring that I just responded with 'no, not really. I know what I experienced'. branded TERF in that moment.

femmes and other LB women being silenced about how we observe and experience misogyny being played out around us is par for the course now. we have too many insights to share.

Thanks for sharing your personal experience. The behavior you describe sounds truly bizarre and miserable and I'm sorry it's a thing. These people seem extraordinarily disconnected from their bodies (and other people's bodies). Hopefully, the experience has given you some tools to protect yourself.