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41 comments

[–] turbo-goat 21 points (+21|-0) Edited

This was a huge part in my peaking journey. I first learned about gender dysphoria in my psychology classes back in the early 2000's, and it was still a mental illness mostly limited to HSTS's. In severe cases of dysphoria (after other options were exhausted), transition was recommended to ease mental distress.

I was sympathetic to TRA's, so I accepted I should play along and pretend someone was whatever "gender" they said they were to make them comfortable.

But then it wasn't enough to just play along. You had to literally accept someone was the opposite sex just because they said so. And the old wisdom was if you weren't sure how someone wanted to be referred to, you should just ask. Suddenly, that wasn't good enough either. It wasn't their job to educate the cis normies. You should just know their pronouns and how they identify, and if you get it wrong it's LITERAL VIOLENCE.

I did my best to be a good ally, and it was never enough. There was always more I needed to do to prove I wasn't transphobic, even control my very thoughts.

I sympathize with people with gender dysphoria. I want them to get the help they need. However, it's not my job to fix them. Me playing along with their delusions is clearly not going to help them, and I'm just enabling their self destructive behavior by pretending to see them as something they aren't.

They can keep moving the goalposts all they want, but I'm done lying. Once you start lying, they expect you to peddle even bigger lies, and in the end everyone loses. Like OP said, it's never enough!

[–] WynningIt 2 points (+2|-0)

I totally agree. This is very similar to my own experiences.