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41 comments

[–] Roseelesbian 3 points (+3|-0)

This is honestly sad. So wonder the trans suicide rate is so high. I would want to die too if my mental illness was romanticized so far to the point that I couldn't stand my own existence.

Dude, you're a male. You were born that way and will die that way. You can live your life however you want as a male. Just accept who you are and move on with your life.

[–] Julie92845 1 points (+1|-0)

Yes. Yes you do. Everyone has to accept that you can’t control the thoughts of others.

How do you get to the point when you can write this and not feel like you are absolutely insane?

okey this is depressing.... I looked up "misgendering me in their heads" in twitter and you wouldn't belive how prevalent this though is.... it would never be enought for these people.

[–] shveya 3 points (+3|-0)

They're such thought police. I've never seen a group of people try so hard to dictate what goes on in other people's minds.

[–] Jade 3 points (+3|-0)

... so you're saying I have to accept that though I identify as famous, people will keep on not following my 438-follower last-updated-in-July-2020 Instagram account? LiTteRaL viOLeNcE!

[–] KBash 11 points (+11|-0) Edited

This is the entire point: you cannot control how others view you; identity is a two-way street because we live in a society with other people and that society makes decisions for us and shapes our decisions; material reality exists and there are other people who will always acknowledge it outwardly, and everyone, even if secretly, acknowledges it inwardly; it is a quixotic quest to believe you can actually change sex; it’s better to understand yourself to be physically and socially transitioning into a facsimile of a woman or into something specific - the trans woman- than into an actual woman, for the sake of both a coherent community for you, and your own mental health.

Why should any of this be controversial?

[–] turbo-goat 21 points (+21|-0) Edited

This was a huge part in my peaking journey. I first learned about gender dysphoria in my psychology classes back in the early 2000's, and it was still a mental illness mostly limited to HSTS's. In severe cases of dysphoria (after other options were exhausted), transition was recommended to ease mental distress.

I was sympathetic to TRA's, so I accepted I should play along and pretend someone was whatever "gender" they said they were to make them comfortable.

But then it wasn't enough to just play along. You had to literally accept someone was the opposite sex just because they said so. And the old wisdom was if you weren't sure how someone wanted to be referred to, you should just ask. Suddenly, that wasn't good enough either. It wasn't their job to educate the cis normies. You should just know their pronouns and how they identify, and if you get it wrong it's LITERAL VIOLENCE.

I did my best to be a good ally, and it was never enough. There was always more I needed to do to prove I wasn't transphobic, even control my very thoughts.

I sympathize with people with gender dysphoria. I want them to get the help they need. However, it's not my job to fix them. Me playing along with their delusions is clearly not going to help them, and I'm just enabling their self destructive behavior by pretending to see them as something they aren't.

They can keep moving the goalposts all they want, but I'm done lying. Once you start lying, they expect you to peddle even bigger lies, and in the end everyone loses. Like OP said, it's never enough!

[–] WynningIt 2 points (+2|-0)

I totally agree. This is very similar to my own experiences.

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