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36 comments

[–] gentoo 2 points (+2|-0)

Most they/he lesbians I've met are just gender non-conforming women who are uncomfortable with female gender stereotypes and think preferring masculine aesthetics makes them a different gender.

It's always weird to me that they defend their lesbian identity so adamantly. Like, aren't you just admitting that despite the pronouns, you're just a woman who likes other women?

[–] PlainSimpleTailor 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

I mean, if you see through the gender bullshit, it's not that hard to explain. They're awfully transparent once you really listen to them. The non-binary identity seems to attract primarily women who want to escape misogyny and be treated like a complete person, and what better way to say "I don't care what you see me as, as long as it's not woman" than to use they/he pronouns? And if these women are also homosexual, they'll probably feel even more alienated by society, which either fetishizes or demonizes wlw attraction, so that's one more reason to distance yourself from your womanhood. At the same time, these women know that straight male spaces are not a great place to be for women, and many also "started out" as regular lesbians before claiming trans status, so they're reluctant to leave the lesbian community. It makes sense, women enjoy and seek the company of other women because it's safer. And what happens when you want to stay in a (at least formerly) female-only space and be treated and seen as a fellow female by women, but not by men? A they/he lesbian.