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89 comments

[–] BeninBronze 49 points (+54|-5) Edited

It’s insane how much the TRAs weaponize suicide as if it’s an inevitable outcome caused by an external force. And they are so inconsistent! Are trans people commuting suicide because the people around them don’t accept them or is it because of the “mismatch” between their body and brain? It’s just an excuse to manipulate people to act a certain way around then and also to justify the grotesque surgeries and hormone therapies they choose to undergo.

A diabetic or cancer patient would literally die without medical treatment because their body would fail despite their will to live. I recently had a family member take their own life and through the painful aftermath of it all, it’s become clear to me that suicide is ultimately a choice that one makes. People with real diseases don’t have a choice.

[–] NotCis 12 points (+22|-10)

I can't agree with that. Mental illness, including suicidality, is not a choice. Major depression and other mental disorders are deadly, treatment doesn't always work (and some anti-depressants even INCREASE the risk of suicide), and suicide is a result of that illness. I'm very sorry you lost a family member to suicide.

[–] Tnetennba 23 points (+29|-6) Edited

Hard disagree. Your rhetoric 100% supports what TRAs are saying. Yes, it's absolutely devastating and it's incredibly difficult to seek and receive appropriate help, but it's still a choice. No otherworldly external force is making people kill themselves. It's harsh, it's ugly, it's blunt, it's "mean" but it's the truth.

Edit: one of the hardest mental health lessons to learn is that you CANNOT outsource your resiliency to other people. You can't just deny any responsibility on your part. You can ask for support and advice, but you cannot rely on other people to do the hard work for you.

And if it truly ISN'T a choice, every single person with a depression diagnosis should immediately be put under 24/7 surveillance in a hospital somewhere. They might suddenly die at any time and we have no idea why, because apparently it isn't a choice.

I just think about the pedophiles that kill themselves before their trials. Was that a choice? Women who kill themselves before they could be captured by enemy forces, was that a choice? Or were these people so out of control of their actions that SOMEHOW they ended up dead?

[–] WynningIt 6 points (+6|-0)

That doesn't make any sense. Depression is a spectrum. Some people with depression are suicidal, some have suicidal ideation and some have neither. I had debilitating depression for nearly a decade. I never attempted suicide in that time, because I wasn't suicidal. It's not because i just chose not to.

And just because someone can chose suicide for reasons other than depression (such as your examples), that doesn't then mean a depressed person just chooses it. I think we need to get away from this idea that suicide is ALWAYS the result of depression.

[–] TinyAngryLesbian 22 points (+25|-3)

From the perspective of someone who has attempted suicide, I have to disagree with you here. The depression and anxiety I was experiencing may not have been within my control but the decision to try to kill myself was just that, a decision. If suicide were an inevitable thing for people who are distressed, how can you possibly help them? Yes certain treatments may not help and can in fact make the urge to kill oneself greater, but the desire to die is very different than the active decision to kill yourself. That is why depressed people, as well as gender dysphoric people, need a healthy balance of therapy (that does not couch reality to them) and a supportive network of friends and family who do the same.

We can have sympathy for people who are struggling with suicide without pretending it poses the same immediate threat to one's life that lack of insulin does to a type I diabetic or someone battling breast cancer.

[–] BeninBronze 19 points (+19|-0)

Thank you for your condolences.

I realize that the way I talked about suicide came off as too harsh. I certainly acknowledge that bad mental health, depression, and trauma can cause a person to feel that they don’t have another choice. It just grinds my gears how much TRAs use suicide as a tool to further their agenda instead of putting their resources into suicide prevention for the vulnerable people in their community.

[–] NotCis 17 points (+19|-2)

I agree completely. Using suicide as a manipulative tool is a whole other ballgame and it's awful.

[–] Tnetennba 13 points (+17|-4)

It's not too harsh, people are simply too icked out by these discussions to look at them critically.

It's a choice. That's the very ugly, very disturbing truth.

[–] shewolfoffrance 7 points (+8|-1)

The thing is, people who threaten suicide to manipulate their families do need mental health intervention. They don't need to get whatever they want, right when they want it.

[–] bornwithovaries 19 points (+21|-2)

I've been suicidal. I attempted one of those times. It's a choice.

Especially in situations like when a man wipes out his entire family and then kills himself to evade responsibility.

I hate the phrase "died by suicide." Suicide is not a ghost hovering over you who does the stabbing or shooting or pill dunking or whatever. YOU did that.

People will get angry that I said all this, and that's fair. It's how I feel regardless.