[–] banjo 11 points (+11|-0) Edited

A big part of the fantasy is just the idea of finding a man who "knows what he's doing" and can take away the stress of being a grown up. But it's a fantasy. Even if you find one that's not abusive, you will still have to make sure for yourself that the doors are locked at night and the bills are paid on time and so on. You still have to continually decide for yourself what is or isn't smart or good or worthwhile. That should be obvious but I didn't even consciously know I wanted that, until I got some experience (and would always feel like "ok I can't hand the reins to this one but if I could just find a mature one that knows what I need...) I think it explains a lot of common fantasies about older men, teachers, even "bad boy/rebel" archetypes.