[–] [Deleted] 4 points (+4|-0)

I'm convinced I might've shaved a few years off my life from the sheer anxiety alone of telling my woke friends I desisted. Thankfully most of my IRL friends are 'terfs', and were happy I'd finally learned to love myself in that sense. But my online friends are woke and I only told one of them about desisting. Heart racing and sweating the entire time. She reacted okay-ish. She didn't really say much at all, and I took that as a win over her calling me a bigot. The other is still trans identified and I know for a fact it wouldn't go well if I brought it up, so I just don't talk to her anymore.

[–] Proserpina 20 points (+20|-0)

Seriously, we should have o/ItsACult to complement o/ItsAFetish. Would be great to have all the evidence in one place.

[–] hufflepuff-poet 14 points (+14|-0)

This is such a good idea actually. Might be a great resource when everyone starts peaking and trying to figure out wtf happened!

[–] ThemysciraSteel 10 points (+10|-0)

It’s almost like the woke exist in a narcissistic family dynamic: golden child vs scape goat

[–] pennygadget 24 points (+24|-0)

This shit is why I believe detransition numbers are WAY higher than we think. Detransitioning is stressful enough without the added turmoil of being shunned by your friends and demonized by TRAs on social media.

remember the ma'ampage over the 60 minutes bit even suggesting they were going to address detransitioning? lmao

[–] [Deleted] 14 points (+14|-0)

It definitely is. Any attempts to collect data on detransitioners and desisters gets shut down and deplatformed. Even if you didn't medically transition (and I feel terrible for those that did), there is a lot of emotionally exhausting soul searching that has to happen just to desist. It takes you to some dark places and makes you face harsh truths about things you once thought. I myself had to come to terms with just how deep my internalized misogyny went. I had to acknowledge how much I held maleness on a pedestal. I had to let go of a lot of the resentment I held for being born female and realize that the way people treat me because of my biology isn't my fault. And it didn't mean I was born wrong.

[–] arylcyclohexie 15 points (+15|-0) Edited

this is 10000% accurate and one of the bigger reasons why i feel like i was in a cult :)

i was never actively part of the trans community because i didn't tell anyone, only special close people... so i never experienced this loving community thing because i was sceptical of groups as a teenager. i didn't want anyone to know 12 years ago because it was a totally different climate. i didn't know a single other trans kid in school or have any trans friends. (DON'T tell me this isn't a social contagion omg!!!!) i feel really sad for the people who had large, "loving" communities, or found a space they finally felt people would accept them in...

that said, i am definitely getting shit from some people now, including people who aren't trans or lgbt-washed. they want to veer away from me. people who i cannot understand why it's so offensive for me to be detrans. trans people i can least understand why they are getting mad, even if it's COMPLETELY offensive for THEM to be mad about this. lol

someone pointed out earlier that normies probably resist the detrans because that would mean their blind, unquestioning support and encouragement caused someone real and actual harm. unsurprised they'd rather avoid confronting it.

[–] pennygadget 24 points (+24|-0) Edited

-"Your gender identity is valid and anyone who questions it is literally trying to kill you"

-"I'm a detransitioned woman"


[–] RumHam 14 points (+14|-0)

So cult like, shunning and attacking ex members. I'm betting in a few years detransitioning is going to become the norm. So many young people are going to regret what they've done, and be mad about what the adults in their lives allowed to happen.

[–] [Deleted] 24 points (+24|-0)

And that is how you know it's a cult. Once you leave the cult you must be vilified and excommunicated, because your testimony is at risk of convincing others to leave and they can't have that

[–] itscallednyotaika 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

i wonder how otherkin and plurals and equivalent delusional identities handle someone coming to their senses.

[–] arylcyclohexie 12 points (+12|-0)

yes, they don't want my testimony because it would blow them out of the water and expose their ridiculousness to anyone who happens to be listening.

[–] ComplicatedSpirit 8 points (+8|-0) Edited

Even trying to stop detransitioners from talking to others on the outside. I know at least one academic study on detransitioners was shut down because TRAs raised hell about how these people shouldn’t be allowed to talk about themselves.

Cult Tactic #8: Do not talk to the apostate. Their mind has always been polluted. Instead, remember that your purpose is to protect the community from The Apostate. If you suspected The Apostate has been speaking to others concerning The Community (you must remember that everything The Apostate says is lies,) STOP THEM. Do not give The Apostate an opportunity to malign The Community, either to you or to anyone else. Do not communicate with The Apostate. Do not let the Apostate gain the opportunity to pollute you or others. 🙏 UwU 🙏

[–] pennygadget 22 points (+22|-0)

Its exactly like a cult. Going from being constantly love-bombed to being shunned mirrors the experiences of people who leave fundamentalist religious communities. Its a tactic to keep people from leaving

[–] [Deleted] 13 points (+13|-0)

Yes, and to keep people who have 'wrong thought' in the cult from speaking about their disagreement (which means that it can never get to a balanced nuanced place...bc that only happens through self reflection and discourse)

[–] Vita 40 points (+40|-0)

The trans hate detransitioners because it's a loss for their cult movement.

Normies, on the other hand, were told that supporting trans was the right thing to do. That this support put them on the right side of history. Telling them that transing actually harmed a person means telling them they were wrong, and that they participated in this hurtful thing.

[–] calming-tea 7 points (+7|-0)

I think some "normies" hate detrans because they put extra effort to be kind and pretend and now they are told their performance is for nothing.

Imagine someone asking you to lie every single day for years. Not just about pronouns, but putting a stop to your "wrongthink", creating a layer of toxicity in the social group where everyone is walking on eggshells for fear of misgendering or saying anything that could be interpreted as even slightly transphobic. After years of this, that person comes up to you and tells you that they got it wrong and actually what you did was harmful.

I support detransitioners and everything. But I think too often when we talk about mental health we forget how it must have been for those around.

Then again, I think the hate these detransitioners are talking about on twitter is more from cult members, rather than quiet supporters who are just "being nice"

[–] arylcyclohexie 8 points (+8|-0)

i haven't thought as much about the normies. thanks for the perspective

[–] Vita 17 points (+17|-0)

You'd be surprised how many gender-critical were once trans supporters. Seeing what happened to people who transitioned, and seeing them continue to have mental health issues (and new physical health problems) really made a lot of us think twice about whether transitioning is actually doing more harm than good.

[–] WAHF 34 points (+34|-0)

Cults aren’t really known for gracefully accepting it when members choose to leave.

[–] [Deleted] 75 points (+75|-0)

It's crazy because detrans are success stories. They've literally overcome the mental illness, transitioning was always a bogus attempt at life preservation built on pseudo science and the lack of care for the people.

[–] RadioLouder 14 points (+17|-3)

I disagree all detrans people are success stories. While they may have "overcome" their dysphoria (so to speak, and not true for all detransitioners anyway), they are also going to have life long effects of the shit the medical complex have pushed on them.

[–] [Deleted] 16 points (+16|-0)

I didn't say all detrans? Of course they'll have repurcussions, there's no mental illness that doesn't. You ruin your life, your body etc with whatever coping mechanisms you find. The issue with this is that it's sanctioned and supported by governments and the culture. And it's not just individuals with body dysmorphia, all mental illness seem to be cause for transitioning now. Especially because of the online culture and cultism what it does to vulnurable individuals, though you also have the deviant personality disorders taking advantage of this as well. It's not really a simple topic or idea but it is worth noting, that in terms of desiring or detransing these people have overcome a lot of brainwashing/mentally illness etc to get to the point where they realize they hurt themselves and it wasn't okay.

[–] KBash 1 points (+1|-0)

I agree with you.

People with bipolar disorder- particularly bipolar 1- regularly ruin their lives when in a manic state, if they don’t manage their condition. People with schizophrenia obviously can harm their own health and livelihood by not managing their condition, though the medications for schizophrenia are so harsh, that they need all the support they can get to stay healthy and relatively happy, whether they’re delusional or not, with the least amount of medication necessary, since they can have profound side effects (I think the way society tends to fail people suffering from severe mental illness is tragic and unforgivable). People with severe bipolar disorder also may have totally unmanageable lives and need to take powerful drugs with lots of side effects, and they need help, too.

Something like PTSD I don’t think of as a mental illness so much as a severe physical disease that also causes tremendous psychological distress. There’s no way you’re getting out of it without some damage to your body, simply because of how hard it is on your body; and many people with PTSD- as with any other mental illness- use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate. Prescription drugs to manage symptoms of PTSD can have lots of side effects, too.

Drug addiction is another disease, one with physical and mental components, which can devastate someone’s health.

If any of these people are able to control or stop having the symptoms, or using the drugs- they are a success story, regardless of any damage they may already have done.

It is so, so hard to overcome mental illness or addiction! It’s a minor miracle and a sign of incredible strength and/or luck.

So I fully agree with you. Detransitioners are a success story, physical damage or not. Especially with all of society propping up the delusion that you can change sex, it takes incredible mental strength to reject that narrative, as a person who has dysphoria, and who has transitioned; to go back on such a life-changing decision, and to question the narrative when most of society can’t- to admit to a mistake, in this of all situations, with absolutely all of society arrayed against you in your acknowledgement of the mistake- well, it’s not just successful. It’s nothing short of astonishing.

[–] arylcyclohexie 7 points (+7|-0)

yeah i agree.

there's the initial layer of mental illness and/or trauma that causes someone to transition which doesn't fix their problems at all. now they have to overcome the cult and what is a new mental illness, on top of the original which has definitely been exacerbated. then they lose all their friends and very often times they don't have much support anymore. right? the government doesn't even support us. it's hard to make it sound as much as it is. you have to reform your entire mind and world.

i think someone is successful for getting through any part of this. we will have scars forever but isn't being detrans rather than trans a success story? it's just really hard to feel like that when you're repercussions are dire. it is breaking out of a cult. i wish it was an exaggeration. it's hard to feel happy for any success. it's really hard to see people who haven't figured it out yet because i know they'll be hurting soon, too.

definitely, all mental illness can be a cause for transition now. totally not just body dysmorphia, even in 2012 peak tumblr years people could sneak by and still transition. what about all the websites telling you what to say to your doctor to get hormones? i was on tumblr at 13. i wasn't looking at trans blogs specifically but i would see trans posts from time to time... i was very mentally ill, vulnerable, and on the internet 24/7. it screwed me up. i never had much body dysmorphia until i found yaoi blogs then wanted to be a "pretty guy" because i felt subpar as a girl. i started noticing new insecurities about my body but because i already knew about trans, i put 2 + 2 together and thought that's why. instead of you know, just being a teenaged girl is really hard and boys weren't into me lol. i then bring autism into the mix omggg being mentally ill and online as a child is why i even thought possible to change sex. this topic does get a little bit complex

note: deleted comment was me. i said "yes" to "are you sure?" but i meant no. trying to edit for typos, i'm not great at typing :) said something like ""it's successful in that we woke up, but it's hard to feel like that or even bittersweet when you are missing a bunch of a body parts and it didn't have to happen"

[–] Archie 31 points (+31|-0) Edited

That's actually an excellent point. As long as they haven't permanently maimed themselves in the process, in which case the victory is bittersweet :/

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