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36 comments

[–] tacocat 63 points (+63|-0)

The "unshaved vagina" one made me think of my mom. She struggled with health problems for half her life. She had breast cancer in her mid 40s, then she was diagnosed with T2 diabetes, and finally she developed ovarian cancer in her 60s. She suffered so much and fought so bravely, but she died just before her 70th birthday. She was also very glamorous. She put on her makeup and wig and dressed up with heels whenever she left the house. I'm not saying that's the way a woman should be (I'm not like this); it's just how she was. She always looked nice. She encountered so many people who would say, "At least you look great!" or "At least you look young!" when they learned of her cancer diagnosis. She hated hearing that, as though her looks would make her feel any better.

There's so much more to life than performing femininity. My mom and I had a difficult relationship, but I loved her. We didn't agree on how women should present themselves, but she always told me to study hard and be independent. She wouldn't accept half-assed effort. I miss her every day. Thanks for reading my rant.

[–] Nediljka_Orwell 38 points (+38|-0)

Oh, that problematic body! It stubbornly resists porn standards of beauty & desirability!

Don't worry, gals. Biotech will satisfy your fashion and body modification needs. Spray this. Inject that.

And your shamefully fuzzy vulva? Keep it clean, and more importantly: keep it prepubescent.

Yeah, yeah: Sex positivity is power! It's feminism!

Good luck with that.

Oh, but if it ever becomes easy the standard will change! The whole point of beauty is for it to be unattainable (while seeming the opposite), resource intensive, and uncomfortable.

[–] Galko 28 points (+30|-2)

When I hear "hairy vagina," thanks to the woo-woo, I now don't think there's a woman out there who doesn't know her vulva from her vagina. No, now thanks to the gender woo, I'm completely OK thinking that's a man with the snip and flip, and his inverted junk is all hairy again. I don't know which is worse...

[–] calming-tea 26 points (+27|-1)

what? many women say vagina instead of vulva. it is not correct, but its extremely common

[–] legopants super terf 20 points (+20|-0)

Wanna "outsmart" the beauty industry? Stop fucking purchasing products from them. It actualy depresses me how heavily girls rely on makeup and other appearance altering bullshit. My friends and mom won't even leave the house without putting that toxic crap on.

[–] SamuraiGhostCat 18 points (+18|-0)

Wtf is a “botox lip flip”?! Sounds scary AF.

Jeez, these are all so sad... :(

[–] Chopu [OP] 13 points (+13|-0)

I just googled it. Apparently they inject botox to make your upper lip turn upwards. The site I looked at also listed out some of the potential side-effects. It sounds so scary:

  • drooling
  • difficulty forming certain words
  • the inability to spit or whistle
  • trouble keeping fluids in your mouth after drinking
  • drooping on one side of your mouth, similar to the appearance of a stroke
  • Botulism
[–] FeminineMistake 6 points (+6|-0)

Scary, and self-destructive, which are the most important parts, but these are also profoundly unattractive side effects. I get not liking thin lips, but ... drooling? Looking like you've had a stroke? In no universe is this better than healthy and unaltered thin lips.

[–] SamuraiGhostCat 1 points (+1|-0)

The shit that women & girls do for their appearance... no different than the corsets and foot-binding of the past. :(

[–] Chopu [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Plus we now also have libfems telling us to bE kiNd and not sHamE women's choices no matter how harmful they are. Ugh.

[–] girl_undone 14 points (+14|-0)

This helps show how obsessive and compulsive conforming to beauty standards can be for many women.

We have to break the norm by not complying. As more women stop complying, more women will be free to. Girls that are growing up have to see that not all their heroes comply.

I call it sweatpants feminism - push back against the patriarchy by being barefaced and hairy, and wearing clothing that's comfortable and practical whenever feasible. That's it. That's the whole thing.

It's uncomfortable at first, but once you get used to it it's great. I can fit an obscene number of things in my pockets, my feet never hurt from shoes pinching, and I openly make jokes about how my dirt 'stache is growing in... I am liberated.

[–] proudcatlady 13 points (+13|-0) Edited

Good grief. I think heels are very beautiful, but spraying your feet with numbing cream?? What on earth?

I also wonder if we can discuss who is enforcing these standards. I know men run and profit off of industries and companies that need women to wear heels and makeup, shave, and get plastic surgery. But down here on the day-to-day level, I generally see men discouraging women from doing this stuff, complaining that they prefer natural women. It seems more like other women celebrating the glamor and status associated with these accoutrements of femininity.

I hope what I’m saying is clear. I understand men are at the top profiting like crazy for this. But down here, they’ve really done a great job of making this seem like our idea, to the point that in some areas and cultures it can genuinely feel subversive and NOT appealing to the male gaze to wear heels, dresses, and lipstick.

The exception to this rule is shaving. NO ONE seems to want us hairy.

[–] Chopu [OP] 20 points (+20|-0) Edited

But down here on the day-to-day level, I generally see men discouraging women from doing this stuff, complaining that they prefer natural women.

Based on what I have observed, most men are thinking of the 'no makeup' makeup look when they say natural. They don't actually know what natural women even look like. So, when they claim to dislike women with makeup, they are usually referring to blue eyeshadow and dark lipstick. Same thing for plastic surgery. They say they hate plastic women but then also love actresses with tiny rhinoplasty noses and subtle injections and implants. Actions speak louder than words. I feel like so many men just say that they love natural women in order to sound classy but hardly ever go for the unshaven, bare-faced women.

It seems more like other women celebrating the glamor and status associated with these accoutrements of femininity

Yeah, it is definitely true that women play a huge role in enforcing beauty standards :(

in some areas and cultures it can genuinely feel subversive and NOT appealing to the male gaze to wear heels, dresses, and lipstick.

I feel, in the 21st century, those are the exceptions though. In most cases, performing femininity is conforming rather than subversive. Lol I grew up in a Muslim family and was raised in places like India and the Middle East and even there, there was a huge pressure to perform femininity. Sure, they don't like short skirts but they also discourage tomboys and want you to wax your legs and have long hair and wear jewelry and some makeup and pretty dresses.

[–] LOriginedumonde 11 points (+11|-0)

The exception to this rule is shaving. NO ONE seems to want us hairy.

I stopped shaving my pubic hair years ago when I was 17 and every single man that I’ve been with since then has gone absolutely crazy like…crazy over it. It pains me to hear my friends say “it looks really good on you but I could never pull it off” as if were a fashion choice and not something that’s completely natural for everyone. I’m hoping that the ‘bare down there’ trend will die off in the next decade. I’m married but if I was single I could never be with a man who cared about any body hair on a woman, the ones who do exude such a lack of maturity.

[–] RikkiTikkiTavi 4 points (+4|-0)

I am currently in recovery from a surgery that required me to be in a very undignified spread eagle crotch to the sky position so they could get to my urethra (my first interaction with a women's hospital and I must say, going to a place that specializes in women is totally the way to go) - anyway, I do not shave my crotch and I will not shave.

The most I did was trim out the longer hairs that might have impeded them getting to the 'target'. After all, if a women's hospital doesn't know that women grow hair on their vulva then the world is really going down in flames.

Plus, with the 5 nurses and the doctor and the about half a dozen students who I consented to allow to 'observe' the procedure - I figured this football team of people should have an educational opportunity to see a wild and natural bush woman.

[–] IWantAGirlRiot 1 points (+1|-0)

I’ve never shaved my pubic hair! I literally had no idea people did that until I got to college, where I mostly hung out with women who didn’t shave at all. It just seems like a lot of hassle and nobody who has seen me naked has said a negative word about it.

[–] LOriginedumonde 0 points (+0|-0)

It was such a hassle and it makes the skin all bumpy which looks really bad and kind of gross because infected hair follicles are inevitable. I wish more women would realize that no one besides porn brained creeps care and a lot if not most people prefer unshaved vs shaved.

[–] HessaHein 8 points (+8|-0)

Sometimes it does feel weird to have a man say he is fine with your natural hair, skin, body, etc. Maybe women police other women's fashion as a way of self-soothing?

[–] Tabitha_Tuesday 12 points (+12|-0)

Numbing your body's pain signals while permanently deforming and damaging your feet.

Awful.

They're basically engaging in modern foot-binding, and strangely proud of it...

[–] winterghost 7 points (+7|-0)

i still find it really sad how women tell me they wish they could go out bare faced like i do.

[–] DebraKadabra 1 points (+1|-0)

Yeah, when my back starts hurting during a workout I just slather myself in numbing cream so I can keep deadlifting. I can't see how this will go wrong.