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16 comments

[–] notyourfetish 23 points (+25|-2)

It amazes me how they get online and make these confessions like women don't already know.

I know that you think you can get away it with. That's why I teach every man who tries me that there are consequences to his actions. Oh, you want to harass me on the bus? Well, I'll just take out my smartphone and snap some pictures of you and send those on to the police. . . . Tell them your daily bus route and that you were sexually harassing me because you thought I was helpless to stop you. See how you like that.

I have had so many dudes back away, hands in the air, because suddenly they realize "Oh no! I might actually have to answer for terrorizing this woman on the bus!"

No shit men do this stuff because they know they can.

And what do they expect from us when they acknowledge it? Asspats and sympathy? You hurt and terrorize women for fun because you can. You're a monster, bro. I don't pity you. And I don't want to "understand" the context of your inhumane behavior anymore than I wish to "understand" a serial killer.

[–] legopants [OP] super terf 20 points (+23|-3) Edited

Similar thing happened with my brother. He was basically in a rage for an absolutely batshit reason I'm not getting into. Anyway, pulled out my phone and started recording and you can tell the immediate mood switch, him now panicking yelling at me to stop recording, eventually calming down because oop your ridiculous asinine behavior is caught on tape. How embarrassing for you. I actually do this whenever a fight started in my family. They all look at the camera like "oh, i should probably chill" or thinking about how dumb they look.

And the note on serial killers, it amazes me how often people try to justify the male's behavior because "his mommy was mean to him as a kid" or "he didn't fit in with others :(" or any other dumb excuse, like cry me a fucking river. I was sexually and emotionally abused for years, grew up with a horrible father and family dynamic, and never hurt anyone because of it. I know many women with similar stories who've never hurt anyone. It drives me insane when they blame the mother for their son's actions.

Edit: ladies, can we please explain why we downvote comments like this and one above? Like to know your viewpoint.

[–] bellatrixbells 7 points (+12|-5)

My boyfriend used to film me when I would start crying or get angry so I could "sEe hOw dUmB i LoOk".

People calm down when you start filming them not because they "know they're in the wrong", but because they don't want you to be able to put the bad part up somewhere without giving any context. You're not solving anything by trying to humiliate people into calming down. And what's more, you're indicating that you are not interested in what they're trying to communicate, only in ridiculing what they're feeling at the moment by only considering their reaction.

Filming an unknown creep who's stalking you or sexually harassing you is one thing. Filming your family members, roommates, etc, in what should be a private environment because you think their anger or frustration is unjustified is another.

[–] legopants [OP] super terf 11 points (+11|-0) Edited

Yeah, when my brother is screaming at me calling me a c*nt over and over and telling me to shut up, for 100% no reason while slamming his fists against a dashboard, (yes, there were witnesses to what happened. he's in the wrong.) I'm going to film for my own safety. I don't give a fuck if that humiliates him. Maybe don't act like an overgrown toddler then? Maybe I don't like fighting and have ptsd due to it and the way I've found to stop fighting helps, so I do it? I'm also not going to listen to people who won't listen to me. I could scream at the top of my lungs and they won't listen. So yeah. I'm doing what I need to do. I'd never "share" that with anyone. I've never posted a video and never would. It a private matter, clearly, and I don't want others involves. I don't even keep them. It's to get people to calm the fuck down so we CAN communicate. Sorry that's so wrong in your eyes but I really don't care. It's not filming to show online an out of context argument.

[–] ComplicatedSpirit 8 points (+8|-0) Edited

HAE found themselves keeping really quiet in public, even when you’re unhappy, because you’re afraid someone is going to start filming you?

I was leaving a store recently and a guy approached me and started telling me that his mother was dying and he needed to get to hospital. Typical story for beggers, I told him no, I don’t carry cash, but he stood in my way and continued to tell me that his mother was dying and his car was out of gas, he needed money to get to hospital. I realized that every way I turned, he turned with me. He blocked me and wouldn’t let me get to my car, and it was getting dark and I was getting nervous. He wouldn’t shut up about his bullshit story about his stupid mother dying and how he needed stupid money for the casket now as well as the gas???

I did end up saying no again loudly, and at the point a second car rolled up and I looked at it like I expected it and stayed focussed on it, and with that he kept talking but quieter, but I walked towards this other car- I didn’t even know who they were- and I heard the door ring on the store’s door and he’d gone inside. Then I just went to my own car and took off. I was shaking. Why are they so insistent??

But there is always this fear that if I stand up for myself, that someone will whip out a phone and record me and claim that I was being a “b——-“ or a “karen” or something, towards some innocent person who would edit it on some way to make me look bad. Like I was just being mean to some homeless person or someone who just wanted help. Because I didn’t give them what they wanted, they’d have to get revenge on me somehow.

I’ve seen videos online in which a woman is decried as “being manipulative” or being a Karen” or just being an awful whatever, and sometimes it’s just a woman who’s clearly upset about a situation and someone else is deliberately goading her about it. One I saw was a woman asking this guy not to follow her and he keeps saying “I’m not following you” and she says “you were following me” and he says “I was never following you.” Of course the video didn’t show the following, why would a guy record himself following a woman? He’s the one holding the phone! She’s clearly ahead of him on the sidewalk, and she’s already visibly upset, and he clearly thinks the whole thing is funny, yet how many people who saw that thought the worst about her? Sometimes it’s just literally a still picture of a person with just a claim, like, “this lady just screamed at me for xyz” and how cold you ever know if it’s real?

[–] BogHag 7 points (+7|-0)

It sounds like they weren't filming any old person in their life who was communicating poorly, but their brother in a rage.

I don't know. Maybe I just relate. My brother terrorized me throughout childhood and could not be reasoned with. If I'd tried filming him, he would have broke my phone and hit me in the face. I do wish I could have shown someone else exactly what I was facing when we were alone. The bruises and fear had to speak for themselves.

Even with evidence, my father blew up at my brother and my mother blamed me for spreading tension. I was tearing the family apart because I was sick of being hit. In my world, brothers can be every bit as terrorizing as a leering man on a train.