the REAL tea is they actually don't give a shit about consent, they just make a big song and dance of it so that they can't be held accountable for their actions. like 'yeah actually it's totally fine that i gagged bound & beat my girlfriend, bc we have a safe word and she didn't use it so obviously she consented :)'. another thing: the entire purpose of the safe word is so that they can ignore 'no', 'stop', 'enough', 'get off me' etc and feign ignorance, bc they know that in moments of fear and panic it'll be almost impossible to remember the extremely specific safeword. "oh but you didn't say 'pasta napolitain with extra olives' so🤷‍♂️"

[–] demonista 1 points Edited

The normalization of "safewords" for all sex is one of the worst things. It's also been a successful defense for men raping women that were in a bdsm relation when rape occurred after they broke up (she didn't safeword, just said no, don't, stop, fought, cried, vomited, etc so she must've wanted everything, wanted him, etc)

The same thing also applies for TIMs. Making women uncomfortable and forcing them to say they are women gets their dicks hard. Some quotes:

when you ask your friends to call you by she/her and they do and it gets you hard

Every time I get my gender affirmed, whether it’s people using my chosen name, or referring to me as a girl, or wearing gender-affirming clothes, I get a boner.

The most recent incident was legitimately awful. I, for the first time, asked someone to refer to me by my preferred name (my transgender GP) and I felt so, so happy, and legitimately almost cried from happines, but at the same time I got an erection, and soon after an ‘emission' Links


Genuinely this just makes me happier that I recently decided there was no level of coercion that could make me use someone’s wrong sex pronouns.

Woahhhhhhh. I checked out the source of the first quote, and now my jaw is on the floor. The OP is asking if it’s normal to get a boner every time your gender is affirmed, and the comments are a sea of agreement. And I don’t mean mindless validation—I mean they are all saying it happens to them too. Here are some examples:

🚨 Warning: These comments are disturbing. 🚨

  • I have that too. […] The other day my therapist started treating me with she/her pronouns. This was the first time in my life someone did that. I started crying, but I also got a small boner that I totally hated having.

  • no worries. I feel like that's fairly normal. I get that too and for a while, it really worried me. It had me doubting and was wondering if I wasn't trans but had like a fetish or something.

  • This was the whole reason I ignored feelings about myself in middleschool, I figured I was just sexualizing women by wanting their body. Wish I had been smarter and caught on back then

  • I think this happened for me until my T started to drop when I started my 30's, I'm assuming my T was high as I always had high sex drive and “crossdressing" would be an instant boner. I didn't realize I was trans back then, so I did kind of take it as a "fetish". […] I've been on E for 2 weeks now and it seems I've gotten more horny, although I'm not getting erections unless actively go for one. Nipples and penis seem both to be more sensitive and my orgasms seem to be more whole body now, I've never been one to make noise when masturbating, but these new sensations are giving me the "girl" orgasm noises.

  • Remember: erections don't require you to be turned on to happen. Regardless of that, sporting a boner or getting turned on by gender affirmations isn't a bad thing. TERFs act like it's a bad thing because they want to paint trans people as "degenerate scum".

Clearly aware of how bad their unanimous agreement looks (one even predicted: ‘there'll be a lot of screenshots from this thread shared all over terf hatesites’), most of them rationalise this phenomenon by adding that 1. many emotions other than sexual arousal cause boners, and 2. the boners tend to become less frequent or stop altogether after taking HRT. Apparently, the sexual impotence brought on by cross-sex hormones is proof that it’s not a kink after all.

Exactly. I do not consent to TIMs watching me undress because it makes them feel "affirmed" (whatever that means). My intimacy doesn't exist so a man can forcefully penetrate it for his own satisfaction.

I was in San Francisco once during some sort of massive kink street parade (Folsom Street Parade). Fetish gear, furries and penises galore. I hoped an asteroid would hit. I had no idea this was going on so completely against my will I had to be subjected to dozens of penises. At the time it just seemed so ridiculous that we were supposed to celebrate men acting out their sexual fetishes in public. I think this was the first time I started to think that conservatives weren't so wrong about liberals. Like this wasn't progressive, it's a symptom of moral decay and it's a slippery slope.

The cooperation between gay and "queer" was always a mistake

Maybe you know more about the history of the word than I do. Back when I was figuring out my sexuality ~20 years ago it seemed like people used "queer" either as an umbrella term for everyone who is not straight or "cis", which was useful since there were starting to be so many freaking letters in the alphabet soup, or it was used by people who were questioning their orientation and hadn't settled on something yet, but they were pretty sure they weren't straight. For example women who knew they liked women, but weren't certain if they liked men or not, then later they would come out as bi or lesbian.

Now it seems like it's a permanent "identity" for people that doesn't actually mean anything. Tons of bicurious straight people seem to just use it to gain some woke brownie points and be able to weaponize it in arguments against other people, even though they're normal straight people who have only ever been in straight relationships. They get pissy if actual LGB people ask what differentiates them from other straight people. They often band together with trans people because both groups have this "identity" only in their own minds, and are trying to force the rest of us to pretend that their fantasies are equivalent to our lived experiences. Is that accurate? If anyone knows more history I'd be curious to learn more. It seems to have gone from a slur to an innocuous term I didn't mind using in certain contexts to one only used by irritating wokies.

I saw this sort of shit too, at the Melbourne Pride March over twenty years ago.

Meanwhile in the UK, a police officer exposed himself several times (and that was his only known offence) before murdering an innocent woman.

They keep conveniently forgetting that voyeurism is a sexual practice. So when you make someone watch a sex act you're forcing them to engage in a sexual practice. This is not okay.

I've come to realize I have issues with explicit sex on TV shows and in movies for the same reason. If I know it's there and just watch it by myself it's one thing, but there's a LOT of stuff I don't want to watch with other people in the room now, because it becomes sexualized and I don't want to have sex with those people.

And I realize this was probably a big reason conservatives objected to explicit TV all along. They probably were aware of this on some level and just didn't have the language to get it across.

This, all of this. Whatever consenting adults do is their own business, but when you involve people who didn't consent, you're out of line.

That’s a shallow view.

This is what supporters of BDSM say. “She consented to being beaten so it’s ok!”

There are so many people saying "it turned me on even further when the other person asked me to stop" or "I asked him to stop but he didn't". It's very clear how little they can value consent. It's further proof that being into violent degenerate shit no matter how much you veil it as "consent", will make you replicate those behaviors outside a consensual situation and normalise it.

The fetish of exhibitionism is partly the shock reaction. It is the lack of consent of the participants that is the point. In this way exhibitionism is parallel to rape.

Image Transcription: Tumblr


the entire point of doing kink stuff in public is that the thought of people watching you turns you on. it's exhibitionism, therefore all of us unlookers are participants.

kinksters go on and on about how kink is all about consent but lose their minds when we we revoke it. this is the most frustrating part of the kink at pride discourse. i am not consenting to being a participant in your exhibitionist fetish.

go do your freaky shit, i can't stop you, but do it with other consenting adults and leave the rest of us out of it.