You're damn straight, and we need to go back to this.

This is why men don't want us talking to one another or connecting without their direct oversight. This is why they are so quick to invade our spaces and talk over us. This is why they actively foment disagreement and discord among women.

They don't want experienced, seasoned, or older women offering any kind of survival advice to younger, less seasoned, or less experienced women. They don't want us guiding and helping one another. They definitely don't want us helping lead one another out of the darkness of our "relationships" with them.

The old women in my family have cracked me up. Sadly I was too young when she died to to hear this one myself but the other women in the family say my grandma always told them not to care about a man’s looks or charm, but just to see how nice he is to you. She’d tell them “the man that shows up when he’s sick or angry is the man you’re going to marry”.

I should have listened to her. My last ex seemed so compatible with me in a lot of important ways but when he was mad he shot low blows purely out of spite, told blatant lies, always got an aggressive tone of voice and stood up to pace around like a crazy person, and threw in personal insults that weren’t even relevant half the time. He’d apologize and even cry later…but when my unplanned pregnancy happened he did behave more like that version of himself rather than the one I loved.