I'm single and childless but deeply concerned for the future of my nieces. I don't think it's too far off to think we may see a future where we return to what you're talking about here. I plan on leaving what little bit of wealth I've amassed to them and can only hope they put it to wise use after I'm gone.

[–] spaghettiforhair autogynophobe 17 points

That's a very wise decision, I think. The women in my family think it's a crime that generational wealth has only belonged to men historically, my so grandmother is leaving a good sum of money to my mother and aunts (less to my uncle, but he makes well over 100K per year and has said that he would rather the money go to his sisters), and my mother plans on leaving all of her money to me, not even to my dad in the event that she passes before him, and he's perfectly okay with this.

Oh, absolutely right. My mom left hers to me and me alone (only child) because she said she knew if too many women whose estate wound up in the pockets of a much-younger second wife. Turns out my dad passed first, and in her later years suffering from dementia my mom would get so angry at me sometimes she would tear up that will and put my cousin's name in there instead.

I never worried, as my cousin is a person of high principle; when my mom passed the will said it was all for me anyway.

Unfortunately, I engaged the services of an estate planner who was unethical to say the least, and I wound up losing about $60,000.

Long story - what she did was sleazy but not technically illegal, so I never got my money back. Later she and her partner were caught in an illegal scheme and tossed out of the business. I have no idea whether either of them wound up doing any time.

[–] spaghettiforhair autogynophobe 4 points

I'm sorry that happened to you! I'm glad she and her partner eventually got their just deserts. Still, it sucks you never got your money back.

she said she knew if too many women whose estate wound up in the pockets of a much-younger second wife.

This happened in my family. My grandmother split her property between her two sons when she died. She had a large estate. My mother also left everything to my father when she died. My father, after my mother's death, remarried. His wife wasn't significantly younger, but he did change his will so that he was leaving everything (including my mother's property and my grandmother's property) to his new wife, effectively disinheriting my sister and myself.

Truth be told, it stings. It's not entirely about the money -- being cut out of our father's will in favor of someone who's only known him a couple of years is painful, but it is legally his money/property to do with as he chooses. But at the same time, it IS about the money, which would buy a certain amount of security for me and my children (and certainly for my sister).

I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I really hope other women read your comment and create iron-clad wills that protect their children and grandchildren - or at any rate, the people they want to protect and not just whoever their partners want the money to go to.