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Keyloggers can help you know what your kid is doing behind your back when you are not around... : https://www.geckoandfly.com/17868/best-free-keylogger-for-windows-mac-android-ios-to-monitor-your-kids-facebook/

This one seems easy to use... : https://kidlogger.net/

I know there are many mothers on Ovarit who may find this useful!

Keyloggers can help you know what your kid is doing behind your back when you are not around... : https://www.geckoandfly.com/17868/best-free-keylogger-for-windows-mac-android-ios-to-monitor-your-kids-facebook/ This one seems easy to use... : https://kidlogger.net/ I know there are many mothers on Ovarit who may find this useful!

35 comments

This is a good way to destroy your relationship with your child.

I understand the fears and concerns -- they're entirely justified. But the best way, hands-down, to protect your kids is to build a really strong relationship with them right from the start. To always value openness and honesty and respect and to remember that all of those are two-way streets.

We cannot protect our kids from every evil out there. What we have to do as parents -- and this is absolutely critical -- is provide them with strong critical thinking skills so that they can be discerning. And to ensure we, as their parents, are there to guide them along the way. This means a lot of talking and a lot of hard work. There are no shortcuts, and things like this, promising to make the process easier, are all but guaranteed to make it harder or even impossible.

And that's coming from a mother of both adults and teens. Please be careful.

[–] [Deleted] 3 points Edited

Yeah, they will just figure out a way around stuff like this. And they will hate you for being nosy.

For me personally, it's going to be a strict no privacy with screens policy. All computers, phones, and tablets are family property and they stay in common areas of the home only. If I catch one in my children's room, it is being taken away. They can have privacy on their own device when they are old enough to buy their own. Maybe. I might extend the rule for as long as they live with me.

I don't need to know what they are doing exactly, but if I catch any porn or social media, everything is being taken away. And I will see it. Sunshine is the best disinfectant as they say.

I would never violate my kid's privacy like that. I grew up with parents who had little consideration for me as a human being and I'm not behaving the same way.

[–] Lipsy 12 points Edited

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

...or, Quis loggerit ipsos keyloggers? How secure is the log itself—from hackers of the keylogger itself, and/or from exploits of the harddrive (or wherever the logs live) any other various and sundry malware item? in words, is anyone or anything acting as a keyloggerlogger of your keylogger?

That risk could very reasonably be on the same order of magnitude as the chances you'd gather anything useful from this. Could be greater.
If you're using, good gawds almighty on a stick, a FREE program... the risk of a hijack is definitely greater than the probability of any value-add.

Please do not neglect the core principle of freeware, which is that if the product isn't the product, then YOU, frendo, are the product. And your data and your little dog too.

How would you feel if you ended up doing nothing except playing inadvertent middleman, and you handed some bad actors your kid's entire corpus of entries into the keyboard over whatever period of time? That'd be kinda bad.

I usually like your posts, but logging every single conversation your kid who's old enough to be online has with their friends is really creepy and invasive.

This technology is used by many abusers to monitor every single conversation or internet search by their wives and their children.

[+] [Deleted] 8 points

It depends on the situation. If you seriously believe your child is being groomed, it may be necessary.

Maybe if we're talking absolute last resort like you have a trafficked underage girl in your house and she's desperately trying to reach out to her abuser so he can take her away again and no one will be able to rescue her... Have a cousin who works with girls in the exact scenario I just described and she still is not installing spyware and giving them a false idea of privacy just to violate it.

[–] FlorenceBlue 6 points Edited

Respectfully, I have seen computer monitoring software be used to prevent a girl from being groomed by a much older parent (edit: man, not parent) The non custodial parent was only able to get the custodial parent on board with reduced internet access and therapy once she was able to prove to him the child was being groomed.

I trust that you and I can have different opinions on this and leave it at that. My reasoning is just as acceptable as yours. Have a good day.

[–] Femina [OP] 3 points Edited

I think it is ok if the kid is still a minor... Same thing goes for blocking pornographic websites and other harmful stuff...

[–] sealwomyn 14 points Edited

Blocking p*rn sites is one thing but this is on another level of inappropriate. You truly think it's ok? For overbearing parents esp dads to be reading over every single chat or e-mail their teenage daughter ever has with her friends until she hits 21? To monitor every search she might make for resources to move out or go to college without relying on her creepy, invasive, boundary lacking parents? What if she is in trouble and needs to find STD testing or abortion services without going through her school counselor because they'll report her to her violent religious family? Teenage girls having zero privacy is a huge factor in abusive situations and a red flag for further abuse.

Yes this is how I had to get good at digital privacy, run spyware scans, boot live distros from a disc, use VPNs, the dark web, encrypt files, etc back in the day. I've helped multiple other abused women remove creepy shit like this from their personal devices because their husband or boyfriend or father was watching them and their kids so they couldn't talk about the abuse nor make plans to leave unless they could come up with a believable excuse to be out of the house and use a friend's resources.

Please, I know you don't mean to harm but I think it's a terrible idea to promote surveillance tools like this to the Mormons, christians, other patriarchal religions, assorted nutjobs, and MRA hatereaders on this website.

Would you be willing to make a post on this topic? And the privacy strategies you've learned? I'm very intrigued by this topic and how to better protect myself.

I think most of these parents you described won't really let their children even have any Internet at all especially when they are not looking... Sorry about what you went though by the way! I first learned about keyloggers when I was doing research on cyber security stuff myself after I was harassed online...

[–] Cubone 7 points Edited

So here's a video about the issue of parenting kids on the internet from a tech youtuber with two daughters, 7 and 13 years old: here

Basically, the parents own all of the kids' social media accounts, so they are able to see who their kids are friending and talking to. Their kids know and understand that their devices and texts are open to be viewed whenever their parents ask, so they're not being spied on unknowingly.

I guess this seems reasonable for around 13 and younger. I'd hope that this youtuber starts to let up on the monitoring as his daughters get older.

Edit: They also watch news stories and documentaries about child grooming with their oldest, so she knows and understands their concerns. I think that's another great parenting tip.

I have no kids of my own, so just fyi.

I couldn’t do this. I understand the extreme scenarios, but this isn’t a boundary I could cross. Just speaking for myself though - processed all the comments, thought through both sides, did a gut check, and the answer was no. Thanks for the post.

[+] [Deleted] 10 points
[–] LonelyKindred 5 points Edited

Literally installing malware into your child's PC to spy on them is one efficient way to make them hate you.

Privacy is a human right.

[–] Lipsy 3 points Edited

I have one more warning on top of my longer post:

Even if you can make a totally solid argument for installing this type of surveillance—e.g. as laid out by the users talking about fighting groomers (idk either way so I'll give benefit of the doiubt)—PLEASE still think long and hard about impacts on YOUR parent/child rl.

.If you're "caught" doing this, that rl will be damaged in absolute perpetuity (you don't get that kind of trust all the way back, fill in analogies with scar tissue as needed) and may be destroyed. Is it really worth it?

Not to mention if kiddo sniffs your shit out on the hard drive and gets into the storage, SHE may even potentially have access to YOUR inputs—which could get real nasty real fast if you've got any untoward little secrets yourself. Or even just a really high credit limit ahahhahaha

My BIL scheduled his router to only allow their MAC addresses for certain times. I thought that was a pretty clever way to get the kids off when it was dinner time. My sister got Net nanny, and i have to say as annoying as a popup is ever 30 sec, it did not deter the eldest. He'd just hit ignore to extend his screen time. I'm not sure i'd go as far as keylogging. I've tried to be open with them about the dangers, especially the blackmailing images one.

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