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One of the first comments answers the question as to why TERFs can threaten them with violence but it would be wrong for them to do the same.

...what violence? TERFs don't generally threaten violence. That's kind of a male thing.

[–] sohh 63 points

I mean, they refer to misgendering and gentle skeptical questions as "literal violence," so their bar for what constitutes a threat is pretty low.

This is it. To them words are 'literal violence', so actual, real violence in return is justified as self defense. Neat trick.