Prominent female-identifying males such as Andrea Long Chu and Grace Lavery describe femaleness / womanhood either as a hole, a vacuum needing to be filled or as something associated with /excited by masochistic pain and victimhood. And, yet both these men chose to identify into these disturbing categories.

I wonder if this constant reference to pain, vacuousness, potentially being the victim of a genocide is part of the fetish?

Because it sure ain't based in reality.