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"what are things I might not even be thinking about to make [her] feel supported, and loved? What can I do for [her] as [she] grows up?"

FFS:

Tell him he's perfect just as he is. Tell him the truth, stop feeding delusions. Let him wear whatever he wants. Let him play with whatever he wants. If he ends up being gay, support him.
Don't sterilize him. Stop using him for attention.

[–] scriptcrone 3 points Edited

Get him out of the environment (school, probably) that's warping his sense of himself. And be alert to the possibility of child sexual abuse.

A new sticker: "Kids need reared, not queered."