Women do get told how awful pregnancies can be... I've heard so many different stories. And honestly, it's fair, people want to share their stories and I would rather hear the truth than be lulled into some rosy pink dream idea of pregnancy and then wonder what the hell is wrong with me for not experiencing that. We're also told how hard it'll be to be a parent, how we will have no time for ourselves and our hobbies whatsoever, life will only be changing diapers and breastfeeding. I find that a bit exaggerated, but we'll see. Also, I've been asked if it was planned, if we talked about it for long, how did we decide that now was the time. It's not a big issue, but people do have questions and are curious. It's not like they just go "yay" and then don't have any questions or anything to say. And I'm sure if I had gotten pregnant at some earlier state in life my family would have asked if it was a good time. They would have supported us, if we decided to go through, but they would also have been there to help me look at the situation.

After a friend had a pretty difficult and traumatic birth that she was totally unprepared for, and contributed to her havibg PPD, I promised myself I would not hide the reality of my first birth from friends, which was was very similar to her experience. I try to be gentle and not pushy, but I want my friends to know what to expect. One friend was going to turn down her mother's offer to come help after the baby was born, thinking it would be days of dreamy bliss of her and her husband cuddling with the baby. I told her her husband is a great guy, but he might need to take care of her and the baby, and he would need help to do that. It turned out she had an emergency c-section and she was grateful I warned her that she might need caregiving too, and not to turn down help.