65

37 comments

I feel bad for her :/ she was excited for a date and was raped.

This is somewhat similar to the push for women to do OnlyFans. Some women are so desperate for male approval and attention that they play right into these dangerous games. Men lie. They say they see you as a man if you’re trans. They say it’s empowering to post nudes online. All of this benefits men and directly harms women. They get easy sex from TIFs and a constant supply of nudes from any woman they want. And women get nothing out of this. It’s all a scam. I don’t know how more women aren’t catching onto this.

Why aren't girls taught that men lie?

I mean, granted, I don't think my parents taught me that, but consumption of old-timey books and such taught me that men will say everything to get women to have sex with them. (There's tons of folk songs and tales about men who promise marriage and then run away after getting what they want.)

Have those cautionary tales gone out of fashion?

I am a massively naive person; it took me years to grasp the concept of people intentionally saying things that are not true. I am very bad at lying myself. But still, I notice when men are lying to me in order to get into my pants. Because here's the thing: I expect them to. Now, I am still bad at determining lies I am not expecting. If a man tells me that he has committed a crime, or that he is involved with another woman, I take that at face value, because it is nothing that would attract me. I've been told some men invent such things to make themselves interesting, but that's where my lie detecting fails.

Still.

How on earth do those young girls grow up not being warned about that if a man can get into your pants with one easy lie - he will tell you that lie.

That's not really the issue, girls understand that everybody lies. The problem is that girls are taught that casual sex is empowering, that they must push their boundaries in bed, and that they're just as strong as men. So after they're raped (or had what they considered to be a one night stand) they feel empty, humiliated, hurt, and confused. And they can't even put their finger on why they feel this way, everyone told them that sex is fun and healthy. That's the real lie, the one that teaches girls and young women that sex is the same for men and women and that we're all the exact same. I know this because I used to think like this, and when I finally opened my eyes it changed me. Sex can be good and all, but we will never enjoy it as men do, casual sex for women is disappointing at best and dangerous at worst.

Also the prominent media lie of friends with benefits turning to something more if you have an amazing personality/looks. Nope when a man tells you what he wants, believe him.

That song, Let No Man Steal Your Thyme, is practically a manifesto to me. I first heard it as part of the Alias Grace miniseries and it's haunted me since.

To be fair, I don't know where she hooked up with him but Grindr is known to be used by a lot of straight men lately who look for TIFs there. And since these women are desperate to fulfill their gay boi fantasies they are probably easy to hook up with. By the way she's a "trans buddhist" who's a PhD student in religious studies.

These girls think they have "boi brains" and yet don't understand how a man can only use them for their vaginas. Sis... If you don't understand that, you CERTAINLY don't got any kind of male brain because that shit is how to male 101

My only TIF friend actually hates men (huge cognitive dissonance there) and is lesbian, so at least she won’t be going on dates with rapist males (and my heart goes out to this poor woman who was assaulted), but I don’t understand how they can all male-identify without recognizing that men’s thinking, behavior, and socialization regarding sex is completely different. Men are overwhelmingly predatory users who see women as walking “cum dumpsters.”

Women don’t despise men the same way and get off on degrading them and being sexually violent to them. For men, entitlement, rage, sex and hatred are deeply intertwined. They can assault a woman and walk away with zero guilt. In fact, they look back on it fondly.

[–] platypus 17 points Edited

Yup, they view sex as a tool for "putting you in your place" and "getting one up on you." It took me a long time to understand this because in mind mind, consensual-sex-as-revenge makes about as much sense as feeding someone a cupcake as "revenge." But a man can literally enter a consensual sexual encounter where his female partner is excited and happy, and come away from the experience thinking "yup, I showed her who's boss!" They really ruin everything with their horrible petty vengeance mentality.

transgenderism and buddhism are thoroughly incompatible. Buddhists are supposed to acknowledge and overcome their desires and negative feelings that come from desire. She's just pretending to be something she's not in more than one way.

Maybe because Buddhism also teaches women cannot ascend to the afterlife? And that women also are "cursed" men's souls or whatever who have to repeat life as women, maybe its all a big cope? I am with you totally on her pretending, I just hope she can get out of this horrid loop.

I didn't know that... Can we have one religion that's not completely shitty towards women? I hate this man-dominated world.

[–] Committing_Tervery alien/ufoself 👽🛸 1 points

Maybe because Buddhism also teaches women cannot ascend to the afterlife?

Source please? I couldn’t find anything about this. I’m disturbed by this because I recently started going to a Buddhist temple and most of the people there are women. They even have women monks. (For the record, this temple is Tibetan Buddhist; idk if there are differing beliefs for women in different sects of Buddhism.)

I don't think most Buddhists hold such misogynistic values anymore, and there is a lot of diversity of thought within Buddhism too. About reincarnation: the more bad karma a person accumulates, the more challenging their next life will be. Since being a woman is significantly more difficult, some people see it as a punishment for past karma.

Personally, I believe that since women had less freedoms when these religions were created, there were significantly less women who could be wandering travelers who attained enlightenment and taught philosophy.

I'm not sure what her situation is but I hope she gets better.

I would say they are incompatible more because trans is all an ego-based identity. Nothing more.

Exactly what I was wondering. How can she be in a PhD program for religious studies and not see their blatant incompatibility?

I think she may be more focused on American Buddhism? Her twitter profile says she is Thai but I saw she tweeted one of her papers which was focused on American Buddhism and sexual violence. There are so many views in Buddhism though, from the extremely religious, to NeoBudhism, to just philosophical beliefs. Academics who study religion/cultures do have a long history of pushing their own values onto others and ignoring diversity within the groups they study.

I wonder, are gay men going to start having trouble finding other gay men on Grindr? Is it getting to that point?

They also probably make the mistake of thinking they're "safe" with a "gay man."

I would think transgenderism is too consumerist and anti-Dharma to be compatible with Buddhism.

[–] mathlover 32 points Edited

Straight (and probably some bi) men who want to anally penetrate women specifically look for these unfortunate het women larping as gay "men". They don't have to manipulate or pressure these women into anal sex they way they have to with other het women.

I don’t think all gay men will agree to have anal sex (as a bottom).

I wonder if TIFs boundaries are lower than gay men’s because they think “that is what they should do” ?

Lots of gay men won't agree to be penetrated. So, yeah, het women larping as gay "men" will agree to it because that's the only way they can get occasional gay men (well, bi men calling themselves gay) to fuck them.

Is that why they go for TIFs? IMO most guys are not attracted to TIFs so I don't understand why they are doing this, other than desperation or fetish reasons.

Apparently it is a factor, that I have heard some detransitioned women mention.

These women are so heartbreakingly naive. They did not grow up with male socialization, do not have male sexuality (with all the really dark shit that can come with that) and it’s just all really awful, sad and depressing.

[–] SaintHedwig 9 points Edited

I'll take "Examples of women who think they can identify out of their sex-based oppression for 400, Alex"

In all seriousness, I feel bad for her but these sorts of things are WHY we keep raising warnings. :(

Uh, yeah…trust me, it is NOT a new thing to be objectified and sought after by men, lady.

This is the great danger of nlog. They do really think they are nlog….but they are like other girls to men. We always are.

[–] hmimperialtortie 🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈 3 points

So instead of deceiving a gay man, she was deceived by a straight or bi one.