40

33 comments

I went through a similar "peaking" process. The time frame when I felt AWFUL and like such a BIGOT was miserable. I had trans friends too that I didn't want to "misgender" or make them want to kill themselves for disagreeing with their view points. It took another 2-3 months to get out of that phase, but I was lurking on r/detrans and Ovarit during that time and the overwhelming evidence that trans ideology is fucking sexist garbage was too much to ignore.

Sounds like she's going cold turkey and deleting every "transphobic" thing she follows. But she mentioned in her comments that she likes radfem theory for it being anti-porn (with a stupid fucking reply about how porn is actually the best thing ever for trans people, wtf), so she won't be deleting everything radfem. It's so difficult to have such minority beliefs in this world (being anti-porn) and not having anyone to agree with so she'll inevitably come across trans ideology again. Being a "swerf" was also my introduction to finding "terf" stuff and peaking.

There's no way she can get that voice in the back of her mind to stamp out forever. Every time irl a TIM does something so typically male, that voice will pipe up. Once you see these people are men who grew up as men and are just majority porn addicted, there's no way to unsee it.

It'll take her a while because I know how badly she wants to just forget it all and go back to being a comfortable handmaiden. Here's to hoping.

[–] nothefunkind 9 points Edited

Anti-porn and anti-sex industry was also my introduction, even back when I was defending TIMs. Once you take on a porn-critical view, it changes how you see a grown man dressed like a pornified teenage girl in the name of 'being his true self'.

I was anti-porn and anti-sex industry long before gender ideology was even on my radar. It does seem to be a natural progression.

[–] [Deleted] 7 points Edited

Same. Many years before. But everyone told me I was conservative because of that.

Lol one of the comments can be boiled down to "consider: instead of hating gender roles maybe you should just hate cis women for conforming to them and not the poor trans women who will DIE without them."

[–] Maplefields 27 points Edited

My word, the absurdities they can spout with little thought:

Radical feminism and TERF are ddifferent. First and foremost, TERFs are not feminists TERFs see womanhood as something you are forced into. You don't have a choice. And trans women show that gender isn't determined by a person's birth. Trans women show EXACTLY what feminism is. There is no right way to be a woman. There are feminine Trans women and masculine Trans women. There are feminine cis women. There are masculine cis women. There are submissive Trans women there are dominant Trans women. There are submissive cis women there are dominant cis women. There are women born with vaginas There are women born with penises. Can someone explain to me how they aren't perpetuating stereotypes? If a woman chooses to cook and clean and wear dress and you get upset with her for her choices YOU ARE NOT A FEMINIST.

Last I checked, many baby girls in china were murdered because they were female. Newborns aren’t old enough to tell you how they identify. Child brides are enslaved because they’re female.

Oh, and women bear the consequences of rape and intercourse because of sexual dimorphism. Tell me again how womanhood is something you get to choose.

  • they came up with the acronym TERF
  • TERF stands for 'trans-exclusive radical feminist'
  • they also say TERFs are not feminists

Pick one.

TERFs see womanhood as something you are forced into. You don't have a choice. And trans women show that gender isn't determined by a person's birth.

You see I wasn't forced to be a slave, I chose to be one! Therefore slavery is good!

Jokes aside, they really don't know what womanhood is, huh.

How rude of her to ask these innocent trans people to do the emotional labor of educating her! /s

Lol, this is so stupid. It's like asking your husband for reasons to not divorce him after you realized that he was a liar and a cheater. I'd almost feel sorry for her but she's asking for answers from the group that will lie to her, instead of from the group she's reluctant to admit she respects.

I went through a phase like that before peaking definitely. I wanted to be nice, I didn’t want people to think I was hateful, so I tried to distance myself from radical feminism. That phase didn’t last long, there’s only so much misogyny and nonsense one can turn a blind eye to in good conscience.

[–] Maplefields 19 points Edited

A bit off topic here, but sex work is legitimate work which can help pay the bills required to not die under capitalism; often far more safely than labor considered more normalized like retail. And porn serves very important roles in a society where many body types are taught to see themselves as shameful or unattractive, and where basic sex ed is heavily suppressed. My favorite musician does porn on the side. She is petite and feminine, and has an enormous dick, and I think that's pretty great. Seeing someone whose body is like your own as something to experience lust over is a hell of an empowering thing, particularly when society says you're unattractive or undesirable or unlovable; as society does for all who don't meet unrealistic body standards to some extent or another. And like terfs, swerfs generally end up playing right into patriarchal norms by denying women agency over how they choose to use their bodies.

(Emphasis: mine)

Someone is gunning hard to defend the sexual exploitation of women. Just admit you hate women. Stop trying to dress it up as something else. Porn has fried your brain.

Yeah, I saw that comment and just went “well, that didn’t take long.”

These fucking people are so porn sick. “We’re seriously lacking in comprehensive sex ed, so porn is a good thing actually.” That’s really the argument you want to make here? Disgusting.

That comment that Maplefields quoted is so obviously male, being objectified and desired is not the same as respect. Also the reason males are so bad at sex is because of porn!!

in a society where many body types are taught to see themselves as shameful or unattractive

In many cases they feel unnatractive because of mainstream porn, since it only promotes certain body types.

I would say something about the matrix here but we all know the creators ended up taking the blue pill

🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh, that is such a burn! Using their own creation as a diss against them. I’m saving this for laughs later.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[–] crodish 3 points Edited

Is it a burn?? I could just never get over it. They wrote the fucking matrix and all that shit about ugly truths vs comfortable lies so how the fuck did BOTH of them accept that being trans was the way to go. They were fine being the Wachowski Brothers until trans became a fad and then suddenly, their own branding is transphobic?? It's such a goddamn mind blowing stupidity and sheer ironic-ness

I've seen people defending the creators and saying the Matrix is a pro trans movie and describes how life as a trans person is (never seen them all the way thru so I have no clue) because the creators were “mentally women” when they wrote it, even if they were living as men 🙄

[–] QueenBread 1 points Edited

Yeah, it's amazing how the authors of such a nice and creative pop culture story..... turned out being imbeciles in real life. But eh. It shows that even imbeciles can have a good side and talent. Not a bad thing I guess?

For me, the worst was Stephen King yapping "trans women are women" on Twitter. I mean, he is (was) a good writer. And yet.

Bad news, sister: if you' re thinking those things, chances are it' s only a matter of time before you join the TERFhood.

[–] no- [OP] 17 points Edited

She just needs to peak a few times more. Once the wool is off your eyes, there’s no way back.

This. Wouldn't be surprised to see her here sooner rather than later.

[–] ProMoleratWaxer 17 points Edited

Lmfao they can't help being MRAs "cis men are harmed by the patriachy too" , "what is wrong with all women being feminine" congratulations on the enlightenment girl, they literally aren't female so the only thing they can skinwalk is the social chains (in various degrees I know some of these boys are masc ugly) AKA feminity AKA gender enthusiasts AKA male supremacists 😭

[–] GCRadFem 16 points

Nothing any of them write rings authentic to me any longer. This sounds like a TIM trying to sound like a handmaiden to me.

All of it is begging for head pats.

Maybe I’m just cynical…

What's that thing called where you can't tell if something is a joke or not?

[–] hmimperialtortie 🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈 11 points

Poe’s Law, where you can no longer tell satire from serious?

The logic being used was, since the patriarchy says that being a woman is wearing makeup, dressing a certain way, acting a certain way, being "submissive," and being sexualized, or feeding into a gender role, and we are trying to remove that idea that a woman is being all those things, that trans women were perpetuating this idea and feeding into the idea of gender roles. I found myself agreeing with these things and becoming hateful. seeing the truth.

FTFY.

[–] furyosa MERF 5 points

It's tragicomical to see how the axiom of their value system - 'be kind to your male overlords' - comes up against the truth and it's translated in their minds to 'becoming hateful'.

"Oh no, this goes against my core protocol! If I yield to this seemingly true information it means I'm hateful! Must reverse immediately!!"

Load more (1 comment)