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19 comments

[–] Eava 13 points

I wonder how many girls would like to have short hair but won't cut it because they don't want people to think they are trans. We're forcing girls into pink, frilly boxes because otherwise they will get transed. I still don't understand how progressives and liberals don't see how regressive gender ideology is. "THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO BE A GIRL!" haircut "ARE YOU TRANS?! SO STUNNING AND BRAVE!"

It kills me how so many women post to reddit and say, "my husband thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing"

especially in this case because the husband has no perspective on being a GNC school girl so has no idea how his daughter might be feeling about the teacher's comments so close to getting a brave haircut. I think the mother has it right.

I don’t want to sound inflammatory because I really do despise all the “groomer” discourse, but this really is a good example of that. Making a child potentially feel confused about themselves for something so innocuous as having cut their hair… I’m wearing “boy” cut jeans today, I guess I should question my gender m (also hi I’m new - I ended up here bc I ticked off the Reddit “mafia” and got myself suspended for essentially making the same comment I’m making here).

I still don't understand why people think short hair somehow is masculine. Is it because I grew up in the 80s with male hair bands and the dregs of the long-haired hippies everywhere, and women sporting short bobs and pixie cuts, or, like Grace Jones being an icon? My hair gets long periodically because I hate getting haricuts; as soon as it gets long enough to go in a ponytail it does because I hate the feeling of it on my neck. But maintaining short hair takes way more effort and upkeep than that, you'd think long hair would be seen as more masculine because you just get out of the shower and tie it back to get it out of the way and move on with your day instead of having to shape it daily and spend time/money trimming it every two weeks.

agreed, short hair is way more annoying! I never style my waist-length hair now. just bun-and-go.

Agreed. My hair isn't QUITE as long as yours, but I can wash and go, pull it into a quick bun or braid, and aside from bang trims (which I do myself in five minutes every three weeks or so), I can go months without a haircut and look fine. So much easier.

[–] [Deleted] 13 points Edited

This (obviously) got deleted soon after I saw it! Tbf it might well be bait post.

Post

"Hey, my daughter is 12. Over the weekend, my daughter had her hair cut short when previously it was long. I think this is great that she wants to do this and isn’t affected by gender norms or social pressures. She is very happy and confident, and has never shown any signs of discomfort with her gender. She says that today her homeroom teacher asked her about her pronouns, then “patronizingly explained” (although this may well be an exaggeration) and then told her that if she ever was considering her gender that she could talk to her. She said that teacher asked this to just her when they were walking to an assembly. I don’t know exactly what happened as I only heard this through her and when I asked questions about it she didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

I think it’s great that the school support trans kids but I think it was wrong to talk to her individually especially the first day she came into school with short hair. Although, as far as I know, she didn’t mention this, it sounds like she only asked this because of her haircut. At least, that’s what my daughter thought. I think it suggests that there is something wrong and not normal with a girl having short hair and I don’t think this is right. I think it could be damaging for her and make her feel wrong and bad for having short hair. She seems not bothered by this but the fact she told me suggests maybe she is. Also your hair length is obviously not what being trans is about and it’s wrong for her to be talking specifically to her about this because of her hair. I guess something like this could really help a trans kid but it seems wrong if it is just because of her hair

I am not sure if I should complain about this or not. I am worried that if I were to complain then it would make the school more wary about being supportive to the actual trans kids at the school. Especially with what’s going on with the republicans and I am worried like me complaining would just add pressure for them to stop supporting the trans kids altogether. My husband thinks I am making a big deal about nothing and it hasn’t done any harm. I’m not sure if it would be right to complain and if it is how can i word it in the right way so that it wouldn’t harm"

Some comments

"Yes you would absolutely be the asshole! The teacher is just trying to help, and that would be amazingly helpful for a trans kid. Don't you dare do that, it will make her afraid of doing anything to help trans kids again. It sounds like you are the kind of person who is ok with trans people to some extent, but as soon as it's your child then suddenly you show your true colours. I think this is cause from a fear your child is trans, maybe that teacher knows more than you do and maybe there are other signs that you have missed because of your unconscious transphobia"

"I would suggest not complaining. It was weird, but I’m just glad there is a teacher in place trying to create a safe space. She screwed up a little. If it really bothers you just let her know the 1-1 was strange and offer her feedback. Maybe thank her but offer coaching. But discouraging a teacher who isn’t a jerk just seems like the wrong direction to go."

"You are making a big deal out of something that is not a big deal. You would be TAH if you complained to the school. Do you have any idea how much pressure teachers are under? Do you know how difficult it might be for trans children? Just be grateful your child confides in you."

"I understand your concern but it sounds to me like the teacher was trying to be supportive. We live in confusing times and it seems like people get blasted no matter what they say or do. If you are concerned you can go have an adult conversation with the teacher. But I agree with your husband that you are making a big deal over nothing."

"I understand why you are upset but you shouldn’t complain. The teacher wasn’t pressuring her or anything, it sounds like she just wanted to make sure your daughter knew she had someone to talk to if she needed. Don’t complain, but reassure your daughter that people of any gender can have any hair they want."

Archive of reveddit: https://archive.ph/BRAn7

Ugh those comments! The teacher is very wrong to put a kid on the spot on the basis of a haircut. Making assumptions about a girl with short hair is VERY VERY OUT OF LINE. It can also read as grooming. I know TRAs think it's impossible for a kid to experience gender or sexuality confusion at 12 but everyone else in the world knows differently. Just leave her alone and let her come to her own decisions ffs.

Those comments are disgusting. How can nobody see how absurd and frankly, rude it is to ask a girl if they're trans just bc she got a fucking pixie cut.

Whether this is real or not, it really showcases how this entire movement is based on regressive stereotypes

Love how every comment here is asking the mother to sacrifice protecting her child and her daughter's dignity because either 1. the kid is trans or 2. think about the real trans kids. You can tell the commenters do not want to address the implications of saying this to a girl, even though they are brushing against their own recognition there is a serious problem here, they are forced to look away if they want to support "the trans". Never seen a better illustration of how transgender crap has obvious issues with sexism, in fact it requires sexism, and women are expected to look the other way about it to benefit trans stuff.

Her daughter shows obvious signs of being offended and disturbed at being singled out, the mother is falling over herself to not cause a fuss, but even then thats not enough, there is NO way you can object properly as a girl or woman. If you are even the vaguest hint of nonconforming, and other people assume you are trans, even adults with significant power over a child, no harm done because what if you WERE?????? What if they are actually right about you after all. The rights of some hypothetical version of you, or your own kid, who decides to reinterpret mundane female behavior as ackchually not a woman's behavior, and was trans all along, is prioritized over YOU. Not only is it incredibly sexist, but its degrading to be disappeared off the planet by these people, theres nothing you can do to insist on your right to self definition, your own perceptions. Trans and their allies are so fragile about this, they prioritize their fucking "right" to project their bullshit onto everyone over literally anything else, not only do you not get to escape having to tell THEM what they want to hear about THEMSELVES but now you have to tell them what they want to hear about YOU

Wtf are those comments?? Yeah, it’s totally not harmful to a young girl to basically say, “Oh, are you trans now? Sorry I just assumed because your hair looks so bad like that lol have you tried ya know being a girl the right way”

Yeah heaven forbid you say anything about a teacher trying to pick your kid for the sterilization cult based on a haircut! Wth?

Right? I would absolutely talk to the teacher and depending on her reaction, possibly the principal. It's not like this would get the teacher fired.

I would've been fucking mortified if a teacher did that to me when I was in school

"We live in confusing times" because people are intentionally creating confusion to push an agenda. It used to be that a haircut was not cause for teachers to make any inquiry about a student's identity. It used to be that teachers didn't make inquiries into students' identities under any circumstance.

my mum's a teacher and she had to do the whole gender nonsense stuff (professional development) for her students along with the yearly sexual abuse monitoring stuff. (not one trans student in her school yet, but it's government mandated). she let me read it, and if this teacher is in my country she's completely overstepped her boundaries to some very inappropriate and sexist behaviour. you don't ever ask the child if they are trans or anything about their gender (that's grooming), you wait until the child discloses to you and then you work through it that way. when i read it i realised that it's basically treated the same way as abuse in a way.

I saw a commercial for the movie Bros and one of the characters asks, "Remember straight people?" It would've been more accurate for him to ask, "Remember tomboys?" This cult is trying its damnedest to identify, surgerize, and pathologize them out of existence.

[–] spw 2 points

Also your hair length is obviously not what being trans is about and it’s wrong for her to be talking specifically to her about this because of her hair.

What is it about then?

I am worried that if I were to complain then it would make the school more wary about being supportive to the actual trans kids at the school

Yeah I bet there are a lot of them