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16 comments

the comments were quite supportive, actually, but it still pisses me off that they're calling her lesbianism a "genital preference". it's not a preference, it's an orientation.

there is a user who said it's only transphobic if she's grossed out because he's trans. but what makes you entitled to sex with people who find you unattractive in the first place? why do we have to fuck you if we have to prove we're not transphobes? why do we have to pull up bs excuses like "genital preferences" to get out od having to fuck you, and why do you constantly pester lesbians into having sex with you by calling them transphobic?

[–] carpetplaydohx2 24 points Edited

but what makes you entitled to sex with people who find you unattractive in the first place?

I'll never really understand the allure of having sex (edit: well, rape, but for the sake of this topic we'll go with their assumptions here) with 1. someone who isn't into you and 2. someone who actively doesn't want to have sex with you. Have these people really never been with someone who was super into them and super into what they were doing and so they have absolutely no frame of reference for genuinely mind-blowing sex? It's the only thing I can figure.

[–] BlackCirce enby jinping 17 points

The fact that the woman doesn’t want the sex is why the man wants it. Two opposing wills, the one that dominates wins. They are not sexually attracted to mutuality. They are sexually aroused by domination, by winning.

A lot of the online trans communities are very young and that’s why I think this whole “genital preferences” “hearts not parts” has taken off so much. Of course when you are young and sexually inexperienced, sex is just a concept to you. It makes sense in your mind that it’s just a “preference”.

Adults will encourage this for ulterior motives (money, grooming/rape etc). Any sexually experienced adult knows calling it “genital preferences” or god forbid “genital fetish” is complete bullshit so I can only assume nefarious intent.

Especially for young women, almost the entire narrative is around being desirable, not desiring. A lot of women I know went through an early phase of hooking up with unattractive men just because those men made them feel attractive, wanted to feel like the man couldn't 'do better' and would appreciate them, make them feel desirable...and then got older, learned through experience that unattractive men don't treat them any better than attractive ones, and sex is better when you're actually attracted to your partner.

She is a lesbian. She is not grossed out because he is trans. As a lesbian, she is grossed out because he is male. And he is sexually gross and repulsive even if he has his junk surgically made into a front hole.

We need to not use the language of "genital preferences" when the only issue is sexual orientation.

It’s so annoying that this poor girl has to ask permission for her sexual boundaries.

Worse, she hast to add and explain other, supporting, reasons why she does not want to sleep with this dude.

Even if OP is a troll, the fact that everybody’s answering her, means they in the trans community believe that this can happen

She tried to make herself like him.

That is not only a thing you see with trans. That is, as OP said, a pushy man thing.

If I had a nickel for every rape victim I saw that "admitted" that she "tried to like it". It's a safety response. It is a way to protect yourself from what is actually happening.

That TIM was trying to hope her via coercion. Her safety response was to try to be okay with that, because then she could feel like she was "still in control" and that she still had a "choice."

I hope those comments tell her he's in stage 1 rapist mode. It'll eventually get to a point where he's "offering" her alcohol (but she doesn't feel safe to leave due to combo of him being a man plus the cancel culture she'd face after). A few prompts for self gaslighting (it's just a way to show each other that we love each other, it's not about the physical) to help her convince herself, but "maybe the alcohol will make it easier"

Then, bam, she's in our clinic and I'm having to do a end game breakdown to explain why, no, she wasn't "asking for it" and, yes, it was rape.

I am so disgusted by the term “genital preference” to erase our actual sexuality. It’s not a preference! It’s an innate piece of us that just a few years ago - we were trying to de-stigmatize

Wondering how much of this is actually a 'huge crush' and how much is him just refusing to accept a genuine real-life lesbian isn't sexually available to him; the "You don't get to say no to me" mindset.

Also, this is a small detail in relation to the large glaring one of her sexual orientation being trampled all over by this creep, but it speaks volumes that this girl still feels like she needs to "be friends" with this pushy, entitled boy who won't leave her the hell alone and, in her words, "isn't very nice." And while the replies may be vaguely supportive that she doesn't have to sleep with him, that reads like they're just covering their asses while knowing full well he's going to flip out on her and try to ruin her life if she does actually find the courage to tell him she isn't attracted to him and it's never going to happen between them, not even if he successfully stops acting like a rapey asshole for a few days in a row.

every single AGP TIM that I've ever heard of is at best a garden variety pervert, and at worst, an abusive asshole.

my TIF bff has met two guys on both ends of the spectrum, the latter being her "girl"friend when she thought she was a lesbian.

whether a girl is actually a lesbian or not, any man that tries to get a woman who calls herself a lesbian to sleep with him is a rapey douchebag.

Forgive me father for I have sinned against a transwoman.

It makes me so sad to see yet another young lesbian trying to force herself to be attracted to a man, and feeling like there's something "wrong" with her when she's not able to do so. I thought we were passed this bullshit, but I guess not.