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This is so fucking stupid. I never need to know this about a person. How is this an "identity"? I just can't. It makes me embarrassed to be Canadian.

I came up in a dysfunctional household. My father was and is a jerk and a brute, but the women in my family — gossips, backstabbers, transactional affinities — were not the nicest either. I decided to eschew companionship altogether, plus I have never found the “act” of writhing and grinding in heat all that appealing. (Especially after catching the neighbor’s cat going at it with a stray under my bedroom window one night.)

Then the pandemic came along and I just couldn’t wrap my brain around why anyone would even want to take the risk of swapping spit or anything else for that matter, and running the risk of spreading disease.

I am not a “Q” or an “A” or anything else on the Scrabble board. I’m simply a misanthrope. The last thing I need or want is a flag or parade.

You ironically sound more asexual than most people who proclaim themselves to be asexual.

We sound very similar. Never was very into sex, always found it uncomfortable and unpleasurable. After two sexual assaults, I had a period of hypersexuality which totally re-traumatized me. Now, I haven’t touched anyone in 5 years.

When I heard about asexuality, I thought it applied to me, but then I was informed of sex-loving asexuals and was promptly put off by it. I still have sexual attraction to some people deep down, but I would never pursue it. Misanthropy captures the situation best.

I keep arguing this with schools.

It’s entirely normal development for children not to feel sexual attraction/desire.

While teaching them age appropriate facts about sexual orientation, if teachers term not feeling attraction to either sex asexual, then they are terming a normal stage of children’s development a sexual orientation. Which means teachers are sexualising children.

Then those kids will google their sparkly new sexual orientation and every single fucking link they’ll find talks about having sexual relationships even though they don’t feel attraction. In other words, lie back and spread your legs.

Which we know is only ever aimed at girls. So it’s hugely important that sexual orientation remain those legally defined in the equality act: heterosexual homosexual and bisexual.

Much like "nonbinary" women want to be "not like the other girls," I think people who call themselves asexual have been fooled into believing that society's prescribed pornsickness is really just how most people naturally are. My boyfriend has halfheartedly wondered aloud to me if he's on the "ace spectrum"; it wasn't any sort of serious soul-searching or anything, more just a "I, a normie, heard this word, do you think it applies to me?" moment. And it's sad, because really what he's saying then is: what's abnormal about me, to cause me to not think about sex or want to have it all the time?

So that's where we're at. If you're not watching violent porn, or having rough sex, or getting yourself off daily, you must be asexual.

And a number of people who are averse to physical contact or are prone to emotional withdrawal may also have autism or Asperger's. Which opens a whole different can of worms, in terms of the overlap between the alphabet identity movement that's now grown to encompass "neurodivergency" as an identitarian flag to wave.

I guess a rallying cry of "We're here, we're q_ eer, get used to it!!!" carries more flash and gets more attention than "I'm here, but I don't want to be, so please just leave me alone."

He and I are both on the spectrum. Those identitarian types do legitimate harm in so many insidious ways—it actually prevented me from getting diagnosed (thus receiving the accommodations I needed to go back and be successful in school now) sooner because I didn't want to be associated with the loud and self-diagnosed crowd. But I must say, I actually love that for a rallying cry 😆

("What do we want?" "To go home" "When do we want it??" "As soon as we can slip out quietly without saying goodbye to anyone but the cat")

Asexuality is real, but it has nothing to do with LGB and I'm not too sure if it needs awareness.

All these people wanting to be seen and acknowledged for their dull nondescript natures make me want to go and live up a pole in the desert out of secondhand embarrassment. Why aren’t THEY embarrassed, goddammit?