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The reason it all hinges on passing is because it's entrenched in trickery and rape rhetoric. It gives them this rush to know they've forced someone to acknowledge their fetish, that they've also tricked them. It's really a form of sexual harassment, because we're all participating in someone's sexual fetish/deviency, quite unwillingly too.

It's really a form of sexual harassment, because we're all participating in someone's sexual fetish/deviancy, quite unwillingly too.

I agree with that but, for exactly that reason, I don’t think it “all hinges on passing”. I think they get less of a kick from “tricking” us (rarely happens anyway) than they do from forcing us to go against our instincts (including that of self-defence), against our reason, and against our volition. It’s about power, like it always is with men.