[–] spaghettiforhair LiTeRaLlYvIoLeNt 38 points

My heart breaks for this person. This is why medical transition shouldn't be advertised to children and young adults as a cure-all for low self-esteem, trauma, and other mental health problems. I hope this person seeks real help, recovers, and finds real happiness.

Very sad. Radical acceptance of her sex might work here, combined with proper feminist learning, i.e., being told that the only thing 'woman' means is that the person is biologically female. It does NOT mean that the person should simper or wear frilly things or have big breasts or wear makeup etc, and it doesn't mean that she couldn't be a pilot or almost anything she wants to and can do in the West (with the usual exceptions of patriarchy, Catholic priesthood, inheriting male titles among English nobility etc.).

I have been incredibly astonished by the way the young have silently trotted back to extremely sexist and retrogressive views about how men and women are supposed to be. Things are worse than in the 1990s when I became aware of these issues. Is it porn everywhere? Popular online culture? If feminist books had been completely banned I could see how this has happened, but I really don't understand why we have retreated.

Add the commercialization of the female body together with its erasure outside porn and I get why young girls don't want to become women. But they can't become men.

is it porn everywhere?


popular online culture?

This is influenced entirely by porn.

I had no idea when I was living through it what a relatively golden time the 1990's were for women. But I see it now in retrospect.

Me too and it isn’t like sexism and misogyny had disappeared from the landscape but we had hope that things would continue to get better. Now we have this instead.

I didn't realize how many female role models I had in the 90s who weren't selling sex as their primary value. I miss that. I feel like once the spice girls came on the scene in the late 90s, it's been downhill ever since.

If feminist books had been completely banned I could see how this has happened, but I really don't understand why we have retreated.

A lot of people don't read books anymore. They rely in what Google tells them, which explains a whole lot.

I don't know about this specific person, but yeah porn is a huge factor. It ruthlessly stereotypes men as having to be a certain way and women as having to be in a certain (opposite) way. Even gay and lesbian porn tend to only show visibly hyper-masculine men and hyper-feminine women.

Well duh, people need to stop lying to her, including her therapist. This is a prime example of how damaging it is to affirm these feelings rather than confront them head on.

She's so fully and completely embracing the idea that only men get to be human. No wonder she is depressed...

Professional therapist, spends an hour with a patient: Trans all the way, go for it!! Casual stranger, spends 40 seconds "meeting" the patient through Reddit: Wow, I count 3 red flags. You should NOT have transitioned.

And it's always like that. Red flags.all.over.the.place.

I'd offer a counterpoint - when I gently question trans-identified children in a therapeutic setting, many do not "play ball" and immediately sense an "attack." I still do it because, hello, but it's hard to engage teenagers into challenging their thought errors and behaviours when their whole world is just about themselves (which is developmentally appropriate for a teen, but makes transgender ideology poison).

[–] SakuraBlossoms transheight 7'3" 6 points

I've tried to talk reason to both trans-identified adults and minors, and they all get extremely defensive or hostile. They've been groomed into thinking that if someone doesn't fully support gender ideology in any way they're an enemy of the cult, a bigot and infidel, one of the evil "homophobes" or TERFs they've been warned about. I would expect the same reaction from a member of any other cult.

You're not inferior to men, you're a woman. Enjoy it. It makes you better in so many ways.

The gender extremists are making a mess of autistic kids. OF COURSE she's autistic.

Yes, you are.

No female can become a male. Your bound breasts, mastectomied breasts, arm graft scar, phalloplasty, and everything you do to make yourself seem more like a man are themselves proof of your being female. No male has to do this.

You get better by stopping trying to be what you are not and accepting yourself as you are. You never needed to do any of this.

Jesus christ this is so upsetting to read. None of them know what the fuck they are doing or that none of it changes them into a man. They've been sold nothing but lies.

[–] SakuraBlossoms transheight 7'3" 12 points

i have to try so hard to even attempt to match their level [of masculinity]

monitoring everything I say

Wow, I'm glad transitioning has finally allowed her to be her true authentic self! 🏳️‍⚧️🥳👍

Image transcription: Reddit

i just feel so inferior to cis men. any advice appreciated.

i've always struggled with loving myself, and thought that hrt would solve this feeling. now that i'm 18 and safely on testosterone, the feeling has been replaced with an overwhelming feeling of inferiority. if i'm surrounded by cis men, presenting masculinely, (hopefully) passing to every one around me, i get this sinking feeling that i'm less than them. the fact that i don't have a penis, that i'm suppressing my chest behind a piece of fabric, that i'll never get to father a child. all these men have some kind of connection with each other that i cant seem to grasp. doesn't help that i'm autistic and struggle with social connections anyway.

i feel like i'm just cosplaying real masculinity. these men naturally have it, it exudes right off them. yet i have to try so hard to even attempt to match their level.

i'm wearing a binder, got a sock in my pants, got lifts in my shoes. my throat hurts from pushing my voice too deep. monitoring everything i say, to sound as cis as possible. they get to just chuck a shirt on and leave the house without worrying about any of that.

how can i love myself when i am so subpar to these men?

i really need any advice you have. therapy doesn't help btw, i've been in it since i was 12.

This is sad and a little pathetic. The first thing is that she needs to accept that she’s female. I know that autism and dysphoria have high correlation rates. I believe that this is due to the difficulties autistic people have differentiating between symbol or metaphor and reality. That because she didn’t fit female stereotypes she concluded that she must be male. To be fair, our entire society is confused at the moment about sex role stereotypes and biological sex and being autistic would increase that difficulty. The marketing of this to children and young people is criminal. Because they can never have what they want. If it even truly is what they want. Because girls and women were statistically a very small part of this until recently. I’m out of patience with many of the TiFs but this just made me sad.

I disagree with you. I think the main issue with autistic people is that they find it hard to fit into the tiny boxes society gives them to exist in, simply because there is NO GOOD OBJECTIVE REASON TO DO SO. Like, there is no logical reason why women are treated as if they can't do intelligent things. Honestly I feel like most autistic women who don't want to be women anymore do it for this reason. It's too restricting. We just want to be free, stop performing, and do the things we are good at.

In my opinion, all we need to do is just as a society, make the boxes bigger. Yes, women can look however they look. They can be smart, they can be ambitious. They can relax and not walk on tiptoes all the time (literally and figuratively). They can be comfortable in their own skin, and do not need to starve themselves into tiny skeletons to be valued.

[–] DoomedSibyl 2 points Edited

All women want this. All women want to be free. We don’t conclude that this desire makes us male or that a change of look will do the job.

Not to mention that the entire idea of trans enforces those sex stereotypes and doesn’t make the boxes any bigger. Trying to get into a bigger box while assuming that all other women must like being slaves entrenched misogyny even further. We need to fight sex role stereotypes and free all women, not grade women on how well they compare to men to decide who gets to be free.

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