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This person needs therapy, not a romantic relationship with anyone -- especially someone she's never met (?).

So many issues need urgent attention here...

Yet she claims they went to couples therapy? I understand telemedicine, and it's great, but how did any trained therapist look at her and him, and their situation, and not gently suggest observing the container ship full of red flags in port?! Just turn off the internet and she's free of his nonsense!

Yeah, I read somewhere that more and more therapists these days end up reminding themselves to ask the client whether the client has actually ever met their significant other. Relationships lived out almost entirely in the imagination (with texts and occasional video calls as only forms of contact) have become pretty common. I don't know if it's that I'm old but I don't get how people go on so long without meeting the other person.

[–] LonelyKindred Jaded Tomboy 28 points

There is so much going on here

Why is she with someone who has opposite opinions about having kids???

SINCE WHEN IS FUTA A T SLUR?? That's a fetish about a kind of person that literally Does Not Exist??? Holy shit they're really offended by everything

Also that woman needs help badly. 7 years???

[–] crodish 10 points Edited

SINCE WHEN IS FUTA A T SLUR??

You didn't hear? "Trap" and the like are all T-slurs now. Everything is a T-slur unless it involves sucking the dick that they selectively get dysphoria about

I don't understand the problem with "trap". Traps usually aren't even trans, most of the time they're gay men.

This woman is especially in no position to have children, oh my god i don't even know where to start here. There is so many red flags that i basically only see red. Poor woman, she needs a LOT of therapy and to be far away from men at least until she can manage her mental illness somewhat.

Exactly. She wants kids. He doesn’t. This is an automatic deal breaker.

[–] FlorenceBlue Lvl5 Laser Lotus 21 points

Never met in person. And yet is willing to destroy her life by irreversibly hitching herself to a man in a destructive spiral. I pray to god she snaps out of it and gets therapy.

I stopped reading at 1: they’re in a LDR and have never met, and she is terrified of people particularly men. That’s not so much sad as just a waste of my time. I wish her well as much as I wish anyone well, but come on. Whatever she’s doing, it’s not a relationship, with a man or anyone.

This man is presumably using her for emotional labour/support (since they are in a relationship having never met in person), and doesn't give a shit about her desire to have children, which means if she ever had children with him she'd end up raising them alone. This woman needs some therapy real bad. But first remove this guy from her life.

This woman is in no fit mental state for any kind of romantic relationship. Dear God.

This woman is somehow being enabled to continue her agoraphobia (by people, society). I say this as someone who struggled with this at one point before delivery “everything” existed and I didn’t have support from friends/family where I lived. I was forced to do something about it or else I would have died. Yes, going out was excruciating but I forced myself to do it. It was embarrassing at times but I had no choice. She has the time and energy to carry on a 7 year LDR but won’t work on her own mental health? IMO she’s not ready to have kids. It would be horrible for a child’s development to have a mother who couldn’t ever leave the house.

never met in person?? incompatible desires for children?? childhood trauma and severe mental illness as an adult??

shit gets worse the more you read, literally none of this sounds remotely healthy.

10 year age gap is an immediate no for me. The other things you listed just add to the garbage fire. This woman is too preoccupied with entertaining a man’s fantasy online to prioritize her mental health. I hope she gets the help she needs.

Wow at first I got “futa” mixed up with FUPA (fat upper pubic area). Turned to Google and it said Federal Unemployment Tax Act; took me a good minute until I realized it must be slang/shortening of whatever that anime porn thing is, you know the one

Jesus. I feel so sorry for this girl. She needs to wake up. What a waste for a 28 year old woman to be spending her time on a 38 year old loser she hasn't even met. By the time she actually wakes up, it could be another 5 years or more.

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