Some of you read my post yesterday, that I was going to bring up the trans issues to my husband and tell him my opinions. A lot of you offered such great advice and support, thank you! Well, I did it...
It didn't go so great. I couldn't stay calm. I was so nervous when I started and he wasn't saying anything back, so I just kept going...and rambling...and ranting. Four months' worth of thoughts and new ideas just came spilling out. He was overwhelmed.
Then, because I got into the groove of this sort of tirade, he said my tone turned him off from wanting to discuss it. He said it was like being lectured at.
He did agree men and boys should not be allowed in women and girls' sports. He was surprised to learn men could identify into women's prisons in California, and he didn't like that idea. So I think he does agree with me about safeguarding issues.
However, the whole conversation was just...bad. It was just a bad time in my marriage. I told him I regret telling him. He said it was good because "he wants to know my opinions" and "it's ok to agree to disagree." But I told him, to me, it's not comfortable to "agree to disagree" because that means I am the one without an ally. He has all the friends, colleagues, mainstream liberal social media that agrees with him, and I still have no one. So why even tell him and put this disagreement in our marriage?
I wish I had told a woman first.
I feel discouraged. I feel "exposed." It would be better if I hadn't said anything. Actually, it would be best if I had never investigated these issues myself, if I had remained an oblivious by-stander like the rest of my friends and family.
ETA: Update! Yesterday I emailed my husband two articles, one scholarly (law journal) and one popular (a Medium essay). I said he could read them or not read them, I'm not giving homework. I said if he did read them he could talk to me or not talk to me about it, but I wouldn't be the one bringing them up. Today I see that he emailed me back and said he would read the articles. So he's open to learning! :)