102

I've been with my wonderful partner for almost 3 years now but, until last night, had always been afraid that she would find out about my gender critical views and it would be a deal-breaker for our relationship.

Well last night we stayed up putting the world to rights and she knows that I'm strongly anti-porn and prostitution already. I lead with that and told her that I'm a radfem and GC and I got to discuss all my views*.

And she understood! She said everything I mentioned was reasonable, that she gets my point of view and that she had been critical of certain things (like the sports issue) but wasn't sure about whether to bring it up. Most of all, she said I'm not a bigot, I'm not extreme - I confessed that I was so scared to tell her because of how vehemently anti-GC everyone at university is. And she said my views couldn't change her love for me, that she always thinks I'm level headed.

In the end, she said she never thought about it that deeply but she wants to look into the issue more. And that anyone who couldn't see the problems with trans ideology 'clearly haven't thought about it very much'.

Tldr : My heart feels so full - I've peaked my partner and I adore her so much!

I've been with my wonderful partner for almost 3 years now but, until last night, had always been afraid that she would find out about my gender critical views and it would be a deal-breaker for our relationship. Well last night we stayed up putting the world to rights and she knows that I'm strongly anti-porn and prostitution already. I lead with that and told her that I'm a radfem and GC and I got to discuss all my views*. And she understood! She said everything I mentioned was reasonable, that she gets my point of view and that she had been critical of certain things (like the sports issue) but wasn't sure about whether to bring it up. Most of all, she said I'm not a bigot, I'm not extreme - I confessed that I was so scared to tell her because of how vehemently anti-GC everyone at university is. And she said my views couldn't change her love for me, that she always thinks I'm level headed. In the end, she said she never thought about it that deeply but she wants to look into the issue more. And that anyone who couldn't see the problems with trans ideology 'clearly haven't thought about it very much'. Tldr : My heart feels so full - I've peaked my partner and I adore her so much!

12 comments

First, biggest, and most important reaction: I’m so happy for you.

Secondary reaction: what an insane world we live in, that people have to live on tenterhooks, wondering if their beloved partner also lives in reality.

I am, again, so happy for you both, may you continue to strengthen each other.

I was especially hesitant because she was firmly planted in the 'be nice' camp when we first met - although the topic didn't come up too often. (Like she immediately switched to calling Elliot Page a man, etc)

Thank you for your kind words - I'm so relieved that it's all turned out well!

[–] STEMfemme [OP] 36 points Edited

*views including...

  • there is no gendered soul so how can we be born in a wrong body

  • medicalisation of GNC people - how hormones and surgeries are filled with risk and do not reduce the suicide rate

  • the link between gender dysphoria and body integrity Identity disorder (wanting to be amputated)

  • TiM criminals being reported as women - skewing of statistics and TiMs being imprisoned in female jails

  • womens' awards and funding going to TiMs

  • TiMs leading girl guides units (she is a volunteer and was especially disgusted by that)

I'm so happy for you! This is really sweet, and it's inspiring how much respect you have for each other.

That’s awesome. I really think most people quietly agree with us, and only a small vocal minority is heard in the media somehow.

This is really nice. Just plain nice to read. Bright blessings to you both.

What a joyful post to read, thank you for sharing this. Your partner sounds absolutely awesome and lovely.

Oh, that's great! I'm so happy for you and your partner, clearly, you both lucked out relationship-wise!