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Which is always said sarcastically.

I have one cat in particular, really my daughter's cat, who loves to steal chicken. We can't leave the chicken anywhere to cool down before putting in the fridge, or to rest in the chicken off the table, or, as in today, to sit on the plata (warming plate) to heat up on Shabbat.

I had said chicken, and other foods, on the plata to warm up, and was online doing something when CRASH!!!!! in an attempt to reach the chicken she had knocked the beets all over the floor.

ARGGHHHHH

I love her but right about now....

Which is always said sarcastically. I have one cat in particular, really my daughter's cat, who loves to steal chicken. We can't leave the chicken anywhere to cool down before putting in the fridge, or to rest in the chicken off the table, or, as in today, to sit on the plata (warming plate) to heat up on Shabbat. I had said chicken, and other foods, on the plata to warm up, and was online doing something when CRASH!!!!! in an attempt to reach the chicken she had knocked the beets all over the floor. ARGGHHHHH I love her but right about now....

22 comments

[–] SecondSkin 8 points Edited

I once knew a tiny kitten not yet weaned fully from his mum who stole a giant raw steak right out the frying pan on a lit gas stove, ate the entire thing himself, while keeping all the feral farm cats away from it.

On the other hand my giant dogs will stand at their bowls and cry and whinge if I dare to feed them steak that isn’t chopped up small enough and cooked through well enough for them 🙄. Despite the fact they are all sighthounds bred to be skilled hunters and bred to be savvy enough to hide when poaching, to avoid being shot when whichever king outlawed commoners owning sighthounds forever ago.

They also need their raincoats put on to go out to the garden to pee if it rains, have my kids trained to fetch their balls if one rolls of one of our beds (where they sleep-their memory foam doggo beds and many heat pads and fluffy duvets are not good enough, even when wearing their thermal pjs) and will whine until we bring them tubs of water to drink at night because they won’t get up when it’s cold or go downstairs in the dark…..

Next zombie apocalypse tv show needs to star cats and no dogs. Clearly your cats would survive and my pampered pooches would be lost!

Next zombie apocalypse tv show needs to star cats and no dogs.

I would watch this. Even though it would be a huge bother, I'd even be willing to take the one human role.

This is completely true. We sometimes joke about how our dog (also a sighthound) would be one huge FAIL if she had to "live in the wild". Like, no way. "Where's my duvet? Where's my cooked chopped chicken? What's that scary balloon doing? So I caught a squirrel but now what do I do it's biting my nose ouch I don't like this anymore! Help there's a fox run awaaaayeeee. Help I trod on a nettle ow I'm going to die. My ball is under the sofa I can't reach it get it for meeeeee, whine whine whine".

Whereas a cat would obviously prefer to have their centrally heated hotel, servants and room service, but if push came to shove they would be fine.

[–] SecondSkin 1 points Edited

I finally got round to buying electric dehumidifier and my biggest baby dog is so scared of it I need to turn it off and put a blanket over it to get him through that room.

I tried removing it from the room but it turns out that’s even scarier. When I tried that he walked around whinging and shaking (with me by his side because he’s a big boo-boo baby) until he found the cupboard it was stashed in. My partner couldn’t be bothered with hiding it when the same doggo again panicked the next day so he just threw a towel over it once turned off. Big baby doggo will tolerate this solution if we stay with him while he eats and drinks. He keeps side eyeing it though then scarpers back upstairs and demands I get in bed with him under my covers, his head on my lap, until he gets over the trauma.

He is by far the prettiest of them all, full eye make up and pretty pretty eyes, Marilyn Monroe mole, ears as long as his pointy nose, so in the event of the apocalypse he may just find himself a new human fan base to cater to his doggo needs quicker than the others, who look like mounds of mud most days.

OMG that's hilarious. We have a similar situation every birthday/halloween if there are balloons in the house. Balloons are honestly the most terrifying thing ever, and she can't even walk through a room if there's a balloon.

She's also literally frightened of her own shadow and I have a video of her barking and jumping out of her skin every time the shadow of her own ears appears on the wall above the bed.

She also is extremely beautiful with black kohl eye make-up and big pointy bat-ears that fold up into little rose-buds when she's scared and she also does a fair bit of holding up one paw with a limp wrist and looking tragic. I think you are right, this is their survival mechanism: be cute and pretty and pathetic enough that humans will look after you.

We had one that would dumpster dive for any amount of chicken, cooked or raw. She famously stole my dad's chicken breast right off his plate at the dinner table while his back was turned.

And yet we let her live with us. At least she was cute. 😅

When I was a kid our cats were not allowed in the dining room but often my cat would somehow sneak in, and then sneak up onto my lap, under the table, when no one was looking. Then after a few minutes a single solitary paw would appear over the edge of the table and stab blindly at random on my plate until her claws made contact then she would swiftly withdraw the paw with food item attached, jump down and feast on her prize under the table before jumping up on my lap for her next course.

Sometimes my parents would notice and tell me and the cat off, but more often they wouldn't notice the paw and me and my brother would have to stifle our giggles.

But she tried to save you from eating the absolute worst vegetable!

In all seriousness, one of my cats once spent a night overturning the kitchen trash and digging though it, just to lick a bit of discarded chicken packaging. It's a nice thing to wake up to 🙄

Yet we love them!!!

How many cats do you have?

Two. My fluffy black cat is a beautiful idiot and her tuxedo brother is a terrifying demon who is plotting a coup.

This is true! But why? Why does this happen? Do they discuss it between them and decide who will have which role?

Growing up our male tabby cat, slightly long-haired, absolutely stunningly beautiful markings and deep green eyes was SO STUPID it became a family joke. Whereas the other cat, female with assymetric odd-looking black-and-white markings was kind of small and weird looking with her white splotch on the side of her nose, but god she was brains-smart and also street-smart, born to a feral mother, if you met her outside she was ferocious and wild with a crazy look in her eyes. She would lie in wait for her adopted brother just waiting to beat him up before returning to her schemes. She was affectionate and devoted to me but wouldn't let anyone else near her.

Truer words were never typed lol. My tuxedo is also a terrifying demon plotting a couple. The tortie is my beautiful idiot 🤣🤣🤣

[–] hmimperialtortie Cats. Just cats. 1 points

Worse than Brussels sprouts?

Certainly!

[–] hmimperialtortie Cats. Just cats. 1 points

😆

I can’t say I care for beetroot, but I only get it in salads where it’s easy to throw out. But when you’re served a cooked meal where Brussels sprouts are the only greens, ew! Damn things taste like the dirt they grew in, as my sister says.

[–] [Deleted] 🦇 1 points

But she tried to save you from eating the absolute worst vegetable!

Agree! 100% 🤮

[–] Redmage thehotline.org 2 points

I used to put chicken in the microwave to cool off, but now we have a microwave over the oven and apparently that keeps the microwave warm??? Where do I protect things from cat then??

[–] hmimperialtortie Cats. Just cats. 2 points

Makes me very glad I don’t have to do more than reheat meals in the microwave, because I know my clumsy clod would be pulling stunts like that!