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*Please keep in mind that some things that I talk about in this post may be specific to my culture

I’m a teenager but have recently had some of my male teachers talk to us students about women’s age and their reproductive ability. Probably just a coincidence, but it pissed me off.

Anyways, I just had a realization that men online and offline constantly insulting women in their 30s for their "diminishing" attractiveness and reproductive ability don’t actually want women in their 30s to notice those insults. They want to scare teen girls or women in their 20s who are still unsure and ignorant about matters of life. They keep using scare tactics to steer us towards marriage and childbirth at an early age. The societal pressure to make us marry a man before the age of 30, to make us give birth to a man’s child before the age of 30, is so immense.

At the same time, they push this image that it is primarily the women who are in a hurry to get married while men want to remain a “free bachelor”. I think in real life it is the exact opposite. Men don’t admit it, but I think they really REALLY want to get married and have children.

The way they treat women so overcritically is quite like haggling to bring the price down of something you want to buy. Collective male shaming of women's age pressures women into lowering their standards by making them feel like they are always running out of time and losing their “value” as a woman.

The way people depict women in their 30s is something that can easily make many younger women controlled by fear. The media also act as if a woman who is unmarried by their 30s will be societally outcast, stripped of her social status, and lose all her respectability in the eyes of other people. Does this actually happen in real life to women in their 30s? No. But the haunting image sure does work on women in their 20s. They are intentionally trying to lower women’s self-esteem into marrying them, dating them, giving birth to their children. Women who successfully survive this period of life without being tricked manage to do fine and thrive in life. Men know that actual older women don't give a fig about their pathetic opinions, and instead focus on converting young women.

I can’t believe my teachers are already starting to implicitly pressure their female students about marriage and childbirth. I'm not going to fall for the stupid trap. I have seen so many women whose lives have been ruined because of their husbands but not a single woman whose life has been ruined because they did not get married to a man.

*Please keep in mind that some things that I talk about in this post may be specific to my culture I’m a teenager but have recently had some of my male teachers talk to us students about women’s age and their reproductive ability. Probably just a coincidence, but it pissed me off. Anyways, I just had a realization that men online and offline constantly insulting women in their 30s for their "diminishing" attractiveness and reproductive ability don’t actually want women in their 30s to notice those insults. They want to scare teen girls or women in their 20s who are still unsure and ignorant about matters of life. They keep using scare tactics to steer us towards marriage and childbirth at an early age. The societal pressure to make us marry a man before the age of 30, to make us give birth to a man’s child before the age of 30, is so immense. At the same time, they push this image that it is primarily the women who are in a hurry to get married while men want to remain a “free bachelor”. I think in real life it is the exact opposite. Men don’t admit it, but I think they really REALLY want to get married and have children. The way they treat women so overcritically is quite like haggling to bring the price down of something you want to buy. Collective male shaming of women's age pressures women into lowering their standards by making them feel like they are always running out of time and losing their “value” as a woman. The way people depict women in their 30s is something that can easily make many younger women controlled by fear. The media also act as if a woman who is unmarried by their 30s will be societally outcast, stripped of her social status, and lose all her respectability in the eyes of other people. Does this actually happen in real life to women in their 30s? No. But the haunting image sure does work on women in their 20s. They are intentionally trying to lower women’s self-esteem into marrying them, dating them, giving birth to their children. Women who successfully survive this period of life without being tricked manage to do fine and thrive in life. Men know that actual older women don't give a fig about their pathetic opinions, and instead focus on converting young women. I can’t believe my teachers are already starting to implicitly pressure their female students about marriage and childbirth. I'm not going to fall for the stupid trap. I have seen so many women whose lives have been ruined because of their husbands but not a single woman whose life has been ruined because they did not get married to a man.

27 comments

Getting older as a woman means coming into your power. Men hate women 30+ plus because we become hardened, focused and wise to their ways. Much harder to get a woman in her 30s or 40s to commit than a young woman who believes the fairytale.

^ I've gained status in the ways I care about as I've aged. As I passed through my younger years, I had no real complaints about those decades (per se), but now that I'm firmly into middle age, I'm happier than ever. I can say with 100% certainty that the only way I'd relive those years is if I could invent a magic time machine that would allow me to take what I know now and relive my early life with my current understanding firmly in mind.

I want to give a little cheer for you, incognita00, for knowing the score so early in life. It's a superpower! Cherish it :-)

[–] Jade 10 points

Amen to all this. In my early 30s I had this epiphany seeing this 23 tear old woman who was eating up all the ludicrous lies this man was telling her to get in her pants (and definitely a green card - he was British), and how every time I tried to alert her she’d already “swear loyalty to him” and feel like she’s “the chosen one” and suggest *I* read You Are Badass by Jane Sincero or whatever her name is.

I remember that when I was 23, I was exactly the same. So many young women put all their value in the validation from men. Unfortunately, it’s a “grooming-by-society” thing. You grow out of it when you mature. But in your early 20’s, “being the prettiest”,”being the one the man/men choose(s)”, means so much. Because you were taught by Hollywood, Disney, the media, magazines, songs, books read to you as a kid, the eventual adult, etc that that’s how it works.