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8 comments

[–] Boudicaea 3 points (+11|-8) Edited

This is sad, but honestly after years of experience, I think we expect too much out of our male partners even today. They can't be your lover and your best friend and your coworker and your helpmate around the house. That's a lot to ask of anyone, but especially men. If you can have a reasonably friendly relationship with a male partner, where he does not cheat and you are both more or less sexually satisfied, and he does not hit you or terrorize you, and he does not abuse you financially or emotionally, and he does help out around the house some. That is the most you can ask for really.

I used to hope for some passionate love affair that would last a lifetime, but that just is not realistic. You can have much better friendships with women than you can with men, even better than with your own husband. I have started to put much more effort into those and to expect less out of my husband. We are both happier for it.

[–] KBash 5 points (+6|-1) Edited

Why are men such bad friends?

I just wish they’d be more like women. I used to think I was “homoromantic” for a while, until I realized that was annoying.

Are there any sensitive (in the good way; in my experience, most are sensitive in the bad way but not the good way, so they cannot reciprocate in the project of not hurting each other’s feelings) men out there?

Or is it abnormal for men to be hurtful all the time?

I don’t even know anymore. I feel like giving up on them altogether.

[–] La 2 points (+2|-0)

Sensitive men are just as shitty if not more so.

[–] KBash 3 points (+4|-1) Edited

I agree that this is true but...damn you wish sometimes men could just get a clue. At the very least make you feel special and like they’re into you...something I always do for a partner. It seems like that is too much to ask for most men. I don’t care how old you are and what you look like, if someone chooses to be in a relationship with you, doing this is the very least they can do for you.

I increasingly don’t know if there are any men like this, who show respect and loyalty to their partners.

[–] Thaumaturg1st 3 points (+5|-2)

Yes I think today people expect way too much out of their romantic partnerships and genuine friendships especially for women gets degraded. It's almost a social expectation now for women to be catty towards their friends or lacking in loyalty.

[–] VeronicaB 3 points (+3|-0)

I need a novel/film/something about this subject, but with a good ending 😂😂

Yes! Especially if the heroine of the story runs away from her boring husband and goes to live happily with her female friends :)

I don't know a novel like this offhand, but you're welcome to post in o/Books to ask for recommendations.

[–] La 1 points (+1|-0)

I only read the title but might I suggest that marriage in the 20th and 21st centuries offers far less emotional intimacy than friendship with other women?

I base this on my own life as well as emotionally intimate friendships with other women and what they say about their marriages. Even some friends who are very happy in their marriages after 10 plus years are like "my husband doesn't really talk or listen to me." But I guess they're good guys who function well, work and clean, and the sex must be good.