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16 comments

It doesn't occur to him to wonder why his friends are so shitty that they're ogling his wife at all much less while she's nursing their child. Nope, just easiest to blame his wife and the mother of their children and be done with it.

[โ€“] BlackCirce ๐Ÿ”ฎ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ–๐Ÿ– 36 points

What's interesting about this is that these observations / instincts about men don't seem to tell anyone anything about men... its all about women and we are supposed to do / not do to avoid men's prurience. If we do try to avoid it then we are paranoid, misandrist, prudish, or good, or modest or moral. If we don't try to avoid it we are asking for it, naive, stupid sexpozzy libfems, or we're liberated, brave, bold. But men aren't anything for what they do. They're just men being men, grabbing mindlessly at anything they can sexualize. The husband doesn't update his view on men. Even he feels terrified in the face of male sexuality, he doesn't have any instinct to defend his wife as a breastfeeding mother and not masturbation material, all he can do is tell her to hide. He's afraid another man will say something to him. Say what exactly? He knows how most men are. How is that? Who knows? Who cares when you can just tell a woman to hide her breast and make her feel guilty and disgusting for breastfeeding.

down somewhere in the comments the real reason comes out, he's worried his male friends will respect him less because he couldn't keep his woman in line, she's out there flashing her titties on the internet!!!

gross.

better way: just say you want to start keeping all pictures of your kid off social media. he's right there are creepy perverts who will save those pics, but he doesn't care about that as much as him being seen as less of a man ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

I would not be happy with my partner showing her nipples online either, because there are men who compile giant "porn stashes" of breastfeeding women and women giving birth, and I would not want my partner or myself to be fodder for them.

It sucks, but we have to protect ourselves from these disgusting men. If it's online it's there forever. Your nipple will be circulating all over these nasty fetishists' collections online.

It is very annoying! And I hate that she deals with that as a woman. Iโ€™m not trying to sexualize it. I just know how most men are, Iโ€™m uncomfortable with it because when I say Facebook friends, I mean male-coworkers, bosses, people we see on a daily bases that I know will make it a sexual thing and may possibly say something to me.

His comment to a reply saying that they can see the wife's POV, but like...why do you allow a sexual comment like that to even come up? You can't tell these other men not to be shitty when you claim to be such a supportive husband?

While I agree they should've talked fully just in general about sharing photos involving their child...she is BREASTFEEDING!!! Stop sexualizing it!!

He's so wrong that he ended up coming to the "right conclusion". Yeah do not post your nipples online because you WILL end up on some disgusting porn site. But he's just jealous that his mates can "check out" his wife and probably also afraid people will call her a sl#t because it reflects badly on him. It's awful that women are with men like that...

Am I awful for wanting to crosspost this to r/breastfeeding and watch them tear it to shreds?

Antiquated, paternalistic attitude... feeding babies (and toddlers!) is literally what nipples are designed to do. They belong to the woman and are on loan (so to speak) to the infant, no one else gets a say.

Eh, I don't think the way to normalize breastfeeding is to post photos on FB that show your nipples while doing it. It should not be sexualized but it definitely is, and to be effective the activism has to recognize that we don't live in an ideal world yet IMHO. I am currently breastfeeding and my nipples are not really visible when I do it in public. People should not be looking for them (although men definitely try!!). Does not make sense to intentionally put them on display if you are trying to make bfing less sexualized.

That being said, husband's feelings of personal embarrassment are 100 irrelevant, frankly it's chauvinistic to even bring it up. I think he may have been trying to explain this somewhat but got sidetracked by his personal feelings. Seems to me he just didn't have the language to really explain why it's problematic given how much he is trying to emphasize that he supports her extended breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public, etc.

I don't know, personally after 2 years of breastfeeding nipples have become completely unsexual for me. I agree when nursing in public there's generally not a lot on show, but I'm also very aware with a hugely distractible toddler that I do fairly often flash people unintentionally and... so what? I'm not doing it to titillate anyone (sorry), I just can't always keep my toddler focused and he wriggles worse than an eel. I'd rather stop him falling on the ground than keep my tits covered 100% of the time.

Tbf also agree that's miles away from posting it on FB for everyone to see whenever they like, though.

I do not get turned on by nipple stimulation the way I did before having kids.

Yeah, I occasionally do flash too, and I only have a little infant! Sadly men do seem to watch me closely in hopes of a nip slip. I have noticed it. They pretend to look away when I look at them, but I know it's happening. One time my daughter popped off at the pool and it was like three men had their heads on swivels. What are you gonna do though? You can only glare at them with a baby suctioned to your chest.

I thought this was going to be about short skirts and push up bras but no.

He is afraid that they might "say something to him"? WTF? That would be the opportunity to tell them how sleazy and disgusting they are. (and unfriend them, if he is friends with such men).

Did anybody catch that โ€œnipples are the 2nd vaginaโ€ comment from someone trying to defend the OP lol