So, I've actually read a few of Nagata Kabi's books and IDK I'd this title is really doing Nagata any justice here. A lot of Nagata's stories have to do with dealing with mental illness, and the stories themselves are really heartbreaking but also relatble in some ways. One of my FAVORITE things that Nagata talks about in her stories that a lot of libfems and other people just gloss over is how before Nagata realizes she is a lesbian, she always tends to draw yaoi art (AKA boys love anime art), and Nagata herself wonders why she is more comfortable with this kind of art than 'straight anime's art. Later Nagata says she realizes it's actually because she was a lesbian, and she wasn't sure how to acknowledge this part of herself at first, she was more comfortable drawing gay men than straight relationships. Eventually she goes on to explore lesbian art to become more comfortable with herself. It's better told in the novel but I like this part because it has an actual woman lesbian admitting to herself why she wanted to stay gay men in the first place, knowing that as a woman she could never become a gay man and then finding her true self. IDK I'm bad at explaining stuff, but Nagata's works are really deep and meaningful.

I knew someone exactly with this trajectory too, the internalized lesbophobia was very strong. It's sad.